Erin's Story
I was 23 years old, pretty carefree, and involved with what I thought at the time was a great guy. We had a good relationship and had planned on getting married in May of '99. In April of '98 I discovered I was pregnant. When I told the father, who I will call Jeff, about the baby I was only 3 weeks along. Amazingly enough I just knew and got a + test that early. Jeff decided that we should get married right away and began looking for houses to buy. I agreed at first because I thought that was the right thing to do. Within a couple of days I was completely overwhelmed with all of the decisions that lay before me. I told Jeff I did not want to get married right away, that I felt we could always get married the following year as we planned and that rushing it was not the answer. He immediately stood up, packed his things and left. As he walked out the door he said he would call me the next day and send me some money. I never heard from him or saw him again. At first I was upset and then I was angry. I stayed angry for most of my pregnancy. I resented that I was doing it alone. I had no health insurance but luckily was able to get medicade. I felt like I had done something wrong and I felt guilty for being pregnant. I went to childbirth classes and cried after every one of them. All the happy couples in there expecting their new babies together and me with my mom. I am ashamed to say I was ashamed. But.......In December of 1998 everything changed. I gave birth to my daughter on December 21 at 3:15 in the afternoon with my mom as my labor coach. I did not put his name on the birth certificate. I picked out her name. I decorated her nursery. I didn't have to consult with anyone or get approval, I did it myself. It was the toughest and best thing I have ever done in my life. She is amazing. One of my favorite lines in any movie is a mother talking about her daughter and saying, " she is the reason I was born." I feel that way about my daughter. Out of this whole thing I have learned that I am a very strong, very capable woman. I have learned about what is really important in life. I have learned that I can do anything I put my mind to and that no matter how tough things get, I have this beautiful child that thinks I created the world. I am now 27 years old and my little girl will be 3 this December. If you ask me would I change any of this I would tell you, not a chance. Not a single detail.
Erin |
