By Lisa Kennard

Kate turned over in bed, rolling into the comfortable niche of Will’s body. Sunlight was pouring into the window and the bright light pierced through her eyes, forcing her to open them. She blinked, taking a few seconds just to lay still, next to the regular breathing of her husband. So gentle, so even, so normal. Her hair lay splayed across the pillow and she brushed a strand away from her eyes as she remembered events of the night before. It had been one of those nights that you never wanted to end, but it had, just like they always do. It had been perfect. Her, Will and Charlie, together and happy.

Kate chuckled softly to herself, refusing to obey the ticking clock on her bedside table. She didn’t want to get up yet, but at the same time she knew she had to. Kate’s eyes moved to Will’s sleeping form. She watched his chest rise and full, sleeping so peacefully next to her and a smile spread across her face. She stroked his hair and kissed his forehead, Will stirring from slumber at her touch.

"Morning sleepy," she said as he moved slightly next to her, a soft murmur indicating his pleasure at her contact. She leant her head over him for a kiss and their lips met, lingering for as long as possible, putting off the moment when they had to get up and face the day. But that moment came, and Kate pushed back the covers dragging herself out of bed and away from Will as she headed for the shower. Will slumped back down on the pillow, a smile across his face. He was one very happy man.

****

"Morning," Will chirped as he entered the Beeches. Four faces turned to him, smiling at the content look on his face. His happiness was infectious, and they found themselves buzzing with the same sense of energy.

"You had a good night, I take it?" Tom grinned at the senior doctor.

"Well, come on then, tell us all about it," Alex looked cheekily at him and Kerri hung close by waiting for his answer.

"Well," Will said pausing cruelly for effect. "We’ve decided to try for another baby."

"That’s brilliant!" The team chorused, happy for Will and he beamed at them with delight. Alex’s enthusiasm was tinged with a faint disappointment at the news, but it was covered quickly by Carol who came around the desk to give Will a hug. The others did not notice and Alex smiled along with the rest of them, ignoring Carol’s questioning glances, pretending everything was alright. It was good news after all and she was happy for them.

Will moved towards his consultation room, his bag in one hand, his jacket laying over his arm. With his free hand he took his post from Carol and leaving the others talking animatedly outside, he settled in his room to sift through the envelopes. Letters from patients, referrals, the normal mail a doctor receives day after day. But there was one envelope that seemed out of place. Partly due to the American postmark, partly due to the familiar hand written address on the front. It jumped out at Will, making him stop for a moment in disbelief. It couldn’t be?

Will pulled his glasses from their case and placed them on the end of his nose. Tossing the other post aside, he tore open the back of the envelope and pulled out its contents. A letter. Sentimental, reflective, happy and sad. Will read the lines of writing, repeating the words in his head. He couldn’t help thinking that there was something hidden within those sentences, but maybe he was just imagining it. It had been a long time. A very long time. But soon, a woman from his past would be arriving at the airport and she wanted to see him.

A sudden knock at the door, made Will jump and he guiltily pushed the letter to the bottom of the pile as Carol entered. "Thought you might like a cup of tea before your first patient," she said placing it down in front of him on the desk.

"Thanks," Will smiled at her, only half listening to what she had said. His mind was wandering, but thankfully the usually perceptive Carol hadn’t noticed. She was still thinking about his announcement and Will did not need to explain his odd state of mind. His head was full of thoughts and many questions. Why? What had happened? Surely something must be wrong for her to come trawling all of the way back to England. Sighing, Will picked up his cup of tea and sipped the hot sugary water. I guess, I’ll just have to wait and see, he thought.

****

Will stood in the crowded airport, scanning the people who moved past him in all different directions. Families, couples, old and young, but not the face he was looking for. He didn’t really know why he had come and he felt guilty for being there, so perhaps it was for the best if he didn’t see her amongst the throng in the airport lounge. Perhaps he should just go home and forget about it…

…"Will?" A voice just behind him spoke. He didn’t need to turn around to know it was her.

"Sarah!" his eyes smiled back at her, struggling with the luggage she was carrying. She gave up and put it down at her feet, as Will moved towards her to take her things.

"I wasn’t sure you’d come," she admitted.

"I almost didn’t," he replied honestly. They had not parted on bad terms, but their history was not pleasant. Will thought back to the years that they had spent together. There had been good times, but mostly it had been a struggle. He remembered it well and the memories stirred a slight bitterness in him. Why was he here?

