True Story � The Crush
4th September 1996
Today was the loneliest day of my life. It started out great! But� Then� Went to shreds by noon. First a little taste of English class, that went good. Then keyboarding, that went okay. Then biology, oh wow, a test! Then onto band, one of the best classes of the day. Mark McAfee came up to me and put his arm on my shoulder and said, �Is it okay, if we just be friends?�
�NO!� I thought, I felt like dying or melting away into anyone�s body. �Uhm, I guess,� I said kind of sadly. Mark is one of the cutest guys in this whole school, or so I thought. I walked away and grabbed my snare and sticks and sat in my spot next to Jeff Henderson. Jeff and Mark are close friends, and I was hoping, really hoping, that Jeff could talk Mark into being my very own boyfriend. I asked, �Can you talk to Mark?�
�I�ll try,� he responded.
�Okay,� I said kind of relieved.
After lunch, I went to Algebra. Jeff was in that class also. I told him over and over again, �Jeff, I�ll never get a boyfriend!�
He got mad and he told me to ask Tonia Johnson and his girlfriend Amy Caldwell how to be persuasive.
At the time, I had no clue what �persuasive� meant. When Jeff told me it meant �being wanted,� I almost broke down and cried. I didn�t know I was unwanted.
I went to my next class, upset, Mark stopped my on the way. He asked what was wrong. I said one simple word, �everything,� and I continued walking.
�Like what?� he followed me, concerned and cute as always.
�You wouldn�t understand!� I told him, I felt like falling into his arms, just then he put his arm around me. I felt like crying. Phhhyeah, and look like a wuss to the cutest guy on this planet? No!
He looked at me and said, �I have to get to class.�
�Okay, bye.� I said, I wish I wasn�t such a coward. I kept walking. I wish I would have just told him how I was feeling. �By the way?� I asked myself, �How was I feeling?� I knew it, Jeff knew it. I felt unloved and left out. Which is, and was in fact the truth. I opened the door to the great band room. Right away my classmates knew I was sad. Of course since I was sitting with my head down covering my eyes.
�What�s wrong Milissa? You can tell Uncle Robert!� Said the annoying drama director.
�Everything,� I muttered sadly.
�What�s wrong?� Amy Wood and Zeno Jonas whispered.
�I got turned down today by Mark McAfee,� as I said his name my heart skipped a beat.
�Oh,� said Amy.
I felt like asking Amy and Zeno to talk to him, but I knew it wouldn�t do any good.
By the end of class I was feeling like a major loser�
When I got into study hall� I finished one paper in like five minutes. The next paper I tried to start. But it didn�t work. I gave up, I thought about Mark constantly. And everyone knew that. I just didn�t know it would hurt so much when he said, �just be friends.� It felt as if he ripped out my heart, did the Mexican hat dance, the cha cha, and then threw it in a blender and hit that nasty button frappe. For a few minutes I thought about giving up on guys forever� but then I thought again! Mark McAfee is just a guy. Oh well. I guess I just get to suffer. I shrugged, and stepped onto the bus to go home.
I couldn�t believe how much it hurt to get turned down� That was the first real turn down I�ve had. I really liked Mark, and I probably will feel like that for a while.
I got off the bus and once I got in the house I tried to do my homework. No luck. The power was out and one of my best friends called, Maribel Rivera. I told her everything. She said I should just shut up, slow down, and eventually someone will notice me� Jeff said almost the same thing. Maybe I should listen to my friends more often.
