| AUSTIN, TX (Dec. 4) - Attorneys for Texas Governor George W. Bush filed suit in federal court today, seeking to prevent Santa Claus from making his list and then checking it twice. The complaint seeks an immediate injunction against the beloved Christmas icon, asking the court to effectively ban his traditional practice of checking the list of good boys and girls one additional time before packing his sleigh. The suit, filed in the Federal District Court of Austin, Texas, asks a federal judge to "hereby order Mr. Claus to cease and desist all repetitive and duplicative list-checking activity, and certify the original list as submitted, without amendment, alteration, deletion, or other unnecessary modification." "There are no standards for deciding who is naughty, and who is nice. It's totally arbitrary and capricious. How many more times does he need to check? This checking, checking, and rechecking over and over again must stop now," said former Secretary James Baker. Baker further claimed that unnamed GOP observers witnessed an elf remove all boys named Justin from the 'nice' list, filing them under 'naughty' instead because "everyone knows all boys named Justin are brats." President elect Bush cited the potential for unauthorized list tampering, and blasted what he called the "crazy, crazy mess up there at the North Pole. Their security is really awful, really bad," said Bush. "My mother just walked right in, told 'em she was Mrs. Claus. They didn't check her ID or nothin'." Meanwhile, Vice President elect Cheney, issued a direct plea to St. Nick himself. "Mr. Claus, I call on you to do the honorable thing, and quit checking your list. The children of the world have had enough. They demand closure now," Cheney said, adding that his granddaughter has already selected a name for the pony she's asked for. The Rev. Jesse Jackson was quick to respond to this latest development with plans to lead his protesters from Florida to the North Pole via dogsled. The "Million Man Mush" is scheduled to leave Friday. "We need red suits and sleighs, not law suits and delays," Jackson said. Santa Claus could not be reached for comment, but a spokeself said he was "deeply distressed" by news of the pending legal action against him. He's losing weight, and he hasn't said 'Ho Ho' for days," said the spokeself. "He's just not feeling jolly." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| Seasons Greetings: Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all ... ... and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2001, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee. (By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
| GREETINGS! 2000 Another year passes and one wonders where it went! Highlights include a 2 week Caribbean cruise that hit some unusual places like Puerto Ordaz in Venezuela and Devils Island (Yes, they did allow us to leave!); an 8 nighter to Yellowstone and other parks; 3 nights in Cape Coral, FL; the Mensa Annual Gathering in Philadelphia; 1 day trips to Kings Dominion, Tangier I., and Harpers Ferry; and many local sights when I played tour guide for visiting friends. An early April two week Celebrity Cruise on the Zenith ship stopped for a good full day each in Tortola, Barbados, Puerto Ordaz, Devil's Island, Trinidad, Grenada, Guadeloupe, St. Thomas, and San Juan.<>Standard room was the biggest I'd ever had on a cruise - included 2 chairs, desk, table, many drawers, large closets, nice counter around sink, and separate shower. All requested services and items were supplied promptly. Personnel even went out of their way to unlock your cabin door for you if they saw you coming. They advertise good cuisine and live up to their claims - lobster tail once, big juicy shrimp, filet mignon repeatedly, 1/2 roasted duck, sate, tiny stuffed partially deboned birds (2 whole birds per serving), veggies done in interesting and good ways, pineapple that ranged from good to fantastic, rum raisin ice cream made on the ship that was out of this world and over which I don't think I'd want to wave a lighted match, carved watermelons that I took several pictures of, etc. There were about 23 listed food services each day from formal dining and teas to buffet and grill type things that you could grab on the run. Getting decent information on the islands and what the shore excursions that THEY WERE SELLING on the ship covered was difficult. Getting ANY information on where we were on the Orinoco River was impossible.<>Flying in and out of Fort Lauderdale provides some interesting views of the many bodies of water in that city. Between Fort Lauderdale and San Juan one sees some very pretty scenery from the air in the form of deep blue and green ocean around white (surf) edged brown and green islands (many uninhabited).