***********LALOO'S VISIT TO AMERICA***********
Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was
huge rush the security guard told Laloo "WAIT PLEASE"
for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved on...
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Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas. So he called up the
Tourist department and asked them "Ji..could you tell me the time difference between
Patna and Las Begas...".
The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo immediately replies "thank you" and puts the phone down.
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At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." And the man's companion says,
"JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?" Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."
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Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar. The Japanese Emissary was quite
impressed with Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we
will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan.".
Laloo was very surprised, he stated "You Japanese are very inepicient, Give me three days and I
will turn Japan into the next Bihar!"
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Bill Clinton decided to 'teach' Laloo English, so he invited him over to the US.
Laloo arrives in full grandeur. Bill announces to the nation that they should not be disturbed during the tuition
inside the Whitehouse, they are locked up in a room, and Bill starts teaching Laloo
English. Days pass by and weeks pass by, but there is no sign of them coming out.The whole country and its economy has come
to a standstill, and press, newsreporters from all over the world are waiting outside eagerly
to find the outcome. At last one day, the door opens, and out comes Laloo - beaming his
resplendent white smile, looking cool and unruffled. However, Bill looks totally dazed, his clothes are torn, his
hair is completely ruffled, and he has scratch marks all over his face. The shocked reporters ask Bill, "What
happened Mr. Clinton ?"
Bill replies : "Ee babua hamar kuch bhi naahi sunat hai !"
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***Bill Gates and Laloo's Meeting***
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" Conversation between Bill Gates and our very own Laloo of Bihar "
Gates : Namaskar! you must have heard of Windows.
Laloo : Oh yes! most govt. offices we have the single window clearance concept.
Gates : At home have u installed Windows?
Laloo : I have removed all windows due to increased burglaries in our house.
Gates(Confused): Then what is the system you operate on?
Laloo : OPERATION? Yes, I had a Hernia operation last month.
Gates(Sweating) : Hope the internet is being used a lot in India.
Laloo: Oh Yes! Due to increased mosquito problems many people are sleeping under the net.
Gates: By the year 2000 India should export computer chips.
Laloo: We are already exporting Uncle Chips.
Gates(Feeling very Uneasy): do you regularly use LapTops?
Laloo: My grand-child sleeps on the top of my lap.
Gates(Heavily Sweating): The Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh knows a lot about RAM and ROM.
Laloo : RUM? Prohibition is being lifted and it will be shortly available in A.P..
Gates(Feeling Dizzy): I would like to take your leave before my system crashes.
Laloo: I have exhausted all my leave.
Gates: I have no energy left, let us go out and have a bite.
Laloo: BITE? I believe in non-violence. I will not bite.
Gates: (System Crashes and Found Missing).
"Windows is restarting.Please wait............."
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Laloos family planning policy.. "DONT HAVE MORE THAN TWO CHILDREN IN ONE YEAR"
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After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to go modeling. Once he enters the herd of
buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo.
Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper. GUESS THE CAPTION !!
"Laloo, third from left!"
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After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite sometime, Laloo proudly shows off the
finished puzzle to a friend. "It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT," Laloo brags.
"FIVE MONTHS? THAT'S TOO LONG." the friend exclaims. "YOU ARE A FOOL". Laloo replies. "SEE
THIS NOTE, IT READS-"FOR 4-7 YRS".
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Once Laloo and a sardar were sitting in a room for a written interview test.
Both of them got 9 answers right out of 10. After a long time The M.D of the company decides to appoint the sardar on duty.
Laloo argues with the M.D on his conclusion to appoint the sardar. Laloo says, we both got the same marks,
so why did you select Him ?
The M.D answers, both of you were unable to answer the last question wrong.
Further he says that theSardar answered that he didn’t knew the answer and you
Answered NEITHER DO I..........
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