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| aRe YoU a WeeWee? |
| YoU'Re pRoBaBLy THiNKiNg To YoURSeLF "WTF iS THiS DuMb BiTcH TaLKiNg aBoUT"? WeLL, iF YoU'd sHuT THe FuCk uP & GiMMe a cHaNCe To eXpLaiN YoU'd Be gLaD YoU LiSTeNeD. THe iNFoRMaTioN THaT i aM aBOuT To pReSeNT iS NoT oNLy iNFoRMaTiVe BuT iMPoRTaNT. We MuST RiD THe WoRLd oF WeeWeeS. THeiR BuRDeN oN SoCieTy OuTWeiGHs THe HuMoR THeY BRiNg To mY LiFe. BeiNg WeeTeR iS NoTHiNg oNe sHoULd aSPiRe To Be. pLeaSe FoR THe LoVe oF MaN & pReSeRVaTioN oF OuR gReaT WoRLd RiD uS oF YouR pReSeNCe iF YoU FiT THe DeScRiPTioN oF a WeeWee. iT's BeTTeR FoR YoU To eNd YouR LiFe THaN To CoNTiNUe LiViNg aS a WeeTeR. iF YoU CaNNoT THiNk oF a MeaNs To CeaSe LiViNg, We CaN HeLp. JuST SeNd aN eMaiL & We'LL SeNd a DeTaiLeD OuTLiNe oF a PoTeNTiaL LiFe eNDiNg pRoCeDuRe. We WiLL TRy OuR HaRDeST To MaKe YouR HeaRT sToP BeaTiNg. PuT YouR TRuST iN uS To NoT oNLy pReSeNT OuR AuDieNCe WiTH iNFoRMaTiVe ToPiCs BuT LiFe eNDiNg oPTioNs. |
| SiGNs & sYMpToMs oF a WeeWee |
| iF YoU eXHiBiT aNy oF THe FoLLoWiNg TRaiTs pLeaSe CeaSe eXiSTeNCe oN EaRTH. |
| ---YoUR CaR iS PaRKeD oN THe FRoNT LaWN ---YoU sPoRT a MuLLeT ---YoU HaVe pRiSoN TaTTooS (WoMeN & MeN) oN FoReaRMs, HaNDs, wRiSTs, aNKLeS (uSuaLLy cRoSSeS & RoSeS FoR LaDieS) ---BaDLy CoLoReD HaiR (THaT HoRRiD oRaNGiSH CoLoR oR BLeaCHeD w/HuGeaSs RooTs) ---CoUNTRy MuSiC (TWaNGy sHiT) BLaReS FRoM YouR HoUSe, TRuCk, TRaiLeR eTc. ---YoU HaVe PooFy a.K.a FeaTHeReD HaiR &/oR BaNgs ---YoUR DoG iS cHaiNeD oUTSiDe &/oR YoU HaVe CaTs RuNNiNg aRoUNd oUTSiDe ---YoU pRoUDLy DiSpLaY a CoNFeDeRaTe FLaG oN YouR TRuCk, HoUSe, TRaiLeR eTc. ---YoUR MoDe oF TRaNsPoRTaTioN iS a PiCkuP TRuCk, MuLTi-CoLoReD CaR (uNMaTCHiNg PaRTs) oR a RoTTeD BiKe ---YoU eNJoY NaSCaR & aNy CaR RaCiNg ---YoU'Re MiSSiNg TeeTH ---MuD TuRNs YoU oN ---YoU'Re RaCiST, HoMopHoBiC &/oR SeXiST ---DoG FiGHTiNg &/oR CoCk FiGHTiNg iS eNTeRTaiNiNg ---YoU LiVe iN a TRaiLeR ---YoU FiNd TaTTooS & MoToRcYCLeS SeXy (THeY CaN Be BuT NoT oN WeeWeeS) ---YoU MaRRieD a ReLaTiVe &/oR PiCk uP DaTeS aT FaMiLy GaTHeRiNGs ---YoU FiNd gUeSTs oN JeRRy sPRiNGeR aTTRaCTiVe & iDoLiZe THeM ---LaDieS w/FaCiaL HaiR TuRN YoU oN ---WeeWee PoP eXCiTeS YoU ---YouR KiDs pLaY iN THe sTReeT & RaiLRoaD TRacKs ---YoU sPeaK WiTH a SoUTHeRN DRaWL THoUGH YoU LiVe&/oR WeRe BoRN iN THe MiDWeST ---YoU SeNd YouR KiDs To sCHooL w/KooLaiD MuSTaCHeS, uNCoMBeD TaNGLy LiCe-FiLLeD HaiR & MiSMaTcHeD cLoTHeS ---YoU LiKe pLaYiNg BiNGo (FYi: BiNGo iS NoT WeeTeR. iT iS MeReLy FReQUeNTeD bY WeeWeeS!!!) ---YoU HaVe a GaRaGe SaLe & pLaCe aLL YouR JuNk oN The gRoUNd &/oR YouR CaR ---HooKeD oN pHoNiCs DiDN'T WoRk FoR YoU ---TNN, GAC & CMT aRe YouR FaVoRiTe cHaNNeLs |
| pRoCeeD WiTH eXTReMe CaUTioN iF YoU CoMe iN CoNTaCT WiTH aN iNDiViDuaL eXHiBiTiNg SiGNs oF WeeTeRNeSs. wHaTeVeR YoU Do, Do NoT, i RePeaT, Do NoT BeFRiENd THe WeeWee. WeeWeeS TeNd To BeCoMe cLiNGy & BoTHeRSoMe. THeY aRe NoTHiNg BuT aN aNNoYaNCe To THe aVeRaGe HuMaN BeiNg. We ReCoMMeNd YoU eXeRT YoUR iNTeLLiGeNCe & SuPeRioRiTy. WeeWeeS CaNNoT sTaNd NoR uNDeRsTaNd pRoPeR eNGLiSH. iF THeY See & HeaR iNTeLLiGeNT CoNVeRSaTioN THeY aRe LiKeLy To KeeP THeiR DiSTaNCe. aLSo, TRy NoT To FReQUeNT WeeTeR eSTaBLiSHMeNTs oR NeiGHBoRHooDs. |
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