| In Case you haven't already figured it out, I play the glorious instrument known as the Trombone. |
| Here are some reasons to play the trombone. The trombone rules, all other instruments are just jealous. The trombone is the only modern instrument that uses a slide. A trombone could beat up a trumpet. A trombone can reach farther than a trumpet. Trombone players don't know how to lose. Valves?... We don't need no stinkin' valves Tastes like chicken. Sometimes its ok to just let it sliiide One word, glissando The trumpet is just a trombone with a cramp Builds upper body muscles, improving reflexes, and creates an all around sense of well being. |
| Here are some jokes about other instruments (mostly trumpets) that I found pretty funny. -What's the difference between a Trumpet player and a government savings bond? A government savings bond eventually matures and earns money. -How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trumpet player's car? Take the Domino's pizza sign off the top. -What do you call a lead trumpet player with half a brain? Gifted -How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb? What's a light bulb??? -Why do trumpeters put their instrument on the dashboard of their car? A. To park in handicapped spaces B. What car? -How many trumpet players does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, They just complain about the darkness until a trombone player does it for them. -If you are a stones throw away from a trumpeter, what should you do? Throw stones. -What do you call 20 trumpeters at the bottom of the sea? A good start. -There are two tuba players sitting in a car, who's driving? The policeman. -What's the difference between a trumpet and a jet airplane? About 3 decibels. -What's the best brand for trumpet mutes? Smith and Wesson. -What's the difference between a trumpet and a trampoline? You take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline. -What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians? A drummer -What did little Johnny's mother say to him when he said, "I want to be a trumpet player when I grow up"? "But Johnny, you can't do both." -Why don't you ever see flutists take a breath? Because they already have a vast amount of air in their heads. -How can you tell that the flute section is in tune? Pigs are flying. -You're in a room with Saddam Hussein, Fidel Castro, and a sax player. You have a gun, but only 2 bullets, who do you shoot? Shoot the saxophone player twice, just to be sure. -Did you hear the one about the bass player who got his keys locked in his car? Yeah, it took 2 hours to get the drummer out. -What do you do if you run over a baritone player? Back up and see if he's dead yet. -A van explodes with 4 trumpeters in it, what is the tragedy? You could have fit 8 |
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| -What do you call a good trumpet section? Impossible. -What do you call a trumpet player in public? Suicidal. -What's the difference between the lead trumpet and the last trumpet? I don't know either. -What do you call a terrible trumpet player? Common. -How do you get a trumpet player out of a tree? Cut the noose -How do you get two piccolos to play in unison Shoot one -What's the best way to confuse a drummer? Put a sheet of music in front of Him. -How do you know when a clarinetist has died? The conductor moves him back a chair. -How do you tune a flute? You mean you can tune those things? -How do you turn a flutist into a drummer? Just put another useless stick in their hands. -Why do most people take an instant dislike to the clarinet? It saves time. -Why did Adolph Sax invent the saxophone? He hated mankind but couldn't build an atom bomb. -How do you get a trumpet player to play louder? Who, in all of existance, would want that to happen? -What's the difference between a violin and a viola? A violin burns faster. -What do you call a trumpet player on the street? A beggar -What did the trumpet player get on his IQ test? Drool |
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