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| Imperial subjects have roamed this site |
| ++40K FUNNIES++ |
| And now for something completely different... Some Crazy Chaos Stuff
Battlecry of the Word Bearers: "How much word could a word bearer bear if a word bearer could bear words?" Heard on many planets: "If Slaanesh is the lord of sexual pleasure, how come it's Tzeentch who's got a thousand sons?" Death Guard Motto: "A sickness a day keeps the Imperials away, and death at bay, or so they say." Now showing in movie theatres in the Eye of Terror, the award-winning documentary/horror/action-movie: "Children of the Khorne" Iron Warriors at the beach: - My sandcastle is bigger than yours! - No it isn't! - Yes it is, and it has lascannons here and here, and these are missile lauchers! - Well mine's got that aswell, and a moat full of skulls and barbed wire! - Your lascannons aren't placed at the right spots! What if the enemy attacked here? Or here? Or put heavy fire on this wall? You'd have to concentrate the fire on that area over by the sea-shell , while your terminators got into position over by that piece of seaweed. And barbed wire placed over there isn’t gonna slow the enemy down! You’ve gotta put another turret on this spot here, next to the dead starfish, and have warriors standing ready over here in case of a breakthrough. And what if that crab over there assaulted this wall? I'd suggest a squad of... Heard in Slaaneshi camp: "Hey, let's dump this feminine trash and go be a bit macho! AHAHAHAHAHA! I crack myself up..." The Thousand Sons have always suffered two problems: They're all brothers, and none of them have visible bodies... Thousand Son 1: Yo bro! Thousand Son 2: Hi! Thousand Son 3: Hi! Thousand Son 2: Hey, he was talkin' to me! Thousand Son 3: No, he was talkin to ME! Thousand Son 4: No, me! Thousand Son 5: Me! Thousand Son 6: Me! Me! Thousand Son 2 Tell 'em, Hydraxus! You meant me, right? Thousand Son 3: You meant me, didn't you, Hydraxus? Thousand Son 7: I'm not Hydraxus! I was talkin to my brother over here! Thousand Son 8: Who, me? Thousand Son 9: No! You were talkin to me, weren't you, Malevolus? Thousand Son 1: I'm not Malevolus! I'm Hydraxus! Tau Water Caste Leader: "Those big guys in black armour are a bit tough, aren't they. I will go and negociate a treaty with their commander. It is that guy in that large armour, with the long sword and the big claw, right? How do they call him, Aba...?" The most feared day for Space Wolves: Newtering day. Most anticipated day for Dark Angels: Laundry day. Things you don't wanna hear when you're in the Imperial Guard: "We're outta ammo?" "CHARGE!!!" "Khorne Beserkers good fighters? Us Cadians can handle them!" "You mean you FORGOT the Leman Russes?" "Why are the Dark Angels surrounding us?" "Welcome to the Cata- PRIVATE!!!! THERE'S A WRINKLE IN YOUR BANDANA!!!! IRON IT OUT, THEN GIVE ME 500 LAPS AROUND THE BASE!!" "Funny, the Ogryns don't smell as bad when dead." "Hey, a grenade without a pin!" "You just had to forget the gas for the chimera, didn't you?" "You know, guys...Chaos isn't SO bad" "Fix bayonets!" "Whaddya mean orbital bombardment?" "We missed our shooting phase?" "Hey, Sarge, this thing just fell out of the sky, it's all fleshy and squishy, and there are scratching noises inside." Colonel: "We're gonna die! We should all flee!" Commissar: "Just this once, I agree with you!" "Extermina-what?" "Hehe, that's a good practical joke, plugging the tank's guns... let's stay really close to it so we can see the looks on their faces!" "Our regiment has been assigned to fight in the Third Armageddon War? Sounds fun!" "Sweet! And I get to be one of them? Man, this is so cool! I can't wait! Hey, what are the Last Chancers anyway?" "Boy, I hope those artillery guys got the right coordinates..." "Hah! Those Chaos dopes spelled 'surrender' with only one R!" "I'm your new commanding officer. Now, this is my first command, so go easy on me, okay?" "See? Lasguns can take anything. Drop it, throw it in the swamp, use it as a club, and it still...uh oh." "Well, we're low on ammo, our radio's busted, and we've