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The Bonding Power of Locking Lips

For man and animals, kissing is a bonding behavior, she says. "There are all kinds of social reasons that humans and animals kiss, and they don't all have to do with sex. Most cultures in the world do kiss sexually. [But some] peoples in South America, some in the Himalaya Mountains, do not kiss. They find it revolting to exchange saliva."

Kissing also engenders touch, often called "the mother of the senses, because of its power," says Fisher. "We know that massaging someone produces increased levels of oxytocin, which is a calming hormone. So there's every reason to think kissing is extremely calming, if you know the person well, or extremely stimulating if you are in love with somebody."

Studies of rodents -- voles, specifically -- have shown that oxytocin makes a mother vole become attached to its offspring, says Larry Young, PhD, professor of psychiatry in the Center for Behavioral Neuroscience at Emory University Medical School in Atlanta.

Whether a guy vole sticks around "afterward" seems to be driven by oxytocin, Young tells WebMD.

Prairie voles are the only vole species that mate for life; their genetic makeup drives them to produce satisfying amounts of oxytocin. On the other hand, mountain voles are loners and breed promiscuously; they produce virtually no oxytocin or vasopressin, the male version of the hormone.

In humans, this translates into the bonding benefits of kissing, foreplay, every bit of touching you do.

Here's a tip: "One of most powerful releases of oxytocin is stimulation of the nipples," Young tells WebMD. It's the same biological mechanism that triggers milk flow during nursing. Sucking triggers oxytocin release, and thus the bond is created.

Humans, interestingly enough, are the only species that includes nipple stimulation in lovemaking, he adds.

Romance, Love -- or Lust?

That rush that sweeps through your body, during those particularly great kisses? Fisher knows it well.

"Kissing is contextual," she says. "A kiss can be wildly sexual, wildly romantic, or it can be deeply gratifying because it's an affirmation of attachment. Kissing somebody for the first time, rather than the 200th or 2,000th time, creates a situation of incredible novelty."

Fisher says there are three different stages one typically goes through:

lust -- the craving for sexual gratification
romantic love -- the feeling of giddiness, euphoria, sleeplessness, and loss of appetite when you meet a new love
attachment -- that sense of security you find with a with long-term partner.

If you're in the midst of a "mad love affair, it's quite possible you simply feel levels of dopamine, that zing of romantic infatuation," Fisher tells WebMD. "If all you're doing is having a sexual fling with someone you like very well -- but are not in love with and don't feel attached to -- then all you may feel is sex drive, the effects of testosterone."

Unless you're kissing the wrong person, kissing quite likely is good for us, says Fisher.

"I've often thought it would boost the immune system," she says. "If you're sharing your germs with somebody, you're adding to your internal defense system."

Kissing also stimulates the brain, and when the experience is a positive one, "you notice it," she says. "That translates into the euphoria, or the sex drive, or the sense of calm and peace.

"Kissing helps your state of mind," she adds. "Infatuation can be perfectly divine. If you're madly in love with somebody, it's perfectly wonderful to kiss them. It creates incredible intimacy. It boosts self-esteem. It's wonderful to be kissed by somebody."