Sarah looked just like he remembered; her tight spiral curls, her high cheekbones and bright eyes. Although he had spoken to her since she had emigrated, this was the first time he had actually seen her. He had kept in touch with the boys, spoken to them as often as possible, seen them as much as he could, but it was hard when they were living the other side of the Atlantic. He guessed that was why he had come today, for their sake. But they were not with her!

Sarah seemed to read his mind, "They send their love!"

"Huh?" Will glanced at her, bleary eyed from his distant reverie. He had forgotten how much he missed them. Forgotten how much he had hated Sarah for taking them away from him.

"What are you doing here?" the direct question surprised her and their polite charade dropped. Her eyes glazed over, taking on a distant, pained appearance that worried Will. She avoided the question, and reaching down for the last bag that sat on the floor between her legs, she set off through the airport. Will sighed and followed after her, "I’ll give you a lift to Cardale."

****

Sarah checked into a hotel on the outskirts of Cardale. Will had been amused by her desire to continue living the life of luxury, rather than renting a room at The Black Swan like most other people would have done, but then Sarah was like that. Materialistic, self-indulgent, selfish . . . she really hadn’t changed. They had not spoken much in the car. Instead they had sat in a kind of artificial silence, awkward, penetrating, uncomfortable. Neither knew what to say to the other, but at the same time there were many questions to be answered. Will was glad when the journey was over.

Letting himself in through his own front door, he was met by Kate who entered the hall from the kitchen where she was cooking dinner.

"Oh hello stranger," she said with a devilish grin on her face. "How was the meeting?"

"The meeting? Oh you know, long and boring," Will shrugged, deceiving his wife yet again. He hated lying to her, but at the same time he couldn’t help it. He wasn’t sure how she would react if she knew the truth. Would she accept it? Understand it? or just resent it? Maybe he should just be honest. That would be the advice he would have given to anyone in the same situation. But then, it was him facing the dilemma and things always look more complicated when you’re experiencing it firsthand.

Will sighed under his breath, trying to cover his turmoil as his hugged his wife. Somehow Sarah had affected him and he had regressed back to the inadequate, failing man that she had made him feel while they were married. But this time he could do something about it.

"I’ve seen Sarah!" he blurted out the truth, wanting to be totally honest with his wife. And now he had spoken those words he focused on Kate for her reaction . . .

"Oh!" Kate aimed at indifference, but missed. Will new her too well and whilst he appreciated her efforts at pretending everything was ok, he wanted her to be honest with him too.

"Kate?" Will asked cautiously. He was frightened to push her, but felt that they needed to talk about this. Sarah Preston was an issue for the couple, whether they wanted her to be or not.

"What did she want? What’s she doing here? Where did you see her? Are the boys ok? Were they with her?" The questions tumbled out of Kate’s mouth.

"I don’t know, I don’t know, the airport, yes they are fine, but no they weren’t with her!" Will answered, grinning slightly at his wife to relax the situation. She smiled back, but Will could see the deep, lost look in her eyes. "She sent me a letter a couple of days ago…" he reached into the back zip of his bag and pulled it out. "…here let me show it to you."

****

"Hi, I’m home," Charlie called from the hall as he shut the front door on his way in.

"Hi sweetheart, did’ya have a nice day at school?" Kate called back. As Charlie entered the living room, his mum and dad were shuffling about with something under the cushion on the settee. He was curious but decided to say nothing, not wanting to embarrass his parents, or himself for that matter. He was well aware of their ‘healthy’ relationship and guessed it was something to do with that.

"Yeah, it was fine," he looked at their faces, trying to read their secretive expressions. They seemed weird, pre-occupied, worried, but he couldn’t understand quite what was going on. Deciding to leave them to it, he walked into the kitchen to grab an apple, then disappeared upstairs to do his homework.

As soon as Charlie had gone, Will pulled the letter out from under the cushion where Kate had stuffed it.

"You don’t want him to know?" he asked.

Kate shook her head, "Not until we know what it is she’s after."

She noticed the confused expression on Will’s face. "Look… I’m sorry Will, I just…I just don’t trust her."

Will placed an arm around his wife and rested his head against hers. "As long as you trust me?" he asked. "I promise I’ll tell you everything in future. No more secrets."

