| LEICESTER CITY |
| Leicester are a great side that always do well no matter what anyone says. They pass the ball around well and all of the players are capable of scoring goals, which as you and I know always makes a great team. It will be up to new manager Peter Taylor if Leicester can do well, but he has sold Stan Collymore to Bradford, so that shows that he is pretty shite. Everyone knows that Stan Collymore is the best player in the world and one you should never sell. Peter said "Stan had been causing trouble in the dressing room, he used to buy Nutella and put it in his pants so it looked like shit, and then he would eat it and loads of my players were sick. He also farted loads and put drawing pins on my chair, you can get aids from that you know". If Peter knew what was best for the club, he would have left instead of forcing Stan out, but instead he had to be selfish and do what is bad for the club but good for him. The official PREMIER LEAGUE PREDICTION for Leicester City is an alright 5th. If they kept Collymore, they could have won it. |
| STAR PLAYERS |
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| ADE AKINBIYI It is a total secret in the football world, but insiders like the PREMIER LEAGUE PREDICTIONS team know that Gary Lineker, with his love for Walkers Crisps and Leicester City, still plays for Leicester in disguise. He used to be Emile Heskey, but he went to Liverpool, so now Gary Lineker IS Ade Akinbiyi, which is why he is so damn good. If you look closely at his hands, you will notice that they are white. Gary is happy to play for 100 packets of crisps a day, which works out at 35, 600 packets of crisps per annum. His favourite flavour is Prawn Cocktail. |
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| MATT ELLIOTT A big hard skinhead who is a great goalscorer, but who his stupid manager keeps playing in defence. "I get forward and score some fucking beauties" said Elliott "My manager plays me in defence but I always run forward and goalhang to score some goals, because everyone knows that if you don't score lots of goals then you are shit at footy". Elliott also plays for Scotland but they are still shit, even with his help, "they just eat haggis and wear kilts and play the bagpipes, so no wonder they are shite. But then again, I was never going to be able to play for England because they wear white strips and white is for fucking ballerinas." We think Matt is a great player and should help Leicester to another excellent season. |
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| NEIL LENNON Neil Lennon has proved to be a very consistent ginger player for Leicester. "I'm not ginger, I'm strawberry blonde" said the Northern Ireland International "I think my hair colour is totally irrelevant anyway, as I am well good at Football." Save it for the judge, carrot head. Leicester City players are given so much Red Bull that they can't stop for photos, and if you watch Leicester play, you will notice that none of the players can stop moving. "Its the secret of our success" said Lennon "Red Bull gives you wings, and is available at all good retailers at only �8 a can" With value like that its no surprise that Red Bull is the choice for Leicester City F.C. |