Sir,
This is in reference to your story "Girl 'escapes' her parents, heads home to Canada".
"janani janmabhoomischa swargaadapi gariyasi". Mother and Motherland make you feel more secure and happy than heaven. Young lady, itis indeed the work of evil hand of fate that you are forced to make a decision to go with only one of them. It is only noble, to choose the Motherland over Mother when it is your turn to show loyalty. However, Mother loves you more than any one in this real
world.
IMHO, you are making a big mistake... If it could bring you some comfort, I think, all children of Bank Employees are in your position when they go from state to state having to face a different culture... having to learn a new script... and believe me... when they grow up they cherish the ordeal they have been through.
Since you have made a decision, the people of this country (as always) can only
wish you good luck.
Thanks
Prashanth Kota
Posted on : 13, August 2003
Posted to : New Indian Express
Story : Girl �escapes� her parents, heads home to Canada
United States and Canada have similar judicial/social system. Their co-operation goes to such and extent that marriages made in Canada have legal binding in US. Drawing a similar parallel, I must say that this girl has been over-reacting. If she had indeed called Police in Canada and later the parents were not prosecuted, it means that the child was only playing prank or over-reacting. Believe me when I say that these people in US take child abuse seriously. You leave your child unattended in the house while you go out for a hour of shopping you could be put in jail... and child returned some foster home. I hear these thing happening every day on news. Beating a child... starving it.. is way out of the question.
India and US have a very different kind of social structure. Especially when it comes to the upbringing of a child. Both are best suited for the kind of social environment present in the respective countries. In India you are not independent until you are earning. But that is the price you have to pay for living in a society that is un forgiving. Indian society does not give a person a second chance. You screw up once... you are screwed up for your entire life (unless you can make something extraordinary happen). More true when it is girl child. Hence parents get more and more protective. In US, a child gets opportunities after opportunities... Hence parents give a degree of latitude when the child wants to explore.
But there are similarities which I guess this girl has not noticed hard enough. Even in US, zillion of studies have shown that children tend to grow up to be better in a happy family not in a foster home. The kind of independence she expects is not in US also. You find it hard to read/write English... you cant survive in US. You can lead a happy life in Punjab without knowing Punjabi... pressure to learn, excel in something is present in US too... She may not have that pressure in a foster home, because foster parents dont care that much. For them, she is already a screw up and if she manages to get a decent life, they feel they have done more than justice. But for real parents, they want her to have much more than a decent life...
She has made a big mistake... huge mistake. I really feel sorry for her.
Underlying assumption: There is no conspicuous evidence of any kind of abuse of the girl, though it is alleged to be so.