<>The 2 rivers that meet at Puerto Ordaz are of VERY different/contrasting colors. Puerto Ordaz has 2 very interesting (yellow) waterfalls that I shot nearly one entire 36 exposure roll of slides on. A 1/2 day tour to them costs you $70 because they have to bring the buses in from Caracas. Ours was the only cruise ship that visited there. We docked next to where they loaded pelletized iron ore and EVERYTHING on our huge ship got covered with rusty red dust. After we left the crew did an excellent job of getting all cleaned up rapidly.<>Most of the islands offer the same things - shopping, botanic gardens or rain forests, skinny (by Santa Monica standards) beaches, rum factories, snorkeling and/or glass bottomed boats (I went on one such trip on Guadeloupe but there wasn't much to see. Snorkeling for the first time was an experience.), etc. The one really unusual thing (the ship didn't even offer a tour to it) was Pitch Lake in Trinidad. I learned about it in advance and through the Internet was able to make contact with the tour operator in Trinidad and arrange a private tour for myself to there. It is about 100 acres, many times larger than Los Angeles' La Brea Tar Pits but without the prehistoric skeletons. It is solid enough to walk on but seems to be constantly, very slowly churning. Trees/logs fall in and disappear and later reappear. Along lines or at points where sections are rolling/folding downward water collects along with bits of orange sulfur/iron sediment which highlight the creases and stretch lines. Small columns of rising bubbles can be ignited (methane gas). Sir Walter Raleigh discovered the lake and used the pitch to caulk his ships. One approaches the lake on an undulating road noting sagging pavement and shifting town buildings as the lake extends under them. Except for packing too many people in the bus Mayflower Tours did a good job on the Western National Parks Trip. They research the locations, pick good guides and driver, and throw in appropriate extras like a ranger who sings to you at Shell Canyon Falls and a cowboy poet that recites some of his works at a dinner. <>On the Thurs. flight into Salt Lake City to start the trip I was telling the couple seated beside me that the tour included hearing the Mormon Tabernacle Choir practice if they were doing their regular weekly practice that night. A man in the row behind me spoke up, "We�re practicing tonight!" He was a member of THE Choir! That evening he found me in the audience and gave me a cassette of choir music! This was a great start for a trip! <> The 14 person inflated raft trip for 10 miles on the Snake River took slightly over 2 hours and gave us good, close-up views of the Grand Tetons from several angles. There were a few rapids but not really white water. We saw a big bird swoop down, catch a fish, and soar away with it. <> Somehow pictures can�t seem to do justice to the fantastic, 64 ft. square, 76 � feet high, completed in 1904, log lobby of the Old Faithful Inn. One simply has to sit there, gawk, and try to make a mental image. <> The Park service has done 2 bad things in Yellowstone and 2 good things at Devil�s tower and Rushmore. In Yellowstone they have such a hang-up against feeding the bears that you don�t see bears anymore. Also, they have made the 2nd most famous thing in Yellowstone, Morning Glory Pool, accessible only via a 3-mile round trip walk so that the vast majority of visitors don�t see it anymore. At the 865 ft. high with 1.5 acre top Devils Tower they have made a very nice, paved trail all around the base so that you can get a really good look up close from lots of angles and some pictures of the gray tower framed by green trees. At Rushmore they have just opened a very nice, paved trail across the front of the base so that you can get a really good look up close from lots of angles and some pictures of the separate faces framed by green trees. You can even get Washington�s profile! <> The Badlands were most impressive. I shot a 5 slide panorama just from a slight rise by the visitor center! <> Even the largely unfinished Crazy Horse monument was impressive. The face is done. You can pick up rock chunks chipped off from the carving. Do so. They look dirty and gray but washed up turn out to be white, pink, and black granite(?) with mica flecks and are pretty. At a computer conference I got 2 free passes to Paramount's Kings Dominion. With a friend in 7 � hours solid, non-stop, I covered it rather thoroughly and survived rather well. About � way home I suddenly decided that I was