"Tina's" Story
Unplanned pregnancy after 10 years!
When I found out I was pregnant it was supposed to be the best news of my life. I never remember crying when I got the news about my other two babies. No, this was supposed to be good news not bad. But here I am 38 years of age with two children aged 14 and 10 and expecting a baby when I turned 39. Not what I had planned. If I had been asked last January if I was going to have another baby I would have asked you if I look stupid.
The problem is I had been married for 16 years and had never been with another man in my life. And here I am, the first affair, and pregnant with another man's child. As he said, we are both to blame for this.
The baby's dad begged me to have an abortion for the sake of our families. He said this would only bring pain and heartache. I knew this was true, and maybe I was being selfish, but I just knew I couldn't live with myself if I killed my unborn child. I had preached to so many people about abortion. How could I knowingly kill my own. I did a lot of soul searching, a lot of thinking and cried and cried as I searched for the answers of the best thing to do. I was dealing with my mom's illness, knowing she was about to pass away and this pregnancy both at the same time. I felt overwhelmed. I was so depressed, sad and upset. I was mad at the world. I remember just needing to be alone. I decided to take my laundry to the Laundromat to wash them and was driving in the car, so out of it with my mind racing 100 miles a minute. I asked the Lord to please help me, show me what to do. I normally drive over the speed limit but when I asked the Lord for his help and guidance, I immediately slowed down. I was thinking and thinking. As I approached a bend in the road, a young man came round the corner at top speed, on my side of the road. I saw him as I approached, but fortunately, I was going slow. Had I been speeding he would have ended in my lap and only God knows what would have happened to my baby. Minutes later I parked my car and jumped out without putting the hand break on. My car rolled across the street (main road) and collided with a tree. Luckily I wasn't in the car, and even better no one was on the main road. I took this as a sign. Also, I hadn't spoken with the father of the baby for few days and this helped me to deal with and make my decision. I decided to keep my baby.
Even through all of this, I was still in denial that I was pregnant. I hadn't been to the doctor and was hoping that the test was incorrect. Well it wasn't.
I am now holding my 5 month old baby. From the date of his birth he has brought nothing but joy. He is so sweet, so special and a real blessing. I know I could not have done this without the help of Shellie and her board, Pat and her board. Pat actually referred me to Shellie and I have her to thank for my baby.
So you see, my situation is complicated but I am making it through. I don't regret having my baby boy and I love him as much as I love my other kids. So does my entire family. I cant go anywhere without people approaching to talk to him. He is truly a God send.. Even his dad has accepted him and cares about him.
It can be done. If you find yourself in this position, take comfort in knowing you are not the first and will not be the last. Please ask yourself though, why make a bad situation worse. Enjoy your special gift. I am enjoying my son even though he has a different dad. He makes me laugh every day. He is just so adorable.
If you want to write to me, please do so. My address is: [email protected]
One messed up but sane lady |
