Gone

(inspired by the NSYNC song)

 

The darkness surrounded him, he had finally had hit the point of numbness. It had taken him all day and most of the night to get to this point but he welcomed it. Slumped down on the floor surrounded by empty bottles of liquor he just sat staring out large glass patio door over looking the city.

I've been sittin here

Can't get you off mind

I try my best to be a man and be strong

I drive myself insane

Wishing I could touch your face

But the truth remains

Your gone (gone)

Gone (baby your)

Gone (your gone)

(Baby girl you're) Gone

Gone

Inevitably like always she invaded his thoughts. Her long golden hair, her smile and the way she loved him. The ache quickly came back to him. His heart and his body just ached for her. He loved her so much but she was gone.

*****************

Sonny gulped down his drink before going to check on Jason. It had been weeks since Jason had pushed Carly away. A move Sonny told him would keep her safe. Now he wasn't so sure of his advice. The pain he was watching his best friend go through was awful. Jason had been drinking heavily and only left the penthouse to do some enforcing, something that was usually left to Johnny or Francis. But it was the only thing that seemed to help Jason deal with his anger and hurt so Sonny let him do it. Truth be told Jason was very good at it, almost too good at it.

Sonny walked across the hallway to Jason's.

S: Hey Johnny. He come out at all today?

J: No sir. But it has finally quieted down in there. He has been smashing things all day. I peaked in and he is just sitting on the floor looking at the window right now.

S: Okay, I don't want to set him off again. Just come get me if he starts trashing the place again.

J: Will do. Sir?

S: What is it Johnny?

J: Isn't there a way we can get Carly to come home? She can help him. One look at her being back and he would snap right out of this.

S: I know. I am beginning to realize that Jason pushing her away wasn't the smartest plan. He needs her, but you know how hard she is to guard and keep safe. I just don't know how to protect her and keep her alive for him.

J: I think that if someone told Carly straight out what was going on, she would be careful and listen. I mean it's worth a try isn't it? Jason can't go on like this much longer. He is going to drink himself to an early death.

S: I know. I will try to locate Carly and talk to her. I don't know how well she is going to listen but I will try. Johnny if I do get her to come home I need you to be her private guard. Jason and I need someone who knows her tricks as well as cares for her to keep her safe.

J: I can do that. I know how much Carly means to Jason. I won't let anything happen to her.

S: Alright then Johnny. I will see what I can do. Just continue to keep an eye on him.

J: You got it.

**************************************

There's a thousand words that I could say

To make you come home (yeah)

Seems too long ago you walked way

Left me alone

And I remember what you said to me

Kept on acting so strange

And maybe I was too blind to see

That you needed a change

Was it something I said, to make you turn away

To make you walk out and leave me cold

(Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm)

If I could just find a way

To make it so that she'll be right here

right now

He struggled to get to his feet the stiffness from sitting on the floor evident as he managed to make his way to the kitchen. He opened the swinging door and walked a few steps into the kitchen then stopped. He felt her everywhere. He closed his eyes as an image popped into his mind.

Flashback:

Carly was standing barefoot with her hair piled on top of her head only wearing one of his T-shirts. She had gotten up in the middle of the night looking for something to eat. He found her with the refrigerator door open riffling through things. He snuck up on her wrapping his arms around her from behind.

J: What are you doing?

C: I'm starving! Someone gave me quite the work out and forgot to feed me tonight.

J: Well that wasn't very nice.

C: I know. So I'm looking for something to eat.

J: Let's order some pizza from that joint open all night.

C: Mmmm sounds good.

He started kissing her neck, while his hands ran up her hips drifting higher and higher. 'Jase.' (she purred).

J: We need to kill sometime before the pizza gets here.

She turned around facing him. He lifted her up and set her on the counter. She wrapped her legs around his waist while he began his assault with his mouth and hands.

End of Flashback:

He coiled back out of the kitchen as if someone had burned him. Everywhere, she was everywhere. There wasn't a spot in this place that didn't have a memory associated with it. She had brought so much life into this place and made it a home for them.

I don't wanna make excuses babe

Won't change the fact that your gone (no, no)

But if there's something that I could do

Won't you please let me know

Time is passing so slowly now

'Coz what's my life without you

Baby I could change my every day

Baby I don't want to

I'll just hang around and find some things to do

Take my mind off missing you (take my mind off you)

Yes I know in my heart you can't say that you don't love me too

Please say you do

Exhausted and totally beaten down he made his way out to the couch and sank down into it. He sighed and closed his eyes as his hands smoothed over the cold black leather. His mind took him back to the day Carly had bought this couch.