incredibly tired. A very high percentage of the rides are the roller-coaster type in which your body is subjected to sudden drops. No thanks! The Scrambler keeps you moving in 1 plane but is wilder than it looks. It superimposes 2 rapid circular motions. If you aren't on the outer edge of the 2-person bench style seat when the ride starts, you will be at the end. The Wave Swinger is an ornate, pretty piece of equipment. You're in an uncomfortable seat suspended by cables from the ends of arms that radiate outward from a center pole. As the arms rotate around the pole (and you of course, are swung outward) the pole elongates upward and you rise accordingly. At the top you are high enough that you have a grand view. It is a pleasant ride. The Nickelodeon Space Surfer is similar but not as pretty and with much more comfortable seats. Beware! the sign on the overlook where you can watch people in large inflatable rafts go down the tumbling Diamond Falls warns that you may get wet. You get drenched! They seem to be trying to get every cent out of a visitor that they can. Food is grossly overpriced. Foldable Chinese sun hats that they probably paid less than $1 for are $6. Lockers near the water attractions are $5 along with a sign saying that there are lockers for 75 cents on the far side of the park. However, you have to be fully dressed to get there. Swimsuits are OK only in the Waterworks area. Labor Day weekend involved a 4 day/3 night trip to Ft. Myers to see my cousin, Terry, who lived directly on a canal in Cape Coral. I also wanted to hunt shells on the famous Sanibel Island. They even have a posture description for shell collectors there - the Sanibel stoop! After you have leaned over for the zillionth time to pick up a shell and your back is killing you, you start making a very conscious decision as to whether that next intriguing shell is really worth the pain of picking it up. Actually Lovers Key a bit south of Sanibel is even better for shells. It's less well known. I ONLY came home with 32 pounds of shells! I also had some good food and met my cousin's new 81 year old boy friend. That was fun. One visitor from Calif. whom I had not seen for at least 10 years stopped by for about 6 days on her way to visit family in Israel just at about the time all the recent trouble broke out. She spent a good bit of her time here agonizing over whether to continue her trip. She did, had no trouble, and got home safely. I've enjoyed escorting visiting friends this year to local sights such as Great Falls where the Potomac R. tumbles over a series of falls/boulders; the Corcoran art museum for the (temp.) Treasures from the Topkapi Palace, Istanbul (my favorite piece was a jeweled rock crystal and gold pen box from the late 16th century.) , the (temp) Anne Leibovitz photo exhibit of women, the famous portrait of George Washington and my all time favorite item in the entire museum, The Veiled Nun from 1869 which is really a solid chunk of marble but looks like a woman's head covered with a thin veil that lets you see the facial features dimly through it; the gorgeous inlaid stone lobby and reading room of the Library of Congress; the Pension Bldg./Buildings Museum, the largest brick bldg. in the world with its huge, impressive hall where presidential inaugural balls and major Am. Institute of Architects' functions are held; the Hirshorn courtyard to see that tower of non-touching rods and connecting cables that by standing up seems to defy the laws of gravity and physics; the annual, orchid exhibit at the Arts and Industries Bldg.; the (temp) piano exhibit 3 floors below ground at the Smithsonian's International Gallery including 1 of the first pianos from the early 1700's as well as a piano covered with 125 lbs. of rhinestones (Liberace's); my favorite statue, the most unusual one of a sprawling, seated Einstein; the cherry blossoms at their peak at 7AM on Sun. (the only time to go before the roads become impossibly crowded); the $50,000,000 FDR memorial; the tip of Hains Point for the craziest sculpture, Awakening, a hand, a head, an arm, a foot, and a knee all in silver color rising from the ground and positioned so as to give the impression that there is a connecting body under the ground; the Hope diamond and impressive meteor collection; and Huntley Meadows, a bird watcher's paradise, right here in N. VA., a very different landscape consisting of a marshy area with boardwalks above the water. This past summer we had a wild storm and a 20-hour power failure. I've never seen anything like it before. 