got genestealers coming in on all sides. Let's charge them!"And now for something completely different... Some Crazy Chaos Stuff Battlecry of the Word Bearers: "How much word could a word bearer bear if a word bearer could bear words?" Heard on many planets: "If Slaanesh is the lord of sexual pleasure, how come it's Tzeentch who's got a thousand sons?" Death Guard Motto: "A sickness a day keeps the Imperials away, and death at bay, or so they say." Now showing in movie theatres in the Eye of Terror, the award-winning documentary/horror/action-movie: "Children of the Khorne" Iron Warriors at the beach: - My sandcastle is bigger than yours! - No it isn't! - Yes it is, and it has lascannons here and here, and these are missile lauchers! - Well mine's got that aswell, and a moat full of skulls and barbed wire! - Your lascannons aren't placed at the right spots! What if the enemy attacked here? Or here? Or put heavy fire on this wall? You'd have to concentrate the fire on that area over by the sea-shell , while your terminators got into position over by that piece of seaweed. And barbed wire placed over there isn’t gonna slow the enemy down! You’ve gotta put another turret on this spot here, next to the dead starfish, and have warriors standing ready over here in case of a breakthrough. And what if that crab over there assaulted this wall? I'd suggest a squad of... Heard in Slaaneshi camp: "Hey, let's dump this feminine trash and go be a bit macho! AHAHAHAHAHA! I crack myself up..." The Thousand Sons have always suffered two problems: They're all brothers, and none of them have visible bodies... Thousand Son 1: Yo bro! Thousand Son 2: Hi! Thousand Son 3: Hi! Thousand Son 2: Hey, he was talkin' to me! Thousand Son 3: No, he was talkin to ME! Thousand Son 4: No, me! Thousand Son 5: Me! Thousand Son 6: Me! Me! Thousand Son 2 Tell 'em, Hydraxus! You meant me, right? Thousand Son 3: You meant me, didn't you, Hydraxus? Thousand Son 7: I'm not Hydraxus! I was talkin to my brother over here! Thousand Son 8: Who, me? Thousand Son 9: No! You were talkin to me, weren't you, Malevolus? Thousand Son 1: I'm not Malevolus! I'm Hydraxus! Tau Water Caste Leader: "Those big guys in black armour are a bit tough, aren't they. I will go and negociate a treaty with their commander. It is that guy in that large armour, with the long sword and the big claw, right? How do they call him, Aba...?" The most feared day for Space Wolves: Newtering day. Most anticipated day for Dark Angels: Laundry day. Things you don't wanna hear when you're in the Imperial Guard: "We're outta ammo?" "CHARGE!!!" "Khorne Beserkers good fighters? Us Cadians can handle them!" "You mean you FORGOT the Leman Russes?" "Why are the Dark Angels surrounding us?" "Welcome to the Cata- PRIVATE!!!! THERE'S A WRINKLE IN YOUR BANDANA!!!! IRON IT OUT, THEN GIVE ME 500 LAPS AROUND THE BASE!!" "Funny, the Ogryns don't smell as bad when dead." "Hey, a grenade without a pin!" "You just had to forget the gas for the chimera, didn't you?" "You know, guys...Chaos isn't SO bad" "Fix bayonets!" "Whaddya mean orbital bombardment?" "We missed our shooting phase?" "Hey, Sarge, this thing just fell out of the sky, it's all fleshy and squishy, and there are scratching noises inside." Colonel: "We're gonna die! We should all flee!" Commissar: "Just this once, I agree with you!" "Extermina-what?" "Hehe, that's a good practical joke, plugging the tank's guns... let's stay really close to it so we can see the looks on their faces!" "Our regiment has been assigned to fight in the Third Armageddon War? Sounds fun!" "Sweet! And I get to be one of them? Man, this is so cool! I can't wait! Hey, what are the Last Chancers anyway?" "Boy, I hope those artillery guys got the right coordinates..." "Hah! Those Chaos dopes spelled 'surrender' with only one R!" "I'm your new commanding officer. Now, this is my first command, so go easy on me, okay?" "See? Lasguns can take anything. Drop it, throw it in the swamp, use it as a club, and it still...uh oh." "Well, we're low on ammo, our radio's busted, and we've got genestealers coming in on all sides. Let's charge them!" |