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| WARNING - Some jokes are naughty! |
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Jokes |
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A policeman had just finished his shift one night and was at home with his wife. "You just won't believe what happened tonight," he says. "In all my years in the force I've never seen anything like it." "What happened?" asks his wife. "I came across two fellas down by the water - front," says the cop. "One of them was drinking battery acid and the other one was eating fireworks." "What did you do?" asks his wife. "Oh, that was easy. I charged one, and let the other off." |
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A Stupid Cop Joke - |
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| Mickey in Court - |
Judge: "Look here Mickey Mouse, I cannot grant you a divorce from Minnie." Mickey (stunned): "Why not?" Judge: "I have reviewed all the information you have gave the court, but I can't find any evidence at all to support the grounds that she is crazy." Mickey (exasperated): Your honor! I didn't say she was crazy.... I said she is fu**ing goofy!!!!" |
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| The Priest - |
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A priest lost his pet rooster and couldn't find it no matter how many times he looked around his Parish. Frustrated, he decided to bring it up during his Sunday Mass. From the pulpit, he asked loudly, "Anyone got a cock?" All the men inside the church stood up! "No, I mean, has anyone seen a cock?" All the woman inside the church stood up. "No, what I mean is has anyone seen MY cock?" All the nuns stood up! |
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| Cycle? What Cycle? - |
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A girl goes to the local dance and a boy comes over and asks if she would dance with him. She says "Okay!" They dance a while then he asks, "Can I take you home?" "Okay," she says, "but there will be no funny business. I am on my menstral cycle this week." "That's okay," he says, "I'll follow you on my mountain bike." |
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Penguin's Car - |
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Penguin's car has been running rough for weeks, so he finally decides to take it in and have a mechanic check it out. "Can you have a look at this, it's running really rough," he says. "No problem," replies the mechanic. "But I won't be able to get around to it for a half-hour." Rather than sitting in the shop's rather unpleasant waiting room, Penguin decides to take a stroll down the street, where he happens upon an ice cream shop. Not having eaten all day, he orders a tripple scoop of vanilla, which he consumes with reckless abandon. "Man, that was good," Penguin says to himself with a mess of ice cream dripping off his beak. When Penguin arrives back at the shop, the mechanic greets him with the bad news. "It looks like you blew a seal," he says, nodding his head. "Oh... no... that's just ice cream!" replies Penguin. |
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More jokes will be added soon.... |
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Leia's HOME |
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