3 houses had large trees lying on their roofs. Another tree had a very spectacular split. All of my recent tours have been with the 36-year-old, 1900+ member, steadily growing, travel club, Shillelaghs, which reported for its recently ended FY, 2204 participations in 70 trips and events for an income of $1.5 million! They have monthly local meetings, pre-trip parties, etc. A local Mensan is deeply involved with an incredible, totally free. totally private Halloween display in 2 adjacent front yards near Mt. Vernon. It is very high tech and includes yards partitioned into several alcoves by tall potted plants and other greenery; two R2D2's - 1 very mobile and remotely controlled; an animated ET; 1 large figure wielding light saber; laser light dancing behind 1 large figure wielding long luminescence red rod; animated spiders both large and small; a robot (controlled by 1 human in the house with SIX joy sticks and a special CRT connected to special, intermittent glasses that allow a 3D image to be seen); a large screen on which dance 3 laser beams - 1 computer controlled which makes recognizable shapes and words and 2 bouncing off mirrors attached to vibrating speakers; outside a massive array of speakers controlled by an impressive control board including dual CD drives in upstairs, front bedroom; many monitor cameras feeding an array of CRTs in same front bedroom; outside a curtain made from CDs; just inside the front door the only human most visitors ever interact with taking Reeses peanut butter cups out of an open, occupied casket and giving them to the little trick or treaters; behind said human a big, fiber optic ball/fountain and flasks of colored liquid; outside a big, black cauldron overflowing with illuminated fake smoke; tombstones; nearby a CRT displaying obituaries keyed in by a volunteer behind the house; many popping and flashing lights; pirates seated at a table in a shed - parts of them move intermittently; flowerbed in front of the house littered with parts of a dismembered body, some of which move; in a frame a white membrane intermittently, pneumatically pulled over a face and illuminated to create a black and white ghostly image; many figures, some illuminated, some not, some moving, some not, peering out of the bushes; a rocket on its side with windows through which you can see a moving astronaut futilely trying to get the rocket (intermittently, vigorously spewing fake smoke) off the ground; etc., etc. A friend who lived about a mile or 2 away in Falls Church sold his house in three days this past summer. for $21,000 more than it was listed for. A house 2 doors from me went on the market a few weeks ago for about $120,000 more than it is assessed and just sold! EEEEEKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There goes my assessment thru the roof! In all the years I've lived here I've never really gotten control of my over-planted yard. Now that I'm retired I'm getting a little more motivated. I chop away at the worst. I guess it really needs a landscape design. I still battle bamboo. Can you use starts of hardy begonias? They have green leaves, red veins, and pink flowers. They survive the winter. They look pretty. They SPREAD This year I acquired a new, fun toy - my own, free web page. Go to http://www.geocities.com/prather2902/index.html and take a look. It has some trip pictures, trip reports, 2 fun pictures of me, and 2 fun links - 1 that lets you experience Calif. living and one that takes you to a friend's web site to view wildly spinning colored spirals that do things to your eyeballs. Thanks to a lovely form of age discrimination that a local community college practices I got a 6-hour $120. course in building web pages at the Northern VA Community College for free. If you want to know how to get your own web page ask me or go to http://www.geocities.com . The system is VERY user friendly and caters to all levels of expertise. You can go in as a beginner, make a useable page and then advance if you wish to refine it. If you have a computer, you can probably get free Internet access and Email. Let me tell you how. If you don't have a computer, go to your local library and ask how to get your own free Hotmail Email account. My 2 Email addresses are [email protected] and [email protected] . The little black dog, Minx, that Mother raised directly from a litter and really developed her intelligence by talking to her constantly and which I now have is 16 1/2 years old. Picture this. Smart little dog discovers that whipping her head around causes centrifugal force to do a good job of getting rid of nasty pills that I have managed to get in the back of her mouth and the vet. tells me to get pink liquid Pepto Bismol in that dog! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |