Sardarji Jokes

 

Sardar kidnaps a boy

There was a Sardarji that was down on his luck. In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you." The Sardarji then wrote a note saying: "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag & put it beneath the mango tree next to the slide on the north side of the city play ground". Signed, "A Sardarji". The Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was sitting beneath the mango tree. The Sardarji opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note saying, "How could you do this to a fellow Sardarji?"

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Sardar in the train
 
A sardar was traveling by train. On his way, he feels the urge to go to the bathroom. So he goes and opens the bathroom door, which happens to have a mirror in the front. The sardar thinks there is another sardar bhai in there, quickly shuts the door and returns to his seat. 5 minutes later he goes again, only to find the same sardar bhai.
An hour passes away, he's made 20 trips to the bathroom, only to find that the same person is still there. So he finally gets ticked off, goes to the last compartment and tells the TC (Ticket Checker) what's been going on. The TC, who also happens to be a sardar, feels bad for him and promises to throw the bum out. The TC walks down to the compartment with the troubled bathroom to get the resident bhai out. Few minutes later the TC comes back and tell the sardar "I'm sorry, I can't do anything. The guy in there is a railway staff member".

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Sardar as a Trainee

A Sardarji joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee. On his first day he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone,"Abey saale! Get me a coffee quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded, "You fool you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?"
"No", replied the trainee.
"It's the Managing Director of the company, you fool!"
The Sardarji shouted back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?"
"No.", replied the Managing Director.
"Good!", replied the Sardarji and put down the phone!

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Engine Driver

One train which was going peacefully on the rail tracks suddenly deviated from the tracks and went to the fields nearby and then came back on the tracks. The passengers were horrified. At the next railway station the driver was caught. He was found to be a Sardar. He was questioned. He explained that there was a man standing on the tracks and he was not moving from there even after lots of honks, etc.
The authorities questioned : Sardarji are you mad! Just to save the life of one person you put the lives of so many passengers in danger!? You should have run over that person. Sardarji said: Exactly! That is what I also decided, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train came very close!

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Car


A sardar wanted to sell his old battered Maruti car which had done more than 100,000 kms. Since nobody was inclined to buy it, he approached his friend to help him dispose it off. The friend advised him to have the mileage meter reading reduced to around 30,000 kms so that he could tell the prospective customer that it has been used sparingly. The sardar liked the idea. A few weeks later the same friend met him and enquired whether he was able to dispose off his car. The sardar replied, "Are you mad? Who sells a car which has done only 30000 kms!" 

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Cricket in Heaven

Two fast friends, Santa Singh and Banta Singh, were great cricket fanatics. They decided that whoever dies first will try to come back in the dreams of the other, and tell the other about the Cricket life in heaven. Santa Singh dies first. One day as Banta was fast sleep, he heard Santa calling him. He was very happy and was eager to know about cricket there. "So, Santa! How is cricket in heaven?" Santa replied, "Hey Banta, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that tomorrow we are going to have a day & night match here in heaven. And the bad news is that you are the opening bowler for tomorrow's match!"

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Decent Sardar's Indecent Speech


Santa Singh was traveling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the Passport size photograph of his son (for college admission). Accidently, the  photograph fell down from his pocket.He started searching for it  frantically & found the same on the floor of the bus. Politely,he  asked  the saree clad female, standing in front of him, "Can you lift that saree? I wanna take a photograph" The rest is history. 

He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted in a hospital. He was surprised to see Banta Singh on the bed next to him,in a still worse condition. Banta started to explain his "Adventure". He had gone to a remote village on some work & due to his high level of intelligence, couldn't finish the work on time. He had missed the last bus from that place. He couldn't find any Hotel. So he approached a nearby house and asked the Owner whether he can stay there  for the night.The Owner replied"I have 2 grown up daughters.Sorry, I can't allow you to stay". He approached the next house and asked whether he can stay there for the night. The Owner replied,"I have 3 grown up daughters. Sorry,I can't allow you to stay". He went towards the next house  and without taking any risks,asked," Do you have "grown up" daughters?". The Owner asked,"WHY?????????" Banta replied," I wanted to stay here for a  night..... "

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