I climb up the stairs. I don't think I've ever climbed them this slow. Normally I'm the kinda guy who jumps stairs two by two, however today I think I don't want to face what's at the top of the stairs. I slowly pace down the hallway and reach my destination. I stare at the wooden door. I have the alternative of just running like hell out of this building yet my feet somehow don't move and I'm left standing there like an idiot staring at the wooden door.

I take a deep breath and think "I'm going to knock," but I don't. Why don't I? And before I know it my knuckles have connected with the wood and are making a noise that sounds suspiciously like a knock. Oh shit. I brace myself for the yelling and demand that I leave,

"Taylor!" Gia has opened the door and is staring at me like I'm a vision from heaven? Actually better make that hell.

"Gia..." I stand there, staring at her. She looks much better now that I'm seeing her clearly and through a haze resulting from profuse amounts of alcohol that I've consumed, "I uh...can I...?"

"Oh, uh, sure," she stammers and steps aside. I see the inside of her apartment. Nothing has changed in the three months we've spent "incommunicado", "Sit down, can I get you anything to drink, or anything?" she asks. She seems confused as to how to treat me. Am I a guest? Am I still the same guy who knew where everything was and helped myself?

"Nah, I'm not thirsty," I reply. I don't know where to begin. What do I say? "How have you been?" I ask after a slight pause.

"Good," she replies, she eyes me suspiciously, "What about you?" She asks. I look at her. Suddenly I want nothing more than all this nonsense to be over. I just want her and I want to resume our normal, comfortable friendship. I just want my best friend back.

"Not so good," I respond.

"Oh," she states, taking a seat on the sofa's arm, "Why not?" she asks after eyeing me. I smile somewhat ruefully,

"Well Mack's going out with some chick, his first girlfriend. Zac broke up with Abby, Dad's got high blood pressure and the person that I wanted to tell this all too wasn't talking to me. And to add insult to injury I almost threw up all over her," I list, awaiting her reaction.

"Oh," she says blankly. What a disappointment. What happened to my tearful embrace?

"Yeah,"

"Is your dad okay?"

"Yeah, just a few dietary changes,"

"Good. And Zac?"

"Dunno, I don't think so. He's just clammed up as he does when he's really upset," I shrug. She nods. There's a silence. A long silence. This is horrible. I hate pregnant pauses like these. Am I meant to say something? Why doesn't she say anything? Am I going to walk out of here as an enemy or as a friend or neither?

"You almost got my hair," she states. I look up at her. She's dead serious; her face has a hard expression on it. It doesn't look like she's going to forgive me. A horrible feeling of utter despair rips right through me and I feel like throwing up. I stare at her. Unexpectedly her mouth turns upwards at the corners and a michievous look encompasses her face, reaching right through to her eyes. I can feel tears welling up in my eyes and my vision becomes blurry. This release of emotion is insane. I just feel so light, like I'm floating. Gia sees that I'm on the verge of tears and her face breaks into a look of concern,

"Oh God," she rushes over to me, "Tay, I'm so sorry," She never calls me that. She takes me into her arms and holds my head against her shoulder.

"No, you were right Gi," I bawl onto her shoulder, "I've just missed you so much,"

"Me too. I'm sorry I said all that shit. I just want you to be more careful, you know? You'd just changed so much I didn't know what was happening with you and us and with everything,"

"Me too. I didn't mean a lot of it. You're not frigid and I didn't mean to imply you couldn't get a guy," I look up at her. I can feel my nose has gone all runny like it always does when I cry. I sniffle and wipe my nose on my sleeve. Attractive I know, "You know I think you're one of the most beautiful women I know, don't you?"

"Don't be dopey," she smirks at me. She pushes a lock of my hair out of my eyes, "Taylor, these months have been so fucking hard,"

"Tell me about it. I want to say sorry for being such an idiot Gia," I tell her earnestly. I don't ever want to feel as seperated from her as I've felt over these last few months.

"I'm sorry too," she murmurs, There's still one thing I have to know,

"Did you mean it?" I ask tentatively, she looks at me unwillingly,

"Not everything, but most things I did," she says softly, "And I think I still do mean it," she looks contrite as though she wishes she didn't mean it, "But I don't mean it enough to end a friendship over it, know what I'm saying?" she raises her eyebrows. She doesn't need to explain; I do know what she means. I think I want to stop my sleazing around anyway. I'm quite over it. I look at her. She's waiting expectantly,

"Come here you dork," I laugh.

"Never again," she states and I smile back. I know what she's referring too. In this small sentence she has said all I want to hear and I don't think that there's anything more to be said,"

"Never again." I reinforce. I engulf her in a giant hug. She holds me tightly and I mimic her.

God this feels good. God I feel good.