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| Jerry Springer In Warhammer 40,000
In the dark future of the 41st millenia, there is only bad T.V. . . Jerry Springer: �Ok everybody, today�s show is about worshippers of Chaos and the women who love them. Please welcome our first guest, Sister Chastity of the Holy Order of the Slain Virgin. Sister, welcome to our show.� Chastity: �Thank you Jerry� Jerry Springer: � Now Chastity, our producers have told us that you have been seeing someone for quite some time now.� Chastity: �Yes. He name is Falthus, and he is a member of the Emperor�s Children.� Audience: �BOOOOOOOOO!� Jerry Springer:: �Now wait a minute audience. Chastity, isn�t the Emperor�s Children one of Our Most Holy Emperor�s finest Space Marine Legions?� Chastity: (holding back the tears)�Well, it was, but now that they have fallen from grace�oh, he just sits around the fortress all day and melts people down into drugs! I won�t even tell you what he wants me to do in bed now *sob*.� Audience: �Awwwwww�� Jerry Springer: �Well, let's bring him out.� A Space marine in pink armor with leopard skin tights stumbles onto stage: �All hail our Lord and God Slaanesh!� Audience: �Boo!� Jerry Springer: �Now now, quite down. Falthus, welcome to the show. Chastity has been telling us there have been some troubles in paradise..� Falthus: �Well, there wouldn�t be any trouble if she would grovel at the feet of our merciless tormentor like I tell her to.� Chastity: �My love is only for the Emperor!� Falthus: �Yeah, that�s why he prostituted your order to the Adeptus Astartes!� Chastity: "Oh, go find someone else to wear lobster claws for you!" *sob* Audience: �Ooooooooooooooooo!� Jerry Springer: �Well, Falthus, Chastity has told us that she has something to tell you. So I'll just step aside and let her say it.� Chastity: �Falthus, you know my love for you is second only to the Emperor, but�well, there is someone else�.� Falthus: �What? Who the hell is it!?!� Jerry Springer: �Let�s bring out Henrik the Enraged, Mighty Champion of Khorne!� A smashing sound is heard as half the stage set falls to the whirling blade of a chain axe. �You are a punk Falthus. Chastity wants a real man, not some whinny little musician and drug addict!� Falthus: �You punk a** B****!� The audience begins to trample each other to get out of the way of the horrible battle that ensues. Written by David Mauceli |