Darienne's Story
A year ago at this time I was 16 and thought that I had the perfect life. I was an A student, I had great friends, my two best friends being Morgan and Beth. I was also very close to my mom and two sisters. My dad and I had never really gotten along, but things weren't that bad. I had just started dating the ideal "Perfect Guy." He was one of the most popular guys at his school (we went to different schools) a state record breaking football player, and just a nice guy. The only problem was that he was black, and I am white. My Grandparents were very upset with this and didn't talk to me until April. Which upset my dad very much because he said I was "ruining the family." After that everything was going ok until May. I missed my period that month. I wasn't to scared though because I had missed it before. I told my boyfriend and he didn't think anything about it either.
When school let out my boyfriend started to change. He never came over, wouldn't call when he said he would, and never wanted to see me. I wanted to try to stay with him because he was the first person that I had ever been with, and that was something special to me. But by June I had decided that we should break up, but then I realized that I still hadn't had my period. The only person I told other than my boyfriend was Morgan. We never kept any secrets from each other, and I thought that I could really trust her. She went to the store and got me a pregnancy test, which quickly came back positive. I was devastated. It took me two days to get ahold of my boyfriend and tell him. He realized that this was a very serious situation and told me that he would do whatever I wanted to. So that weekend we drove to Planned Parenthood to get another pregnancy test. It also came back positive. The lady at Planned Parenthood asked me what I was going to do. The first thing I said was "I want to have an abortion." At the time I thought that it was the only option for me because my parents would have disowned me because my boyfriend was black. The woman then gave me information on how to go through the Judicail Bypass because in my state you have to have parent or court permission if you are under 18.
My boyfriend and I decided that we would go the next week to the Juvenile Court to set up the court date. My court date was scheduled for a week later. I had a lawyer and a guardian. I had tried for 3 days to talk to my lawyer but he was never available, so I didn't get to see him until the day in court. He didn't seem to interested, and really acted as if I was waisting his time. My boyfriend had to wait out in the lobby for me, while I went into a court room, with a guard, my lawyer, guardian, and the judge. The judge started asking me questions, and I quickly caught on the he was Pro-Life. It was horrible. I was so ashamed to be there. Two weeks later I found out that the judge had decided not to give me the bypass. I'm a very strong willed person though, and I decided to appeal, which would be my last chance. This time I got a better lawyer. I met with him and he acted like he really cared. A week later he emailed me and told me that the appeals court overthrough the decision, and I got my bypass. I had been so set on getting the bypass, that I hadn't taken the time to realize that I really had to use it. Then, a week later, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said that he would still be there for me, but by then I knew better.
I began calling clinics and asking them how much and when they could do it. I finally set up an appointment with a clinic that was an hour away. The trouble was it would be $900 and I had to go in two days. The second day was my first day back to school. Morgan drove with me to pick up forms from my lawyer. I asked her if she would come with me the next day, for the first day of the procedure, but she said that she had to work. My ex also said he couldn't come because their school had already started and he had football practice. (perfect guy huh?) So After my parents went to work that morning I went to the bank and got my money orders. I had $30 dollars in change. My ex had only given me $10. I had to use all the money I had saved up from my summer job to buy my back to school clothes, to have an abortion. I drove an hour to the clinic. I was so nervous. I was only 16, in an unknown city. There were Pro-Life people with signs outside yelling at me. When I walked in I saw 20 and 30 year old women, all had someone with them. I could here one women say "That girl is so young, who did she come with?" One women shook her head and said to her boyfriend, "that is so sad, I'm so glad you are here for me." I had to wait for 3 hours. They made me watch a film, and then sit and wait. Then they called my name. All they did that day was insert things to make my uterus dialate. I had anastesia and was very sore, but I had to drive home by myself. That night Morgan didn't call me. Neither did my ex. I decided that I couldn't go by myself the next day, so I called him. He said he would come, but I would have to pick him up from school. So the next day I told my mom I had thrown up and that I couldn't go to school. At first she said I had to go because it was the first day, but she finally gave in. So I picked up my ex and we drove to the clinic. That day I had an abortion. I don't know what else to say about it. It's to horrible to tell about. The next month was hell on earth for me though. My ex never called to see if I was ok. So one day I went to his house and told him that he had promised to be there for me. He kicked me out of his house. And when I called him that night he hung up on me. Morgan also turned her back on me and told all my other friends what happened, so it quickly went throught the school. I felt so alone, that I told my mom. 2 months of a judicial bypass had been waisted. She was very understanding but told me I should tell my dad. So I did. Something that I still regret. He called me all the names you think of and then some. We still don't talk as much. I had missed so many days at work, that they told me they didn't need me anymore. I had nightmares, when I could sleep, about my baby. I prayed that I could take it all back. I didn't care what anyone else thought anymore, I just wanted to have my baby. But it was too late.
After a month I decided to pick myself up and try to start over. I know I will never be the same, I still cry everynight. I've started going to discussions and try to help people who are in the same situation I was in. I tell them my story, and hope it will change their minds. I know it won't take back what I did, but to save one baby is worth it.
I still don't talk to Morgan. My other friends and I aren't as close either. My ex apologized for everything. He has changed and is trying very hard to get me back, but I still don't trust him, and I shouldn't. My parents also don't want me with him. My parents and I don't really get along anymore. But honestly, I'm ok with that. I've decided that I want to start MY life. I don't want to do what other people want me to, I want to do what I think and feel in my heart is right.
Darienne |
