Did you know why Sardarjis' are called Surds?
Well,there is a scientific, mathematical reason for it.
Here it is!
Assume x = a stupid sardarji, y = an intelligent
sardarji
their complex equation-- x + iy = 0, where x is "real"
and y is "imaginary" and secondary school algebra will
remind you such equations are called surds.
*****************************************************
mother of a sarder wrote......

Pyaarey puttar, 
Vahe Guru. I'm writing this letter slow, because I 
know you cannot read fast. We don't live where we did 
when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that 
most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 
20 miles. 
I won't be able to send the address as the last Sardar 
who stayed here took the house numbers with them for 
their new house so they wouldn't' t have to change 
their address. This place is really nice. It even has 
a washing machine, situated right above the commode. 
I' m not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 
shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. 

The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice 
last week. The first it rained for 3 days and second 
time for 4 days. The coat you wanted me to send you, 
your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send 
in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them 
off and Put them in the pocket. 

Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. 
He is cutting the grass at the cemetery. By the way I 
took bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is a 
badmash. He told her that two-piece swimming suit is 
not allowed in this club. We were confused as to which 
piece should we remove? Your sister had a baby this 
morning. I haven't found out whether it is a girl or a 
boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle. 
Your uncle, Jatinder fell in a nearby well. Some men 
tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely 
and drowned. We Cremated him and he burned for three 
days. Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died 
trying to fulfill his father's last wishes. His father 
had wished to be buried in the sea after he Died. And 
your friend died while in the process of digging a 
grave for his father. There isn't much more news this 
time. 

Nothing much has happened. 
Love 
Mom. 

P.S : I was going to send you some money but the 
envelope was already sealed. 

 *****************************************************
A policeman was interrogating 3 SARDARS who were training 
to become detectives. To test their skills in 
recognizing a suspect, he shows the first SARDAR a 
picture for 5 seconds and then hides it."This is your
suspect, how would you recognize him?"The first SARDAR
answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because
he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well...uh...
that's because the picture I showed is his side 
profile." Slightly flustered by this ridiculous 
response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the 
second SARDAR and asks his, "This is your suspect, how 
would you recognize him?" The second SARDAR smiles, 
flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to 
catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with
you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing 
because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the
best answer you can come up with?" Extremely frustrated
at this point, he shows the picture to the third SARDAR
and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, 
how would you recognize him? He quickly adds, "Think 
hard before giving me a stupid answer." The SARDAR looks
at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The 
suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he 
really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts
or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here 
for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get 
back to you on that." He leaves the room and goes to his
office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and 
comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I 
can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact
wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make
such an astute observation?" "That's easy," the SARDAR 
replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he 
only has one eye and one ear." 
*****************************************************
sardar jokes......... A number of Indians were
 discussing who the most Patriotic Indian citizen
 was. Some said they always saluted the National
 flag wherever were and hence were the most
 patriotic. Others said that whenever they heard
 the national anthem being sung, howsoever faintly,
 they immediately stood at attention. Likewise
 everyone was boasting about how patriotic he/she
 was. A Sardarji from Punjab was keeping mum while
 the discussion happened. Everybody asked him why
 he was so quiet. Some even remarked that the
 Sardarji was not a true patriot and hence had
 nothing to say. Hearing this the Sardarji
 immediately flew into a rage. "I have kept quiet
 till now only because I was felt like crying on
 hearing your foolish talk about patriotism. How
 does it benefit the Nation if you salute the Flag
 or do stand at attention on hearing the national
 anthem? A true patriot should be like me. 365
 days, 24 hours my radio set is tuned to Pakistan
 Radio at full volume". "But how is that a
 patriotic act?" someone asked. The Sardarji
 said, "Arrey you don't understand. If nothing
 else we can at least harm the Pakistanis by
 consuming as much of their electricity as
 possible".

