Gorf's
Pad
Hello there!  I'm Gorf the fern.  This is where I live.  It's so comfy and there's plenty of nutter butters and tea to go around, so stay a while. 
-Conversations with Master Emu-
Master Emu: So Gorf, how does it feel to be my new sidekick?!
Gorf: It's actually pretty cool Master Emu, but do we get to save anybody?
Master Emu: Umm....no...Actually your the sidekick for my website.  I'm your leader.  And despite what you think, I can see everything you do.
Gorf: HAHA...oh...So that means you know I let your flock of emus loose?
Master Emu: Indeed.  I got those back by the way.  Your lucky this time you little prick.
Gorf: WHAT!!! THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS!!!  They hypnotized me I swear!  Then they beat me with a floppy disk.
Master Emu: Did you just think that excuse up?
Gorf: Nope I have been planning it extensively since noon.
Master Emu: ......
Gorf: ......
Master Emu: Gorf?
Gorf: Yeah?
Master Emu: Stop chicken dancing, it makes me even more angry.
Gorf: Oh sorry.
Gorf: So Master Emu, can I call you Masta?
Master Emu: Ya sure, whatever suits you.
Gorf: COOL!  I thought you were one of those really boring type of guys.
Master Emu: Well...err...you see Gorf.  My website is anything BUT boringThe whole point of it is to be funny
Gorf: Hmm.  Well at least your cool.  I don't know about how funny you are.
Master Emu: Ahh, I see.
Gorf: Can I ask you a very very serious question Masta?
Masta: Shoot.
Gorf: Ok.  What do you think about the movie The Knockaround Guys?  You know the one with Vin Diesel in it?
Master Emu: Gorf why the hell do you ask questions that 1) are extremely stupid, and 2) that could get you hurt?  In other words, I THINK THE KNOCKAROUND GUYS IS GOING TO BE EXTREMELY HORRIBLE BECAUSE IT HAS VIN DIESEL IN IT!!!!!
Gorf: Oh.  WAIT YOU DON'T LIKE VIN DIESEL??!!!  He's a hottie, how could you not like him?
Master Emu: Gorf, I'm starting to dislike you.
Gorf: Tis to be expected el bastard.
<----Ok this is the link home.  Try and guess what this picture is!
Gorf: Hey Masta, you will never believe who I saw on the way to work today!!!!
Master Emu: Oh really?
Gorf: I saw Avant Garde from your comics website!
Master Emu: Oh GOD NO!!!!  Not that stoner dude!  Last time I saw him he thought he was a rabid dog.  Man that guy was high.
Avant Garde: WHAT!!!  I am not a stoner!!!  I just act like one!
Master Emu: Oh....well now that we got that all cleared up, I have the issue that my emus are again missing.  I know it was one of you guys, probably the stoner.
Avant Garde: I'm not a stoner!! Besides, I didn't do it.  I saw Gorf handing out jet packs to your emus around noon.
Gorf: WHAT!!!  How could it have been me!!!!
Avant Garde: Dude I video tapped you doing it!!
Gorf: Oh phooey!  Well my pop tarts ready so I have to attend to it now.

Gorf: Hey Masta guess what!  I found another cool guy too help us with our "little conversations."
Master Emu: Gorf as much as I appreciate your enthusiasm on helping me with my website, you are really bad at picking people.
Gorf: Hey shut up!  This guy is cool!  Look here he is, Kenny G!!!
Kenny G: Hiya guys!!!  I would like to play some funky jazz to express my feelings!!  I think my "improv" on the birthday song will help me express my true feelings.
-(plays a saxophone solo)-

Gorf: Whoa that was a bit too wild!  Isn't this guy a maniac?!
Master Emu: (whispers to gorf) Gorf psst.  This guy is evil I think.  That saxophoe has a mark of pure evil on it.  Do you see the quail mark on it?
Gorf: Oh God!!! Your right!!!!  Kill Kenny G!!!!!
Kenny G: Kill me???!!!  You can't kill me after that solo dudes!!!  I TAKE MY TRUE FORM NOW!!!! BOW TO THE SMOOTHNESS OF MY MUSIC!!!!!!  YOU WILL BOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!!!!!!
-(Turns into the vile Kenny Quail)-
Gorf: I'm not going for this Master Emu
Master Emu: Yeah this guy is really lame.
Gorf: Quick stuff his saxophone with silly putty!!!
-(Stuffs a wad of putty in)-
Kenny Quail: NOOOOO!!!! I AM BEATEN!!!!  THE SMOOTH EVIL I HAVE BEEN PLAYING FOR YEARS IS GONE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!
-(Kenny Quail dissolves into the air as a jet of water vapor.)-

Moral: Never trust quails, and Gorf has a large supply of silly putty, so he could hook you up with some if you want.
Due to lack of funniness, I am discontinuing this series.  If you like it and want me to keep doing it tell me in the guestbook.
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