The Complete Sardarji Encylopedia  

Sardarji is buying a TV

Do you have color TVs?" "Sure." 

Give me a green one, please." 

* * * * * 

Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to 

fly to Amritsar?" Just a sec," says the rep. 

Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up. 

* * * * * 

EMPLOYMENT.. 

Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a 

job. He promptly filled the columns titled 

NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column 

Salary Expected" : He was not sure as to what to be 

filled there. After much thought he wrote : Yes 

* * * * * 

CROCODILE BOOTS.. 

Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if 

you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off 

to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is 

being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and 

watch him killing a huge one . He walks over the reptile, 

checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st 

and *again* barefeet!" 

* * * * * 

A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny 

object. He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?" 

The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask." 

The sardar then asks, "What does it do?" 

The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot 

and it keeps cold things cold." The sardar says, "I'll 

take it!" The next day, he walks into work with his 

new thermos. His sardar boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with 

you?" He said, "It's a thermos flask." 

The boss then says, "What does it do?" He 

replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." 

The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?" 

The sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a 

coke." 

* * * * * 

A Sardar took an answering machine home and 

fixed it home somewhere in Rajasthan, but two days later 

disconnected it because he was getting 

complaints like 

"Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai" 

* * * * * 

What will a Sardarji do after taking 

photocopies ? 

He will compare it with the original for 

spelling mistakes !! 

* * * * * 

What will a sardarji do if he wants an 

additional white sheet of paper ? 

(he already has one and he wants one more..) He 

takes a photcopy of the white paper !!! 

* * * * * 

Once there was a meeting of all the Surd 

freedom fighters. They were planning for free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh..we'll get Punjab from 

India but how would we develop it?" 

That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly 

Banta Singh replied, "No problem! we'll attack USA, 

it would take over us and then we would be a state of 

USA and we'll automatically get developed." 

All the surds became happy on this very simple 

solution but an old surd did not utter a single 

word. 

Someone asked him why he wasn't happy. The surd 

replied, "OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD 

HAPPEN 

IF BY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA ?????" 

* * * * * 

Sardar went to the appliance store sale and 

found a bargain. "I would like to buy this small TV," 

he told 

the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to 

SARDARs," he replied. 

He hurried home removed his turban and changed 

his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman 

"I would like to buy this TV." 

Sorry, we don't sell to 

Sardars," Salesman replied. "Damn, he 

recognized me," he thought. he went for a complete disguise 

this time, 

haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big 

sunglasses, then waited a 

few days before he again approached the 

salesman. 

"I would like to buy this TV." 

"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied. 

Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Sardar?" "Because that's a microwave," he replied. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie? Because 

below 18 

was not allowed. 

* * * * * 

How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence? 

Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear 

* * * * * 

What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand 

grenade at you? 

Pull the pin and throw it back. 

* * * * * 

What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at 

you? Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in 

his mouth. 

* * * * * 

How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday? 

Tell him a joke on Wednesday. 

* * * * * 

What is the Sardar doing when he holds his 

hands tightly over his ears? 

Trying to hold on to a thought. 

* * * * * 

Why do Sardars work seven days a week? 

So you don't have to re-train them on Monday. 

* * * * * 

Why can't Sardars make ice cubes? They always 

forget the recipe. 

* * * * * 

How did the Sardar try to kill the bird? He 

threw it off a cliff. 

 * * * * * 

What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to 

ear? A wind tunnel. 

 * * * * * 

What do you see when you look into a Sardar's 

eyes? The back of his head. 

 * * * * * 

What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer? 

Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!). 

 * * * * * 

What do you call a sardar who has only one 

drink? 

Just-one Singh. 

 * * * * *  

Why does Sardar always smile during lightning 

storms? They think their picture is being taken. 

 * * * * * 

Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their 

shoes? Toes Go In First. 

 * * * * * 

How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax? 

It has a stamp on it. 

 * * * * * 

Why can't Sardar dial 911? 

They can not find the eleven on the phone 

 * * * * * 

How do you get Sardar on the roof? 

Tell him the drinks are on the house. 

 * * * * * 

Oh, look at the dead bird." 

Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where? 

 * * * * * 

What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common? 

You always hear about them but you never see 

them. 

 * * * * * 

Why does it take longer to build a Sardar 

snowman as 

opposed to a regular one? 

You have to hollow out the head. 

 * * * * * 

TO LOSE WEIGHT.. 

The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight 

kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 

34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called 

the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he 

had a problem. "What's the problem?"asked the doctor. 

"I'm 2400 kms from home." 

 * * * * * 

TRAIN TO LUDHIANA.. 

Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a 

railway station. Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take 

this train to Ludhiana?" "No," answers the Railway 

man. Can I?" asks Gani Singh. 

* * * * * 

A sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and 

when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in 

his seat when his friend asks him "kyon sardarji, kya 

baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai" 

Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki 

cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata " 

* * * * * * 

Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the 

railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken 

with him. Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai ye 

sab kyon leke baithe ho?" Sardarji replies "Saali 

train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun" 

 * * * * * 

Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He 

felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him 

on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station 

arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 

20 rupees, the sardarji deserved more service. 

So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber 

quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, 

the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. 

Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly 

screamed when he saw the mirror. Said his wife " What's 

the matter?" Replied he "The cheat on the train has 

taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else" 

* * * * * * 

Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to 

his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw 

him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you 

thanking God for ?" The sardarji replied "I am thanking 

Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at 

that time, otherwise I would have been missing too." 

* * * * * * 

Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in 

the birth certificate "Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: 

Chinese." "How come you write "Chinese" when 

both parents are Sikh?" " Aah, Sardarji read a 

newspaper, it says that every 4th person born on the Earth 

now is a Chinese." 

* * * * * * 

Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were 

sent to the outer space. The ground control issues 

commands Rubi!" "Woof!" (its the barking sound) "Press 

the red button." "Woof! Woof!" "Moti!" 

Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!" 

Sardarji!" "Woof." "Stop barking, feed the dogs 

and don't touch anything!" 

* * * * * * 

 

Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street 

which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he 

wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Sardarji says 

"Yes". "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." 

The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having 

waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was 

taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is 

again walking along the same street and the same man 

asks him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand 

rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The Sardarji gives him 

the thousand and says "I am not a fool.This time, 

you wait and I'll go get a ladder." 

 * * * * *

DOUBLE DECKER BUS RIDE 

Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in 

Bombay. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Santa 

Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But 

unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when 

the rush was over, Santa went upstairs to see 

friend Banta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition 

clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to 

death. He says, "Arre Banta Singh ! What the heck's 

goin' on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride 

down there ? Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've 

got a driver.*" 

 * * * * * 

Santa Singh with two red ears went to his 

doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears 

and he answered, " I was ironing a shirt and the phone 

rang - but instead of picking up the phone I 

accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." " 

Oh Dear! 

" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ....what 

happened to your other ear?" "The scoundrel 

called back." 

 * * * * *

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