Sparkle and Fade
©1995
1.)Electra Made Me Blind
Shake that dust from the small town
I turn and follow the western wind down
Go and pack up my shiny things
And go, yeah just go
I'll find a new life in old L.A.
Yeah, stupid happy with everything
I pulled myself down so easily
I know, I know
Met Electra when livin' down
Saw her spinnin' around and around
Never knew much about her past
I knew enough that I didn't ask
I know, I know
Livin' isn't a simple thing, I know
No one said it's supposed to be, I know
Livin' isn't a simple thing, I know
No one said it's supposed to be
I know, I know
Livin' isn't a simple thing, I know
No one said it's supposed to be, I know
Livin' isn't a simple thing for me
I know ways to make it easier
I know
July, she lied
July, July, July
Livin' isn't a simple thing, I know
No one said it's supposed to be
Livin' isn't a simple thing for me
I know ways to make it easier
2.)Heroin Girl
I used to know a girl
She had two pierced nipples and a black tattoo
We'd drink that Mexican beer
We'd live on Mexican food
Yeah, I wish I could go back
Yes, back in time
Esther used to be the kind of girl that you would never leave
She'd do anything to give me what I need for my disease
She'd do anything
I can hear them talking in the real world
Yeah, but they don't understand
That I'm happy in hell with my heroin girl
Yeah, with a heroin girl
Esther used to be the kind of lover you would never leave
She'd do anything to give me what I need for my disease
She'd do anything
I can hear them talking in the real world
Yeah, but they don't understand
That I'm losing myself in a white trash hell
Lost inside a heroin girl
Yeah, with a heroin girl
They found her out in the field about a mile from home
Her face was warm from the sun but her body was cold
I heard a policeman say "Just another overdose"
Just another overdose!
Esther used to be the kind of lover you would never leave
She'd do anything to give me what I need for my disease
She would do anything
3.)You Make Me Feel Like a Whore
I take your word like it was gospel, I'm so eager to please
Yeah I like it when you talk to me
It feels so good inside your shadow, it's the place I need to be
Yeah you know I need to climb you like a tree
There is this place inside
Where all the good things die
Sometimes I feel like a whore
Sometimes I feel like a whore
I hate the way I am around you, I'm so nervous and weird
Sometimes I feel like I'm breathing underwater
You treat me like I am on fire, like I'm something to eat
You make me hate what I see when I see me
Yeah I dream of the day when I learn how to make you pay
Someday I'll teach you to beg, someday, someday
Yes I live for the day when I can hear you say
You make me feel like a whore
Yes I dream of the time when I can make you mine
Maybe then I'll feel half alive, more alive, so alive
There is this place inside
Where all the good things die
You make me feel like a whore
4.)Santa Monica
I am still livin' with your ghost
Lonely and dreaming of the west coast
I don't wanna be your downtime
I don't wanna be your stupid game
With my big black boots and an old suitcase
I do believe I'll find myself a new place
I don't wanna be the bad guy
I don't wanna do your sleepwalk dance anymore
I just wanna see some palm trees
I will try and shake away this disease
We can live beside the ocean
Leave the fire behind
Swim out past the breakers
Watch the world die
I am still dreamin' of your face
Hungry and hollow for all the things you took away
I don't wanna be your good time
I don't wanna be your fallback crutch anymore
Walk right out into a brand new day
Insane and rising in my own weird way
I don't wanna be the bad guy
I don't wanna do your sleepwalk dance anymore
I just wanna feel some sunshine
I just wanna find some place to be alone
We can live beside the ocean
Leave the fire behind
Swim out past the breakers
Watch the world die
Yeah watch the world die
5.)Summerland
Let's just drive your car
We could drive all day
Let's just get the hell away from here
For I am sick again
Just plain sick to death
Of the sound of my own voice
We could leave behind
Another wasted year
Get some cheap red wine and just go flying
We could do the things, all the things you wanted to
No one cares about us anyway
We could do the things, all the things you wanted to
No one cares about us anyway
I think I lost my smile
I think you lost yours too
We have lost the power to make each other laugh
Let's just leave this place
And go to Summerland
Just a name on the map, sounds like heaven to me
We could find a town, be just how we wanna be
No one here really cares about us anyway