 ---------------------------------

Sardars' Business There were 4 sardars in Mumbai.
 They decided to start a business. After
 considerable discussion they finally decided to
 start a hotel. They selected the best of
 locations and cooks and built the hotel. The
 hotel was inaugurated and was awaiting its first
 customer. The sardars waited and waited but
 nobody turned up. The story was the same the next
 day. A week passed, but nobody turned up. WHY ?
 .......... B'coz there was a sign at the entrance
 "Visitors not allowed" After the failure of their
 hotel they decided to start an auto garage. They
 bought the best of car servicing equipment's and
 soon started the garage. The 4 sardars waited
 that day for the first car to arrive but no car
 entered their garage. They waited for one day, 2
 days, a week but no car came to their garage. WHY
 ? B'coz their garage was on the first floor.
 After this failure they decided to fall back on
 the good old taxi driving. They bought a new
 Premier Padmini running on CNG and began to look
 for passengers. They drew past Churchgate but
 nobody hailed their taxi. They went to Nariman
 point yet nobody hailed their taxi. They drove to
 Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus, even there nobody
 hailed their taxi. In desperation they kept on
 driving all around Mumbai but alas no one hailed
 their taxi. WHY ? B'coz all the four sardars
 were sitting in the taxi!! All the 4 sardars were
 very disgusted with their naseeb and decided to
 push their taxi into the sea at Marine Lines.
 They started pushing their taxi. They pushed the
 whole day and were very exhausted but the taxi did
 not move even an inch. They decided to rest for
 the night and start the next day. The next day
 the story repeated itself. The taxi just wouldn't
 move. They pushed for a whole week but the taxi
 wouldn't budge. WHY ? B'coz two sardarjis were
 pushing from front and two from behind.
 ______________________________________________________
KHALISTAN JOKES

 Khalistan National Drink: Sarbat Khalsa.

 Khalistan National Bird: Tandoori Chicken.

 International Airline: Kitthe Pacific.

 National Airline: Itthe Pacific.

 National Anthem: Sten-a gun-a man-a

 National Taxi Service: Kar Seva.

 National song: Bande marte hum.

 Female terrorist: Hard Kaur.

 National dish: AKALI-DAAL.

 Sikh scuba diver: JULL-UNDER SINGH.

 Better adapted sikh diver: JULLUNDER SINGH GILL.
 _______________________________________________________

 PROFESSOR SARDAR

 Sardar Singh was very keen on doing his Ph.D. He
 was in search of a subject on which no one did any
 research before! As he was thinking over it, he
 found a cockroach on the table in from of him. He
 decided instantly to do a research on the roach.
 He picked the roach and put it in the centre of
 the table and said: "Run". The roach ran. He
 pulled out one leg of the roach, put it again in
 the centre of the table and said: "Run". The
 roach ran. He pulled one more leg of the roach,
 put it again in the centre of the table and said:
 "Run". The roach ran. This way the roach tried
 to run even when it had just one leg. He pulled
 last leg of the roach, put it again in the centre
 of the table and said: Run". The roach could
 not! Our Professor was satisfied with his study
 and started writing his thesis: "When you pull
 out all the legs of a roach, it cannot hear
 anymore".
 ______________________________________________________
Mr. Jaswanth singh went to a grocery stores
 collected the grocery and came to the counter and
 person at the counter started preparing bill for
 the items. Singh asked " Where is the fat ?" ,
 person didn't understand what singh was saying and
 said " Excuse me sir, FAT???" Sardar : "Yes Fat,
 Give me the fat" Sardar started shouting and
 arguing with the person and all people gathered
 and Manager of that grocery stores came there and
 asked sardar about the problem. Then sardar said,
 Hey Manager! Look, I took a yogurt from your
 stores and it was written "FAT FREE" on that but
 this guy is not giving me the fat.
 _______________________________________________________

 In a party one of Zail Singh's friends asked him
 How many chappathis he could eat in an empty
 stomach. Zail replied "Seven". Then his friend
 told him "When U eat the first chappathi your
 stomach is no longer empty .Then how can U eat
 seven ??". Zail was impressed by this tricky
 question. So as soon as he went back home he
 asked his wife " How many chappathis can you eat
 in an empty stomach ??". She replied "Five".
 Then Zail told " Shit!! If only you had told
 seven I had a nice reply for it"
 _______________________________________________________

