| Anonymous I'm a 17 year old. I live in Texas. Can't say Where I live at, but it's a pretty big city. I had been with my fiancee for 2 years at this point. It was during june, I was jealous of my honey, and I thought somehow he had been cheating on me. Well, revenge isn't sweet. I regreted my actions almost immediately. I had slept with this guy that I met at work. I had known him for 3 weeks. Well....we didn't talk too much about it, and in fact when we did, I told him I'd kick his a** if I wound up pregnant, in a joking manner. Well I hadn't started yet, and I wasn't worried at all because I have (had) a very irregular period, like go for 14 weeks , and not be pregnant, just not having my period. Well I got a test just to be sure, because after all it had always come out negative, why would it possibly come out possitive this time. Well I bought it, and did the whole pee on the stick thing. It came out with 2 pink lines. I immediately called my good friend Amanda, and told her what happened! She said well...2 pink lines means your pregnant right? I said well yeah. But I kept repeating over and over again, saying theres not supposed to be 2 pink lines. I was freaking out, and crying, and really upset. She said that maybe it was wrong, and to just call the father and tell him what had happened. Well I did. I told him, hey guess what ? He said huh, and I said I'm pregnant. He was quiet for 5 minutes, and said, "sh** get rid of it." Great to hear those words from the father of your child. Well.... I wanted the same thing. I just wanted to make it go away, and make everthing, and keep everything good. Keep my life in tact. Because needless to say this has torn my life into pieces. I actually tried to get rid of him myself. I regret that so much now, but at the time I panicked, and tried everything. But he's a little fighter, and he's perfectly healthy now,the baby I mean. Well I was 6 to 8 weeks when I found out and got a sonogram. I paid 50 bucks, and they confirmed my pregnancy. I didn't tell my parents till I was 12 1/2 weeks. About 3 months, since I count 4 weeks is a month. My parents freaked, and there had been a lot of drama. I wanted an abortion. I had, but I know I would've hated myself. I hate myself for even considering getting rid of him. I grew used to the fact that I was pregnant. I told my boyfriend I had cheated, and he broke up with me. And since then he's dumped me 4 times. I don't blame him. Turns out he cheated on me after all. I told him I was giving the baby up for adoption. He said that it was best, and that he still wants to get married, like we planned. Well....since then, I've been to counseling, and a ton of doctors appointments. But I've enjoyed every single one of them, except for the first. giggles. I saw my baby BOY on September 25th 2001. Thats where we found out he was a boy. He was very much so spread out. He was actually asleep through the sonogram. I saw his face, his tiny hands! His heart, his feet, legs, ect. That when I knew I couldn't murder this precious creature. He was so small and innocent. My mistake wasn't his fault. He hadn't known anything, he had just simply been conceived because of an action and decision I made. That's when I knew I made the right decision with adopting him to a good family. I love my son. I will always love him, and this is why I want to give him up for adoption. He deserves the best. He deserves a life,and a chance to make the best of it. He's quite the little kick boxer. It's forced me to grow up. It's forced me to mature, and think about him, not myself. I'm not thinking of anyone but my son in this decision, because I know this is going to break my heart so many times over, it's like I'd die. But with counseling, I'm learning that we'll have a bond, but not become attached. It's hard, but I know this is best for him. I'm glad I didn't kill him. I'm glad he'll have a chance. I'm glad that I can give this gift to someone who is prepared for him! Financially stable, loving family, ect. :) Thank you for listening. :) anonymous |
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