We could find a place, make it what we want it to be
No one really gives a fuck about us anyway
We could live, live just how we wanna live
No one here really cares about us anyway
We could be everything we wanna be
We could get lost in the fall glimmer sparkle and fade
The sparkle and fade
Fall glimmer sparkle and fade
Forget about our jobs at the record store
Forget about all the losers that we know
Forget about all the memories that keep you down
Forget about them, we can lose them in the sparkle and fade
Fade
We can leave them behind in the sparkle and fade
Yeah sparkle and fade
Fall glimmer sparkle and fade
6.)Strawberry
Now
Never been here
Never coming back
Never wanna think about the things that happened today
Wanna lay down
On the warm ground
Think I'm gonna need
A little time to myself
Don't fall down now
You will never get up
Don’t fall down now
I ask you for a slow ride
Going nowhere
You look like Satan
You ask me if I wanna get high
Couple of bags down in old town
You tie your arm
Ask me if I wanted to drive
Don't fall down now
You will never get up
Don't fall down now
That last thing I recall
I was in the air
I woke up in the street
Crawling with my strawberry burns
Ten long years in a straight line
They fall like water
Yes I guess I fucked up again
Don't fall down now
You will never get up
Don't fall down now
7.)Heartspark Dollarsign
Time stops when the whispers blare
The voices drop hard, but the eyes still stare
The world resolves into a death's head grin
'Cause I walk with pride with a black girlfriend
My mom said not to bring her around
'Cause she's black my family would put her down
I'll break the white trash ties that bind
Trade a love so pure for a hate so blind
She said, she said
Forget the fact that I don't look like you
She said, she said
You're possessed with a power
Bigger than the pain
Time stops when we lie so close
In my room where we share what no one knows
From the day that we start 'til the day that we end
I know I know I know now
We will never find a place where we can just fit in
Me and my black girlfriend
She said, she said
Fend for yourself, you're alone
She said, she said
You're possessed with a power
Bigger than the pain
Oh, a power bigger than the pain
A power bigger than the pain
Heartspark Dollarsign
Heartspark Dollarsign
8.)The Twistinside
We have been sleeping with the lights on
Just about every night
'Cause we are afraid
Of what the dark might bring
I know, I know
It's just a childish fear
Grows and grows
Wild in the middle of me
Gonna get a new tattoo
Black and stretching around my arm
Like a life that is visible and real
I know, I know
Stupid and immature
I just want to give shape to the face
That twists inside both you and me
Breathing fire doesn't look good on a resume
Neither does anything else we do
Gotta get ready for the real world
Yeah yeah, we gotta grow up
You know I like to die for a while
Every day in the afternoon
I like to let the arms of a bar wrap around me tight
Just gonna sprawl in the front booth
Big drink above my head
Cross eyed and smiling as I watch the world go twisting by
I don't wanna die with you
Or live in the same dark room
I don't want to see your bloodshot eyes no more, no more
I just wanna take this girl
All curls and big brown eyes
Man I can't shake the pain of wanting her, needing her
I know the secret of your soul
And I just don't wanna know
Yeah man we gotta grow up
Yeah we gotta grow up
9.)Her Brand New Skin
She is everywhere I am
Yeah when I don't want her to be there
I kinda wanna leave in a hurry
Walkin' on the city
Heavy with her monster boots
I hear her calling my name
I hide behind the people that I wanna be
I hear her calling my name
I can see the future when she tells me how it's gonna be
She is perpetual Kathy
All shake and happy in her brand new skin
She is perpetual Kathy
She is always the same
She is everything that I'm not
Strong and happy with the sound of the rhythm inside
I do not want to be a broken record
But I don't wanna live in the shadow of a twelve-step
I hear her calling my name
Next thing you know I think I'll want to be a better man
I hear her calling my name
Yeah, I used to be a devil but they never seemed to give a damn
She is perpetual Kathy
All shake and happy in her brand new skin
She is perpetual Kathy
She is always the same
She is always the same
10.)Nehalem
There is this rumor about
They say you're leaving Nehalem
Ever since our baby died
You've been seen with another guy
The whole damn town is talking now
They say you're leaving Nehalem
Hey don't you want me to go?
Hey don't you want me to go?
Hey don't you want me to go?
Hey don't you want me?