"No more secrets!" she copied his sentiment, reinforcing its meaning. They agreed to be totally honest with each other and when the time was right, if they needed to, they would tell Charlie. They were keeping him in the dark, trying to protect him, even though they didn’t know quite what it was they were trying to protect him from. It was in his best interest, they thought. Why worry him if they didn’t have to? But it still amounted to the same thing. They were keeping a secret, and secrets can be very dangerous…!

****

Will slumped down at the table in the meeting room with his cup of tea. He sighed as he stared deep into his cup, frustrated by not knowing what was going on with Sarah. He had been distant at work over the last few days and the others were beginning to notice.

"Alright there Will?" Alex asked as she came in to make herself a coffee.

"Fine!" he said, but he didn’t sound it.

Tom moved into the room behind Alex and wrapped his arms around her waist. "You making one for me?" he asked cheekily.

Alex hit him lightly on the nose in reply. "You want one Will?" she asked, reaching for another cup.

Will motioned towards his tea on the table, untouched and cold. "I’m alright thanks," he pushed it away from him, sighed and got up to go. "Can you two cover for me this lunch time?"

"Yeah sure," Alex said growing concerned for her friend. She exchanged a look with Tom, but he just shrugged. There was something up with Will, but they couldn’t work out what. Alex motioned Tom to follow him for a chat and he left the meeting room to speak to Will.

As he approached Will’s door, he heard voices from inside. Actually, he realised, it was just one voice….it was Will’s and he was talking on the phone.

"Yeah…..ok…..so you’ll meet me at the house at one……I know……but I need to talk to you….I’ll make us some lunch…..ok then….."

Tom skulked off back to Alex, not wanting to interrupt Will.

"Well," she asked upon his return.

"Problems with Kate I think," he said, remembering the phone conversation. "He’s cooking lunch!"

****

"Sarah, are you going to tell me what’s up, what it is you are doing here…or am I going to have to guess?" Will looked at his ex-wife across the kitchen table, but she didn’t answer. "You know I can’t help you unless you tell me."

She still didn’t answer. Looking from her plate, she met Will’s eyes but turned away again, focusing back on the food in front of her, stirring it with her fork.

"Is it the boys?"

"No!" she said, then added quickly, "they’re both fine!"

"Is it Michael?" Will remembered the man she had gone to America with. Michael Poole. The man who had become her husband…..become a replacement father for his kids. His name left a bitter taste in his mouth as he choked back the jealousy he felt towards him. Although their marriage had been over, Will couldn’t help thinking that he had somehow taken away everything that belonged to him.

Sarah tensed at the mention of his name, but she did not want to participate in a conversation about him. "Look, can we just finish our lunch first?"

"No," he said rather angrily. He hadn’t meant to sound so harsh, but the frustration was building inside him. "What’s he done Sarah? Huh?"

Her silence annoyed him.

"C’mon Sarah? Tell me!"

She looked up from her plate and Will saw the tears running down her face. Tears that made him forget his anger. Tears that made him pity her, feel sorry for her, want to comfort her.

Getting up from the table, he moved around to where she sat. "Oh Sarah," he said pulling her head in towards his chest. He cradled her in his arms and Sarah appreciated his kind gesture. In her moment of weakness he was there for her, and would be there for her again in the future. No matter what had happened between them in the past, Will would always be there…

****

Two figures met up together in an embrace in front of him. They seemed close. He could sense their connection from where he was standing. Comfortable, familiar, relaxed in each others company. They were two people who had known each other for a long time and more intimately than Charlie could ever imagine.

His imagination ran away with him as he lingered in the hallway, next to the kitchen. His mind buzzing with new emotions, his heart pounding in his chest as he stood and stared. How could he? Charlie thought as he watched.

He’d aspired to be like Will and always regarded him as his ‘real’ Dad. He had been too young to remember much else anyway, but Will had always treated him like his son. They shared a connection, a bond that only a parent and child could feel, but now all of that felt threatened. Charlie watched the scene in front of him and realised that the man he loved as his father could not be trusted. Here was his Dad……in their house……..with another woman…….

At that moment, Will pulled away from Sarah as he sensed another figure in the room. He lifted his eyes and they met Charlie’s, connecting with the baneful stare on his son’s face. As their gaze locked, Will realised what his son was thinking. It was a kind of telepathy, a sudden realisation, as if a message had been transported from one to the other.

