What I Really Meant To Say

 

What I really meant to say is I'm dying here inside

I miss you more each day

There's not a night I haven't cried

And baby here's the truth

I'm still in love with you

That's what I really meant to say

Background:

Sonny threw Carly out after she betrayed him. He totally exiled her from his life and divorced her quickly in the Dominican Republic. She and Michael moved in with Bobby and Roy at the Brownstone. Sonny gave Laura all of Carly's shares in Deception, so to support her and Michael she is working at Luke's. She and her Uncle have become close in the wake of Sonny's treatment of his family members, Carly and Michael. Jason has been unreachable for months. He has been busy tracking down and killing Sorel's men, a mission Sonny had sent him on.

Brownstone:

Bobbie: It's been months now and I am still really worried about her. She's not living Roy; she is just stuck in this trance like state.

Roy: Sonny really ripped her to shreds, but Carly was always so strong, I thought she would have bounced back by now.

B: I wish Jason were here. He would know how to get through to her. Those two have their own way of communicating. I still think that they belong to each other. I just wish they would see that.

R: Why don't I see what I can find out? Maybe I can get a hold of Jason.

B: I hope you can, cause Carly is slipping away more and more each day.

Roy heads out to Harbor View Towers to try to get some information on Jason's whereabouts.

Harbor View Towers:

Roy gets off the elevator and sees Johnny.

J: He's not accepting visitors Roy.

R: I'm not here to see him. I need to talk to you Johnny. I need to find Jason.

J: I can't help you with that.

R: Well maybe you could help Carly. She in pieces man, and right now Jason is the only one that can save her. For god's sake you physically threw her out, how could you do that Johnny? Carly always spoke about you like a friend not a bodyguard. I think you owe her.

J: Sonny would have killed me if I didn't follow his orders. I really don't know where Jason is.

R: But you could find him, or get a message to him?

J: If Sonny ever found out.

R: Then don't let him catch you. Johnny she's slipping away from everyone more and more each day. She needs Jason.

J: I'll see what I can do. I will check in with Benny. Don't show up here again. I will contact you.

R: Thanks Johnny.

Luke's Club

Carly is going through the motions waiting on customers and cleaning up. She was trapped in this darkness and she couldn't see any way out. She had thought that Sonny truly loved her, and that she was doing the right thing for their family, now she and Michael were alone and she was fighting to make a life for the two of them.

Luke: Caroline!!! Hello, Caroline!

Carly stares blankly at him.

L: Little one, you need to snap out of this funk you are in. Corinthos is not worth it; don't let him have this much control over your life. You are a SPENCER and you need to start acting like one.

C: I'll try Uncle Luke.

She gives him a slight smile that breaks his heart. Damn Corinthos he thinks to himself.

Jason entered the club and immediately saw her behind the bar. She was staring blankly into space. She looked so tired and broken. Benny had tracked him down on the island. He was laying low for a while after taking out a lot of Sorel's men. Benny told him that Carly needed him and to call Roy. He did and he knew he had to come back for her and Michael. He continued to watch her step out from behind the bar to wait on someone at a nearby table. She had gotten so thin, he barely recognized the woman in front of him. Roy had filled him in on what had happened. He wished he had been here to talk her out of this latest plan of hers.

He slowly approached the bar where she was pouring drinks.

J: Carly.

She looked up blankly at him. Her eyes looked right through him as if she didn't know him.

J: Carly I'm back.

C: What can I get you to drink?

Her facial expression was unreadable. Normally he could tell exactly what she was thinking and feeling just by looking at her and into those big brown eyes of hers. But now what he saw scared him.

J: How are you?

C: Did you want a beer?

J: Carly talk to me, it's me your best friend. I know what happened.

C: Michael's fine, he is good. He is getting really big.

J: I am sure Michael is fine. I asked how you are?

C: I really have a lot of work to do. I am sure Michael would love to see you while you are in town. Stop and see him before you go.

J: I'm not going anywhere Carly. I am back home to stay. So you WILL have to talk to me.

C: Well, I really have to get back to work. Michael misses having a man in his life. He will be glad to see you while you're here.

J: Carly, have you been listening to me at all? I know what happened with you and Sonny, and I am not going anywhere.

C: Okay well have a good night. She quickly turns away from him and busies herself with customers.

Jason sees Luke watching the whole scene. He motions for Jason to come back to his office. Jason takes one last look at her and goes to talk with Luke.

L: Well, well, Morgan; nice of you to show up.

J: What the hell just happened out there?

L: That is the new Carly. You have your 'friend and mentor' to thank for that. Have you talked with anyone about what happened?

