Shikata Ga Nai

"You will go?" Nakago inquired calmly, the way he always spoke with that firm, sure tone. Amiboshi scratched his arm uncomfortably and eyed his surroundings. Nakago’s chamber was not the prettiest site, but it somewhat amazed him. He felt out of place, standing half-naked in front of the Shogun. He embraced himself to cover most of his nudity and opened his mouth to answer. No sound, to his surprise came out.
"Well?" Nakago’s intimidating voice spoke up. Amiboshi’s eyes rose gracefully from the ground and met Nakago’s fierce blue eyes. He turned away quickly as he assured his answer once more, "Hai Nakago sama, I will go." A little grim smile tugged on Nakago’s pale lips then quickly vanished as Amiboshi looked up again with a dismal, unlively expression. "You should be proud to take this job, Amiboshi." Nakago responded to Amiboshi’s melancholy smile as he roughly lifted his chin. "I will send for you when the time is best to leave. In the meantime, you will continue with your daily chores."
For a while, Nakago continued holding Amiboshi’s solemn face and tried to get his eyes to meet his own. Nakago hardened his eyes and he threw Amiboshi’s face aside roughly as he simultaneously caught hold of his arm. "Look at me when I am speaking." Nakago seethed. He tightened his grip to try to get a response from the boy. Amiboshi only winced and immediately looked up. Nakago smiled. "That is the problem with you, Amiboshi. Nakago began. You are…somewhat a disobedient boy.
His grip on Amiboshi’s arm tightened as he dug his nails into the boy’s warm flesh. Amiboshi flung his head back and moaned. One of these days that disobedience of yours will cost you dearly, Nakago rested his hand on Amiboshi’s bare shoulder. I am pleased with you and you will make a strong soldier with a little training…so don’t fail me now." Amiboshi smiled weakly, and once again silence flooded the vast space between Nakago and him. It seemed like an infinite amount of time before Nakago slid his arm off Amiboshi’s shoulder and gave him permission to leave. As Amiboshi gently massaged the tender spot on his arm, he bowed quickly and trudged out of Nakago’s chamber. He closed the door carefully behind him and slid off the towel that had been hanging loosely around his neck. How was he going to explain this to his brother…?
He walked away in silence, letting the dismal shadows engulf his lighted figure; walking away from his own thoughts for a while. As he pushed himself against a pillar, he rested his head there for a while. He felt naked, even though he wasn’t. He just felt like he could not keep anything concealed anymore. He just felt so exposed; like there was no sense in keeping secrets or dreaming anymore…He felt a sudden urge, an impulse to cry, but it seemed like he had forgotten how to…