They say you're losing your mind
They say you're leaving Nehalem
You know how the bad words get around
Big noise in a hard small town
Tell me if you want me to go
Tell me if you want me to go
Tell me if you want me to go
Tell me if you want me
They say you're leaving Nehalem
They say you're leaving Nehalem
They say you're leaving Nehalem
They say you're leaving me
Yeah I know you need to break away
I don't give a fuck about what those people say
I hope you find everywhere you go
All the good things that you need to know
They say you're losing your mind
They say you're leaving Nehalem
They say you're leaving me
They say you're leaving Nehalem
There is this rumor out
They say you're leaving Nehalem
They say you're leaving me
They say you're leaving Nehalem
I know you're leaving me
I know you're leaving Nehalem
I know you're leaving me
11.)Queen of the Air
There is a dream I used to have
My dream swallowed me whole
There is a bridge where I hate to go
That is where I first saw her
High on the bridge I seen her red hair shining
There is a girl I never knew
She was my Aunt Virginia
They said that she, she just disappeared
They said I look just like her
High on the bridge I seen her, dancing waving to me there
She smiled and raised her head
Then she took to the air
There is a dream I can't escape
My memories come back to me
There is a hell that I can't escape
My memories come back to me
I heard the truth about it
Pictures and headlines hidden away
I heard the truth about my real mom
Jumping from the bridge that day
Now I know why ever since I was three years old
I've been having the same nightmare
Now I know the truth about Virginia
Why she took to the air
12.)Pale Green Stars
Amanda is in love with the sight of the moon
She's got pale green stars in her room
Right above her bed
Put them on the ceiling
Leave on the light
When the sun goes down then the stars might shine
Shinin' in the dark
Skinny little girl in her room alone
She's got hell to spare in her home
If you can call it a home
She doesn't want to be like anybody else
When no one is around she talks to herself
I can hear her in the night
Hey, hey yeah
Hey, hey yeah
It's hard on a girl
When the blood won't come when it ought to come
It's hard on a girl
When you try to walk around on the shaky ground
Hey, hey
Daddy's going away
Scared little girl watching Aladdin on TV
Amanda always cries when you yell at me
Yeah, please don't yell at me
Climb up all the stairs, close the door
Doesn't want to hear us fighting anymore
Yeah, better call it a day
Hey, hey yeah
Hey, hey yeah
It's so hard on a young girl
She thinks it's all her fault when it all goes wrong
It's hard on a grown man too
To see my baby crying at the window calling out my name
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Daddy's going away
She's got pale green stars in her room
13.)Chemical Smile
She lost her focus yesterday
She lost her focus in the sun
She sits and stares at it for hours
She says she likes to go outside
She gets hung up on the wind
She gets lost inside the happy noise
Sometimes I don't understand her
Sometimes I don't want to understand her
She says no, no, no, no, no, no
She don't want no double life
She says I should know why
She seems happier at night
Her color TV and her chemical smile
I don't wanna know the reason
I don't wanna know the reason
I don't wanna know the reason why
She says, she says, she says, she says, she says
Jesus owes her money
She says, she says, she says, she says, she says
The angels are her friends
What the hell does that mean?
She's got the chemical smile
Yeah she's got a chemical smile
Yeah she's got the chemical smile
Baby's got a chemical smile
She says, she says
14.) My Sexual Life
People you know will try to tell you things
Bad things that you don't want to know about
Tell you tomorrow what you did today
Just remember it's a small town
It's a real small town
She gets tired of all the stupid boys
She can't wait until they're done
She wants a man who can take his time
She wants someone who can make her come
Yeah, can you make me come
You always say you want a simple life
You and me both know that you are a liar
You always say you want a simple life
Hearing you talk just makes me tired
Swim in the heavy water, buried in the sand
Happy hearts fall from my shaky hands
I can't hide my sexual life
He always says he wants a special one
But you watch his head go spinning around
He really wants anyone who'll give it up
He seems to forget he's in a small town
You always say you never fuck around
You said this town is just plain full of liars
Yeah you always say you never fuck around
Hey, hearing you talk just makes me tired
Swimming in the heavy water, buried in the sand
Happy hearts fall from my shaky hands
I can't hide my sexual life
No, no
I can't hide my sexual life
Swimming in the heavy water, buried in sand
Happy hearts fall from my stupid hands
I can't hide my sexual life
My sexual life