J: Just Roy really. She turned Sonny into the FEDS.

L: Well that is really just half of it. He broke her man. He didn't just tell her to get out. He abused her mentally first then had Johnny physically throw her and Michael out! He stripped her of any pride she had left as well as left her with nothing. Nice friend you left your family with.

J: Why would she go to the FEDS Luke, it doesn't make sense. Carly knows the life we lead. She has always accepted things.

L: Maybe that was with you Jason. But not with Sonny. She felt trapped. She was trying to protect what was left of her family. Sonny isn't like you Jason, he kept her in the dark about everything, even when it came to her and Michael's safety. A person can only live so long like that before they begin to loose themselves. She and Michael were your family, doesn't that mean anything to you? Family before all else Jason! Family before business and Family before so-called friends like Corinthos. He is not a God Jason. I think it is about time you woke up from that little world you've been living in and decide what is important to you.

J: I think I will go and talk to Sonny.

L: You do that Jason; see what your mentor has turned into. Jason?

J: What Luke?

L: If you still love her, fight for her this time. She needs you now more than she ever has before. Think about what I said. Decide what is important to you. Family or power & money. Cause power and money aren't going to keep you warm at night and aren't going to give you love and children. She's always loved you. I am sure she still does. Get to her before she closes her heart forever.

Jason listened to Luke and nodded. He needed to go and talk with Sonny.

J: Watch her for me. I will be back later near closing.

L: Will do.

Jason's mind is spinning. Luke gave him a lot to think about. He was tired. Tired of killing and running and tired of not having his family with him. He did love Carly, he knew he always would, but was it enough? Did she still love him? He needed to get some answers from Sonny first before he did anything else.

Harbor View Towers:

Jason gets off the elevator and sees Johnny.

Johnny: Mr. Morgan, good to see you back.

Jason gets right up in Johnny's face.

J: Johnny if you ever lay a hand on Carly again, you are going to have more to worry about than Sonny. I will kill you myself.

Johnny: I'm sorry, but Sonny gave me an order.

J: And now I am giving you one. Touch her again and you answer to me.

Jason swings open the door to the penthouse. Sonny is at the desk doing paperwork.

S: Hey Jason, good to have you back.

J: You might not think so in a minute.

S: What's going on?

J: What happened with Carly? From what I have heard you threw her out like trash.

S: Well that's what you do with garbage you throw it out. She betrayed me! The lying bitch BETRAYED ME!!

J: What about you Sonny? Who did you betray? First you betrayed me, by sleeping with the woman I was in love with. Then YOU betrayed Carly, by telling her you loved her and would keep her and her family safe. Sounds to me like you are the one who has done the BETRAYING!!

S: Always defending her aren't you Jason. She is nothing, and the sooner you see her for what she really is the better you will be. I won't have you in this organization with a woman like that.

J: I do see Carly for what she really is. She is MY FAMILY, MY BEST FRIEND and the WOMAN I have ALWAYS BEEN IN LOVE WITH. I don't care about you or this organization anymore Sonny. Someone opened my eyes tonight. They made me see what is really important in this life. LOVE AND FAMILY! I intend to get MY FAMILY back, the HELL WITH YOU!

Sonny walked back over to the bar and began pouring himself a drink. Jason took this opportunity to reach for his gun tucked in the back of his pants. He had put the silencer on earlier. He firmly grasped his nine-millimeter and poised his finger on the trigger. Sonny turned back around.

S: You can't just walk away Jason, it doesn't work like that.

J: You're right Sonny.

He pointed the gun at Sonny's heart and pulled the trigger. Sonny's drink fell from his hand first; he looked at Jason in disbelief, and then fell to the floor. Jason stood over him and pointed the gun at Sonny's head.

J: You are NOT GOD Sonny.

He pulled the trigger again, unloading another bullet into Sonny's skull, killing him instantly. Jason put his gun away and walked out of the Penthouse. He stopped in front of Johnny.

J: Get a clean up crew over here and dump the body in the river.

Johnny just stared at him.

J: Now Johnny or do you want to join him?

Johnny: Yes, sir, I mean no sir I don't want to join him. I will take care of it right away.

Jason walked out of Harbor View Towers with a newfound sense of freedom. He had been Sonny's puppet for too long now. He had given up everything to this man he once called a friend and mentor. Almost loosing his family for the second time was the last straw. Now he intended to get his family back once and for all. He jumps on his bike and heads back over to Luke's.

Luke's Club:

L: Well my sweet Caroline, I saw that Morgan is back in town.

