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WHO'S AT THE DOOR?
Not a pretty sight is it? eh?
You guessed it. And I am sure you know what I am talking about. We've all been there as it eats every last bit of sanity and reason we have left. And it's not healthy.
I have gone to bed with a knife by my side just in case the police come crashing through my door to arrest me. That's about the worst thing I have done so far.
But this is what paranoia is. You get all these crazy thoughts in your head and you can't think properly. It can be the worst thing about our addiction. But it can be used as leverage to overcome our addiction. Think of a scale. On one side you have our "fix" and on the other side you have going to jail and being exposed to the world as a pervert. I am not a mathematician, but I can imagine which side the scale will tip. But is this enough? Hell no! We've got bigger demons to tackle! But it is a good method to keep in mind. You just have to find your threshold. Get enough leverage on it and you might just pull it off eventually. Just a piece in the puzzle, boys!
After much lying and deceit, trying to cover my tracks and hide the demon within, I was humiliated and laid bare to her judgement. But it didn't stop there even though I stopped for a while. Eventually, it was the end of the line and we separated.
I lost someone whom I loved and was about to share my whole life with. That is why I am an addict. Perhaps this would be enough to stop me from surfing the internet for a fix. Alas, it is not.
Have some similiar stories to share? I'll like to hear them. I'll link them to this page.