 One day sardarji decides that he is fed up of
 Sardarji being called fools. So he decides to
 fool the others and show them that they too are
 fools. Our friend goes to the top of Kutubminar
 in delhi and peeps down from the top with a lot of
 interest. Somebody taps him on the back and asks,
 "Sardarji what r u looking" our freind replies
 "sssssshhhhhhh, Stand in the line.." After
 sometime ,somebody asks the same question to the
 second guy and he gives the same reply. This goes
 on . After a while our freind sees that the line
 has reached the bottom of kutubinar. So he feels
 very happy that he has succeeded in fooling so
 many people & decides to tell turn back. He does
 so , and... HE SEES A LINE OF SARDARJI'S ALL THE
 WAY TO THE BOTTOM
 _____________________________________________________
Four Sardarji's were waiting a on Railway Platform
 for the "Punjab Mail". As they were waiting an
 announcement is made about the train running late
 by two hours. The train scheduled to start at 10
 am will now start at 12 noon. Since there is lots
 of time to kill the four sardarjis decide to go
 out into the city to spend the time. When they
 get back to the station they see "Punjab Mail"
 just leaving the platform.So sardarjis start
 running desperately to board the train.. One
 ofthem manages to catch the 6th boggie Another got
 almost the last boggie and the other two got left
 behind. When the two Sardarji 's who managed to
 get into the train met each other in one of the
 bogies they started laughing uncontrollably. They
 go on laughing .....laughing ....and laughing.
 Now the other passengers get bit curious and one
 of them asked the Sardarji's .... "Arre, what's
 so funny ? Why are you both laughing so madly?
 One of the Sardarji's managed to reply " Actually
 the two who were supposed to take this train got
 left behind......we ....just came to see them off
 !!!!!!!!!!"

 _______________________________________________________

 A sardarji is standing on platform no.1 waiting
 for the punjab mail toarrive. There is an
 anouncement "Passengers to note.. Train no 234 dn
 Punjab mail from New Delhi will be arriving on
 `platform` no.1 shortly." Hearing this sardarji
 gets panicky..He immediately picked up his
 baggage, jumped on to the railway track and stood
 there..
 _______________________________________________________

 Sardarji is not sleeping with his wife these days
 because somebody had told him that it is wrong to
 sleep with married women..
 _______________________________________________________

 Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City
 to Toronto, the captain announced, "Ladies and
 gentlemen, one of our engines has failed.. There
 is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take
 an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have
 three engines left." Thirty minutes later the
 captain announced, "One more engine has failed and
 the flight will take an additional two hours. But
 don't worry ... we can fly just fine on two
 engines." An hour later the captain announced,
 "One more engine has failed and our arrival will
 be delayed another three hours. But don't worry
 .. we still have one engine left." A sardarji
 passenger turned to the man in the next seat and
 remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up
 here all day!"
 _______________________________________________________

 Diana murder mystery solved The latest theory is
 that the driver of the Mercedes, Henri Paul, was
 actually a sardar whose family migrated to France
 when he was 3 yrs old. His name was Harvinder
 Singh Pal, and later he changed it to Henri Paul.
 But what is in a name, after all ! Once a surd,
 always a surd !

 And so when the Paparazzi chasing the car shouted
 Diana, Diana , at 80 mph , Harvinder tried to take
 a right turn.( daina right in hindi ...........
 The rest, as they say, is history
 !!....................)
 _______________________________________________________
Santa and Banta Singh were bitter enemies. Santa
 lived on the 1st and Banta on the 7th floor of the
 same building. One day the lift was out of order
 and Banta Singh decided to play a trick on Santa
 and called him for dinner to his house at 7:30 pm.
 So Santa huffing and puffing manages to reach the
 7th floor. To his dismay he finds a big lock on
 the door and a message - 'HA HA ULLU BANA DIA!'
 Santa is angry but thinks a lot and finally writes
 his reply below Banta's message - 'MAIN TO YAHAN
 AAYA HI NAHIN THA!!'
 _______________________________________________________

 Santa used to work in a saw-mill. He was in
 hospital after he lost his arm in an accident.
 Banta was visiting him in the hospital. Banta:
 "It was really bad that you lost your hand.
 However thank Wahe Guru that it was your left
 hand, since you are right handed." Santa: "It
 is also because of my quick thinking. Actually
 it was the right hand which was going to be
 caught in the machine. Then I realised that I
 am right handed and so switched hands just in
 time!

