At Carleton, it takes two. One to change the bulb and one more to explain
how
they did it every bit as well as any Ivy Leaguer.
At Hamline, it takes three. One to change the bulb and two to phone
a friend
at St. John's to get instructions.
At Macalester, it takes four. One to screw in the bulb and three to
figure out
how to get high off the old one.
At St. Mary's, it takes five. One to change it and four to talk about
how they
would have done it in Chicago.
At Gustavus, it takes six. One to change it, two to mix the drinks and
three
to find the perfect "J. Crew" outfit to wear for the occasion.
At Augsburg, it takes seven and each one gets four semester credit hours
for
it.
At St. Thomas, it takes eight. One to change it and 7 to bitch about
how they
wouldn't have gone to St. John's/St. Ben's even if they could have
gotten in.
At Concordia, it takes ten. One to figure out how to screw it in, nine
to see
if the light reflects well off their rings.
At St. Olaf, it takes 100. One to change it, 49 to talk about how they
do it
better than Carleton, and 50 who realize it's all a lie.
At Bethel, it takes none. They don't screw.
At St. John's, it takes 3, one to change the light bulb and 2 to get
behind
him when he drops it and has to bend over.
At St. Ben's, it takes 4, one to change the light bulb and 3 to figure
out how
it will help them meet their future husband.
At Minnesota State-Mankato, it takes 1, but it takes him 6 years.
At St. Cloud State,"who gives a shit..order another keg..let's drink"
At Winona State, it takes 3, if they're lucky one of them has taken
the course
at Rochester Community College.
At Moorhead State, it takes 3, one to change it and 2 to crack under
the
pressure.
At Bemidji State, none, Bemidji doesn't have electricity yet.
At Minnesota-Duluth, the whole student body, there's nothing else to
do in
Duluth on the weekends.
At Minnesota-Morris, it takes 1, he just holds the bulb and waits for
the
world to revolve around him.
At the Minnesota-St Paul, none, downtown St. Paul looks better in the dark.
At the Minnesota-Twin Cities, Four...one to change the bulb, and three
to
write up a complaint to the Board of directors stating that they could
have
gone to a better school if they had wanted.