| 2002 October 6 Don't move, I've got a gun, not here, but I've got one. -(Ryan Harrison, Wrongfully Accused) November 11 If I had a peanut for every smart thing I've said, I'd have negative peanuts. -(Sam Roe) December 2 If we do not succeed, we run the risk of failure. -(Bill Clinton) 2003 January 7 Rain, sleet, snow or hail, the only thing that can stop a mailman is a sunday. -(Pat Bates) February 4 Dip your squid in formalin, to keep it moist overnight. -(Mr. Cousineau) March 4 It takes a big box to smuggle hippopotamuses. -(Aaron Bush) March 24 It's the dead of winter, you're on vacation, and your goldfish can't sleep with the light on; what you need now is a really good ceiling fan. -(unknown) April 10 If one going to kill oneself, its polite to leave a note, it's just common courtesy. -(Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld) April 14 That's not just cool, that's level 23 of Everquest cool! -(Chris Crawford) April 21 Set goals you don't want to meet; that way when you don't succeed, you're not dissapointed. -(Aaron Bush) April 28 If the number 2 pencil is the most popular kind, why isn't it called the number one? -(unknown) May 6 Crunchatize me Cap'n! -(Lots of kids) May 8 She reached for the axe, but grabbed a live chicken, beat the poor feller half to death before she realized what she had. All that were left were the legs once she was done. -(Henry Fonda, Grapes of Wrath) May 16 You forgot to wind your sundial. -(James Dean, Rebel Without a Cause) June 3 It's time for a little nuclear diplomacy! -(T.J. Detweiler, Recess) June 16 Like a midget in a urinal, I was gonna have to stay on my toes. -(Frank Drebin, Naked Gun 3) Spetember 2 Why, that man has more guts in his little finger than most of us have in our large intestines, INCLUDING THE COLON! -(McCrosky, Airplane 2) September 9 How do they get the non-stick surfacing to stick to the pans? -(Anonymous) October 6 Never pet a flaming dog. -(Andy "Rockin" Schoof) December 1 Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. -(Mel Brooks) 2004 January 7 A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five. -(Groucho Marx) January 20 Poop is where it's at. -(Andy "Rockin" Schoof) a.k.a.(Commander Cool) March 5 Who's givin' blood?... TEDDY'S GIVIN BLOOD! -(Teddy McCarty) March 24 Your luck is like my juice... GONE! -(Mr. Cousineau) |