C: Yeah, I guess.

L: All right dear niece have a seat and let Uncle Luke fill you in on a few things.

C: I am not in the mood to talk tonight Luke.

L: Well that's good cause I am gonna do all the talking, just sit your little self down and listen!

L: Hešs back Carly, and he says he is staying. You need to start thinking about what you want. Do you love him? Be honest with yourself second chances rarely come around. As I see it you and Jason have a second chance to be together and to have a family. Donšt throw that away because of something that Don Juan mobster Corinthos did to you. Take your life back Caroline! Fight like a SPENCER! FIGHT for LOVE. I see how the two of you still look at each other. For God's sake when the two of you are in a room together sparks are flying everywhere!

C: Jason doesn't feel that way about me, he never has.

L: Well then you need to open those beautiful eyes up Caroline and take a good look at him. For God's sake listen to your heart. If you don't your going loose this chance with him. Okay, now that I said what I needed to, I'll let you get back to work cleaning up.

C: Thanks Luke, I will think about what you said.

Carly returns to putting the chairs up and sweeping. Luke's words hit her heart dead on. She did still love Jason, god she never stopped loving him, but she also knew she had hurt him so badly, she doubts he would ever give her another chance. It's foolish to even dream about being a family again, get over it Carly, she tells herself.

Jason enters the club and spots her sweeping. She looked like she was struggling with herself over something. He knew right then that his life was with her, it always had been. If he was honest with himself, right when Carly entered his life she had claimed his heart. Now he just needed to tell her that. He walked quietly over to the jukebox and selected a song.

Carly heard the music come on. She knew the song all to well, it always made her think about Jason.

C: Okay Uncle Luke I GET THE HINT!!

Jason smiled and laughed, there was a glimpse of his Carly. Now to get her back completely.

It took me by surprise when I say you standing there

Close enough to touch, breathing the same air

You asked me how I'd been

I guess that's when I smiled and said just fine

Oh but baby I was lying

What I really meant to say is I'm dying here inside

I miss you more each day

Therešs not a night I haven't cried

And baby here's the truth

I'm still in love with you

That's what I really meant to say

Jason walked out onto the floor where Carly was.

J: I told you I'd be back.

C: Jase.

J: Well at least you are talking to me now, that's a good sign.

They both laugh. Jason moves closer to her. Time stops and they both just stare at each other listening to the words of the song. The words that were hitting home to both of them.

And as you walked away the echo of my words

Cut just like a knife

Cut so deep it hurt

I held back the tears

Held onto my pride and watched you go

I wonder if you'll ever know

What I really mean to say is I'm dying here inside

I miss you more each day

There's not a night I haven't cried

And baby here's the truth

I'm still in love with you

That's what I really meant to say

What I really mean to say is I'm really not that strong

No matter how I try I'm still holding on

And here's the honest truth I'm still in love with you

That's what I really meant to say

J: I know what happened Carly. I also know why you did it. I am just sorry you were even put in that position in the first place.

Carly's eyes filled with tears and a few began to run down her face.

C: I've been so scared Jase.

He inches closer to her and brushes her tears away with his finger.

J: You don't have to be afraid anymore, I am back baby. I came back for my family.

C: Jase, I don't understand, you have always pushed me away.

J: Carly, I know that I have never been good at expressing my feelings or saying the right words. But you have to know that I LOVE YOU! I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU. I always have been.

C: I didn't think you would ever say that. I have always been the one driving you crazy and chasing after you. I have made such a mess of things Jason how can you ever forgive me.

J: Carly, from the first day you came into my life you claimed my heart. I tried to fight it, and I have lied to myself about it, but you have always had my love and my heart, only you. We both have made lots of mistakes. I would have to say we are pretty even in that department. I want another chance with you and Michael. I want us to be a family again. We can start with a clean slate.

C: I love you so much Jase. There is nothing more in this world I want more than for us to be a family again.

She propels herself into his arms, where he welcomes her home with his strong arms. He grabs her face in his hands and gently brushes his lips against hers. She smiles into the kiss whispering, "It took you long enough Morgan". He laughs then deepens their kiss; she purrs and opens her mouth welcoming him in. He slips his tongue in to meet hers and to reclaim her as his own. He would never let her go ever again.

Luke watches the scene in the background. He smiles and quietly: "Well it is about time those two got their heads out of their asses and saw what was always right in front of them. Maybe now things will quiet down for a while, NAH, what am I thinking this is a Spencer/Morgan union were talking about.

And here's the honest truth

I'm still in love with you

Thatšs what I really meant to say

 

The End!

 

 

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