 _______________________________________________________

  There was a Sardarji who was down on his luck. In
 order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a
 kid and hold him for ransom. He went to the
 playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree,
 and told him, "I've kidnapped you." The Sardarji
 then wrote a note saying: "I've kidnapped your
 kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag
 & put it beneath the mango tree next to the slide
 on the north side of the city play ground".
 Signed, "A Sardarji". The Sardarji then pinned
 the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to
 show it to his parents. The next morning the
 Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was
 sitting beneath the mango tree. The Sardarji
 opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a
 note saying, "How could you do this to a fellow
 Sardarji ?!"
 _______________________________________________________
The Train Driver One train which was going
 peacefully on the rail-tracks suddenly deviated
 from the tracks and went to the fields nearby and
 then came back on the tracks. The passengers were
 horrified. On the next Railway station the driver
 was caught : He was found to be a Sardar. When
 he was questioned. He explained that there was a
 man standing on the track and he was not moving
 from there even after lots of honks etc . Then
 authorities questioned : Sardarji are you mad!
 just to save life of one person you put life of so
 many passengers under danger. You should have run
 over that person . Sardar said : Exactly, that
 is what I also decided, but this idiot started
 running towards the field when the train came very
 close.
 ______________________________________________________

 The Graffiti Santa Singh was walking on the road
 and paused to read the graffiti on the wall. It
 read "Padne waala gadha." (one who reads this is
 an ass) Santa Singh sat on a nearby bench, and
 after much thought erased it and wrote "Likhne
 waala Ghadah". (One who wrote this is an ass)


 ______________________________________________________

 Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One
 of them was crying like anything. So the other
 asked,"Why are you crying?" The first one
 replied, "I came here for blood test" Second one
 asked,"So? Are you afraid?" First one
 replied,"No, not that. During the blood test they
 cut my finger" Hearing this the second one started
 crying.The first one was astonished and asked
 other, "Why are you crying?" The other replied,"I
 have come for my urine test."

 ****************************************************

 There were these three guys, a surd, an Italian,
 and a Jewish guy.They all worked together at a
 factory. Everyday they notice that theirboss
 leaves work a little early. So one day they meet
 together and say that today when the bossleaves,
 they'll all leave early too. The boss left and so
 did they. The Jewish guy goes home and goes to
 rest so he can get an early start. TheItalian guy
 goes home and cooks dinner. Our Banta goes home
 and walks to his bedroom.... He opens the door
 slowly and sees his boss opening his safe and shoving
 all the jewelery and valuables into a large sack..!
 He shuts the door and hurries out of the house!
 The next day the Italian and Jewish guys are
 talking and plan to go home early again. They ask
 Banta if he wants to leave early againand he
 says,"no." They ask him why not and he says,
 "because yesterday I almost got caught."

 **************************************************

 There's a funeral procession of a sardar going
 on a busy street. Allthe sardars in the 'mayyat'
 are dancing the bhangra and singing and general
 'balle balle' is on. The people on the street
 find it strange that instead of mourning everyone
 is celebrating as if its a marriagebaarat. So one
 of them asks Santa Singh, "Singh saab, aapka koi
 sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach raheho?"
 ..... comes the reply, "Ha ji ! Hai hi baat bade
 khushi ki !!! Aaj paheli baar ek sardar *brain*
 tumour se mara hai !!!!"

 *************************************************
 Santa Singh applied for an engineering position at
 an MNC office in Amritsar. Reddy from Chennai
 applied for the same job and both applicants
 having the same qualifications were asked to take
 a test by the Department manager.Upon completion
 of the test, the results showed that both men only
 missed one of the questions. The manager went to
 Santa and said, "Thank you for your interest, but
 we've decided to give the job to Reddy".Santa:
 "And why would you be doing that? We both got 9
 questions correct. This being Punjab I should get
 the job!" Manager: "We have made our decision
 not on the correct answers, but on the one
 question that you got wrong." Santa: "And just
 how would one incorrect answer be better than the
 other?" Manager: "Simple, for the question that
 both of you got wrong, Reddy put down 'I don't
 know' as the answer. And you wrote 'Neither do I'!"

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