By POLO
I was fine until she stopped screaming, not that anyone cared how I was, I understood that, didn't agree with their reasons, but understood.
She had called for him for what seemed like an eternity, and it hurt. More than the biting wind which stung my eyes, more than the fear of what was about to become. Every time she cried out for him, another crack tore through my heavy heart.
It was worse when she stopped though. Why had she? Was it a sign that she had admitted defeat? Was she accepting death as the only outcome?
It frightened me. I didn�t want her to die. I loved her. I tried to call out to her. To tell her to fight. To beg her not to die, I wasn't going to after all - was I?
This wasn't how I had planned. I'm not really this evil. All I wanted was for things to be how they used to be, how they were meant to be. We used to laugh together, more than I have ever seen her laugh recently.
Some said that was because of me, it was my fault her beautiful smile had been replaced with a frown. I disagreed, tried to show them all that Alex was happy with me. But they chose not to see.
Where were they when she kissed me on the mountain side, and she did you know. Granted I reached for her first, but she didn�t stop me at first. She reached for me, stroked my cheek, kissed me back.
I forget what happened after that. I don�t need to remember.
I knew all I needed too and it should have been simple from then on. But it wasn't. She stopped being mine again. Went back to him, with his secure and mundane existence. That wasn't my Alex, she loved fun and adventure like me. What was I suppose to do - sit back and watch her leave me again?
And that�s why. Why, when I finally knew she would never be mine, no one else could have her either.
Yes it was cruel, painful for those who believed that they loved her. But no one loved her like I did, and we all deserve to be with the one who loves us most.
I think I did Tom a favour really. She couldn�t have been 'the one' for him. How could she have been, she was MY 'one'.
So why then, had she given up. Why was she not crying out for life. Was I wrong? Did she really not love me back? Had I made a mistake?
There is nothing like regret to make you feel alive, and as I fell to my almost certain end, I have never felt more alive in my life.
I wondered if she felt the same - had I given her that feeling. What was it she was regretting? Meeting me or leaving me?
No one knows me better than Alex, she knows I can�t cope on my own, that I need someone always. She also knew that someone was her.
That�s what made it harder, I had just seconds to remember, before the water hit me like a hundred knives, squeezing my lungs and filling my throat, and then I would be no more.
And the last thing, the only thing I could think, was that no one loved me. That I was completely alone.
Granted, Alex was terrified as she fell, knowing she would never see her friends again, but at least she knew she was loved, how much she was cared for.
I died alone, and that�s worse.