Flashback:

He had come home that day to find the penthouse dark with candles glowing all around the room. As he entered he immediately spotted Carly lying on this new black leather couch wearing only a red lacy bra and panties set.

C: Surprise!

J: Mmmm great surprise.

He threw his jacket on the floor and made his way straight over to her. She stood to greet him. He took her into his arms.

C: Welcome home.

J: I missed you today.

C: I'm glad.

He laughed and leaned in kissing her deeply. Before he could get too carried away she pushed him away.

C: Hey you didn't even notice.

J: Oh I noticed you baby. You look gorgeous.

C: Well thank you, but I mean our new couch. Isn't it great?

Jason looked at the couch. J: Oh yeah it's nice. But baby I would much rather look at you.

C: Oh really?

Her hands found his shirt quickly shedding it off his body. Then she pushed him backwards onto the couch, and began to climb on top of him straddling his waist.

C: So you said you missed me today?

J: I always miss you baby.

C: I missed you to. She lowered her head and began placing kisses along his chest.

End of Flashback:

The tears stung his eyes as he clearly recalled that long night of lovemaking. They christened the couch over and over again. He longed to feel her warm body against his again. He would give anything to have her back, to turn back time. He had pushed her away, told her he didn't love her. The pain in her eyes when he lied to her shattered his heart. At that time it was the only thing he could think of to keep her safe. As long as she was with him she would be a target.

I've been sittin here

Can't get you off mind

I try my best to be a man and be strong

I drive myself insane

Wishing I could touch your face

But the truth remains

Your gone (gone)

Gone (baby your)

Gone (your gone)

(Baby girl you're) Gone

Gone

Gone

Gone

***************************

She exited Sonny's penthouse the tears still running down her face. Why had Jason put them through all this pain? If he had only come to her and been honest they could have worked things out together. Instead he was cruel and told her he didn't love her and pushed her away. After Sonny telling her their plan and that Jason really did love her she had to go and give him one more chance. She needed to make him see that if they worked together as a team there was nothing they couldn't do. As long as they were together they could handle anything.

She approached the door to the penthouse.

She smiled sadly at Johnny.

C: Hi Johnny.

J: I'm glad to see you Carly. He's a mess. He hasn't left the place for weeks. He really needs you.

C: Well we will see Johnny, thanks.

She took a deep breath and slowly opened the door. The place was pitch black; the smell of alcohol hit her immediately. She entered slowly, kicking an empty bottle on her way. She squinted her eyes to try to make out any forms. As she made her way closer to the couch she saw Jason. Quietly she kneeled down beside him. She scrutinized over his face. He hadn't shaven, his clothing was all disheveled and he reeked of alcohol. "God Jason what have we done to each other?" She gently traced his cheekbone with her fingertip.

He inhaled deeply. His lungs suddenly filling with her intoxicating vanilla scent. He must be hallucinating he swore he could feel her presence. Slowly he opened his eyes. He closed them tightly then opened them again, wanting so desperately to believe what he was seeing. Her tears sparkled in the moonlight, as the pain in her eyes was still evident.

C: Jase why didn't you just tell me the truth?

J: Carly?

C: God baby, look at you. What are you doing to yourself?

She reached out and touched the side of his face. The tears flowed down his face as he leaned into her touch. She leaned in and gently kissed his lips. His hands slipped into her hair pulling her onto him. He desperately clung to her. His lips wanting never to relinquish hers.

Am I there in your heart

Baby why don't you see

That I need you with me

Every minute with her she was healing him, filling his heart and soul with hope again. His hands tightened around her trying to get her as close to him as possible. Carly felt his desperation and tried to reassure him.

C: I'm not going anywhere Jase. I will never let you push me away again.

J: I needed you safe baby. It would kill me if anything ever happens to you.

C: Looks like you've already been doing a pretty good job at trying to kill yourself.

J: I needed to numb the pain ya know?

C: Yeah I do. (she closed her eyes fighting back the tears)

His hands held her face. "Baby, god I am so sorry I hurt you."

C: Jase, you need to promise me something. If you need me to be extra careful or if you want me to stay locked up in this place I will. Just tell me. I will stand by you no matter what. I will do anything to be with you. Just promise me please.

J: I promise that whatever comes up we will handle it together. I love you baby. I will never try to push you away again.

C: I love you too Jase. These last few weeks have been hell. I never want to be away from you that long again.

J: Never again baby. Never again.

C: Good now come here.

She captured his lips, nibbling on his lips alternating from top to bottom. He growled as she worked her magic, releasing all the tension and pain with her every movement. He had her back and he vowed to never let her go ever again.

THE END!