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| Hello all... I became familiar with this website after one of my good friends told me about it. I would like to share My own personal experience with abortion. I feel I should do so, because I would take back what I did in an instant if I could. I wouldn't want anyone to make the same decision I made. I had been dating my boyfriend at the time (Jerry) for over 2 1/2 years when we decided to have sex. I was 15 years old when this happened. One day in the summer time, we were alone in his parents house. We decided to have sex, and the condom broke without either of us knowing. When I noticed what had happened, I cried all the way home. I prayed for weeks that I wouldn't wind up pregnant...but it happened. I missed my period, and started dealing with Morning Sickness on a daily basis. I had been brought up in a religious family, both of my parents and my sisters and I attended church faithfully every Sunday. My parents brought me up that I should wait until marriage to have sex. So...this was VERY hard for me to deal with. I couldn't go to my parents for advise, and I wouldn't dare tell them what had happened. Jerry was somewhat supportive, but was completely against having the baby. I was caught between what I knew was right (to have my baby), and what I thought would "make the problem go away", which was abortion. At 10 weeks...one of our friends drove us to the clinic. I lied, and said I was 18 years old. We didn't have enough money for me to be put asleep, so I paid for the "general anesthesia". I was petrified, plus also dealing with the emotional trauma of knowing what I was about to do. I was told to sit in a small "changing closet" with a robe on until it was my turn. The girl ahead of me went in...and I could hear her screaming at the top of her lungs. She wound up going into shock on the table, and was taken away in an ambulance. Still...I waited my turn. I climbed onto the table, and looked around the room, which was lined with clear glass "jars" containing the remains from each abortion done before me. I couldn't believe what I was doing. When they injected me withthe anesthesia, a shooting pain tore through my stomach. I looked at the nurse who was holding my hand and I began to cry uncontrollably. They asked me if I wanted to continue, and I said "yes". They turned the vacuum on, and began scraping the walls of my uterus. I have NEVER in my life experience such pain...both physical and emotional. I closed my eyes and tried to clear my mind from feeling the vacuum pull on my insides. I felt like I was lying there forever...like it was never going to end. When I heard the vacuum shut off, I opened my eyes. I saw another clear jar on the wall with my name written across it. It was done. I couldn't take back what I did. I just sat there and stared at that jar. What had I done???? That was my baby in there... I was sent home and told to take a pill each day, out of a bottle which was given to me unlabeled. I was in pain and bled for the next two weeks. I am now 26 years old. I deal with the emotional damage of what I did quite often. I have nightmares, reliving what happened in that clinic. I don't know what your situation is, it may be similar to mine, and it may not. But I can give you this advise. Choose Life. The pain you'd go through isn't worth it. I'm 26 years old...and its never gotten any easier to deal with. I know in my heart that God forgave me for what I did. I'm still trying to forgive myself. Its just not that easy...and I wouldn't want anyone to go through what I'm still going through. All it takes is one look at my niece and my nephew...and that quickly...I realize what a mistake I made. Those tiny little hands, those beautiful eyes...the way they can make a miserable day all better with one smile at me. I let that all go. I would never do it again. I'd take it back if I could...but I can't. Don't make the mistake I made. Stacey |
| Stacey's Story |