He’s gone, I know
And I can do nothing else
To bring him back
To this life
With us

I can do nothing
And that’s what hurts;
I can do nothing
To make him see
The love that in my heart dwells

The dreams we shared
Have left me now;
Knowing he wished not to be there
I hope beyond my biggest hopes though
That he knows what he means to me

I cannot cry
Can't make my eyes
Shower with the salty fluids
I know not why
Except that I
Am numb as the world salutes

It does not matter
Where I am
Dressed in black or red or white
Even at his funeral
I could still not make them come
Quite

I think my alien body knows
That tears will bring nothing good
I wish my human heart
Would listen, as it should

The others, I know, fear for me
Say it's unnatural to cry not a tear;
They cannot seem to see
That it's unnatural for me to be here
At all

My body is all mixed up
Made of different things
Like fruit and ice cream
In a blending machine;
My body
My mind is beginning to resemble
I feel confused
Just like that machine

My people depend on me
'Queen Vilandra!' They call but I see
Nothing but envy and hurtful pain
On that world so far from me

To thee, Alex, I wish nothing but peace
And I hope that someday I'm there to share
The wonderful, pure place
That I know must be bare with those
Who know thee

I hope that you rest now
Knowing your secret, my secret
Is safe
Not having to watch each little word
Or having to endanger those
Otherwise innocent

I don't know what I am
I don't know from where I come
I don't know who loves me true
And who puts on a face
To get some

But I know that I love you true
Your smile, your walk and your face
You are so much, so much more
Than me and my scared pretty face

I envied you, you know
Feeling so safe in your skin
Never once wondering
If you were crazy, and all this was
Just a game to win

Life is that game, Alex
And you have played it so well
That I should not even hope to see
The day when with you I should dwell

But I hope and I pray and I hope so more
Because I’ve never felt this way
And mostly, I hope
That you know how I feel
Because I know how you feel
And that makes you wiser

Once more

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