| Carrie's Story When I was 18, just after high school, I got pregnant. My boyfriend And I were scared, and of course, we used the usual excuse that we had no $$ (we were living with my parents, and neihter of us had jobs), our families would disown us, blah blah blah, and thought that an abortion was the best thing. Well, I went through it, I was approximately 11 weeks (I never went to the doctor to get an exact due date or anything).....I did not suffer any phyical trauma, other than the fact that I found out that I was allergic to Ibuprofen on that day ( I nearly blacked out several times.) But I did suffer an emotional blow that will haunt me forever. The nurse that was helping the doctor with the procedure asked I'd like to see the ultrasound . I was given some Valume, as the 'local anesthesia' and so I wasn't really coherent...I don't remember saying yes or no to that, but the nurse turned the monitor towards me, and I saw my baby. At that time I wanted to run out of the room, but I was terrified, so I stayed. Afterwards, I remember feeling depressed and lonely for a few days, but my boyfriend was there for me, and was very supportive. After the abortion, I felt like I had no choice but to be pro-choice..afterall, I was not 'forced' into having an abortion, I did it with my own free will. I even remember flipping off a pro-lifer that was picketing the clinic, when I went back for my 2 week checkup. Now, fast foward.... on February 20, 2001, my boyfriend and I got married. We still lived with my parents, but both of us had jobs. I worked at a daycare, because I have always loved children (which is also why it was painful to abort--I always loved kids and couldn't wait to be a mother.) Anyway, May of 2001, my husband got transferred to another town, so we moved about 8 hours away from our families. In June we found out I was pregnant, and a doctor confirmed that I am due sometime around February 19, 2002. We were very shocked, because this pregnancy was also unplanned, and I even toyed with the idea of abortion again...I'd always said I was pro-choice, but I was not about to be one of those people that have an abortion everytime they get pregnant, as a form of birth control. And for some reason, I had never even given adoption a thought...I really don't know why. So anyway, I decided to keep my baby, and although my husband was very disappointed, he eventually came around. Now we are expecting a healthy boy on 2/19. Anyway, since becoming pregnant again, I realize that my abortion was a huge mistake. I was naive in thinking that it would solve all my problems, and so was my husband. In a way it made my problems worse. I believe I've become very depressed out of the whole thing. I never was one to use the excuse that an unborn child is simply a 'fetus'...to me it's a baby from the moment it's conceived. Seeing the baby on the monitor that day at the abortion clinic pretty much confirmed that for me. And after talking to another pro-life person one day, I realized that if I was ever pro-choice, I am not any longer..so I consider myself pro-life and I believe I have been forgiven for my mistake. Carrie |
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