"Charlie?" he appealed to his son, wanting to explain.

Sarah turned around to see Charlie in the doorway.

"No!" screamed Charlie, recognising the woman for the first time. Turning on his heel, he headed back out of the front door where he had just entered a few moments before.

"Charlie?" Will called after him, but was met with the front door being slammed in his face. "CHARLIE?"

****

"What?" Kate cried as Will told her what had happened. She stared over his shoulder at the woman sitting on the edge of her chair behind him. She couldn’t help blaming Sarah, after all if she hadn’t been here, they wouldn’t be in this mess now.

"Did you go after him?" Kate asked calming herself down a little.

"He was too quick?"

"He’ll come back when he’s cooled down a bit," Sarah offered, feeling guilty.

"Oh and what would you know about my son?" Kate rounded on the woman, seething again. "What would you know about anything?"

"Kate?" Will tried, but she was consumed with anger and worry.

Sarah sat in shocked silence. She could see the pain in Kate’s eyes thought about how she would feel in her position. It wasn’t nice!

"Well?" Kate continued. Sarah lowered her head, not wanting to make matters worse. Kate turned away from her and started pacing the floor. "He could be anywhere?" she mumbled, almost close to tears.

Will placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I’m sure he’s not gone far," he said, reaching for his coat. "I’ll go and have a look around…..Why don’t you try calling some of his friends."

****

As it grew dark, there was still no sign. He hadn’t gone to any of his friends’ houses, he wasn’t at the park and Will couldn’t find him around Cardale. He had returned home dejected, worn out and sick with worry. Kate was anxious and couldn’t sit still for longer than five minutes. Sarah remained on the settee, much to Kate’s annoyance, as they tried to think of where they could look next.

"I’m going to call the police," Kate said standing to get the phone.

"They won’t do anything," Sarah interrupted. "Not until he’s been missing for 24 hours." Sarah wished she hadn’t spoken when she saw the look that crossed Kate’s face.

"This is all your fault!" Kate accused.

Sarah looked hurt and taken aback.

"If anything has happened to him…." Kate trailed off, her imagination running away with ideas that were too vivid to even contemplate. She tried to shut them out, squeezing her eyes closed to rid her mind of the thoughts.

"Kate?" Will asked, worried, moving towards her side to support her.

She shrugged him away, "I’m fine!"

"Look, I’ll go make you a cup of tea," Sarah offered.

"Tea? TEA? I don’t want tea! .…… I want my son to come home! He’s never done this before……"

"Kate calm down! He’ll come back when he’s cooled off!"

"And you know that for sure do you?…… He’s been gone hours…….God knows what he thinks is going on here?!" She looked at Sarah, contempt in her eyes.

Sarah stood, not wanting to take any more criticism.

"That’s right….you come and cause all the hassle and then you just get off and let everyone else pick up the pieces…..that’s what you did to Will all those years ago, wasn't it? Huh? You wore him down, then you left him….went off with your fancy man to the other side of the world…..and you took his kids too. You really know how to kick a man when his down, don’t ya?"

Will looked apologetically at Sarah, "She’s upset."

"Upset?!" Kate answered. "My son has gone missing!"

The arguments continued between Kate and Sarah, with Will trying to keep the peace. He hated being put in the position he was in, but he knew if he was forced to choose sides, Kate would always come first. However, in her emotional state of mind, Kate believed he had already made his choice.

"So, your sticking up for your ex-wife now then?" She spoke in a calmer tone than before, as if resigned to the fact.

"No Kate, I’m not! I’m trying to…."

"…..Still, you’ve got Tony and Julian…."

"Kate?"

"Why worry about Charlie?…..He’s not even your son!" Kate spoke the words before she had time to think about their consequences. Will’s hurt expression made Kate wince with her insensitivity.

"I can’t believe you just said that!" cried Will in disbelief. "I love Charlie. I’ve been there for him when his real father hasn’t. Kate – Charlie is like a son to me. He always will be! Don’t you dare take that right away from me now."

"I’m sorry . . . "

Will cut her off. "I’m not just here for when it suits you y’know! Charlie needs both of us as much as we need him. I’ll always be here for him. Always!"

Shocked by what she had said and done, Kate turned and made her way up the stairs, with Will following close behind. She hadn’t meant to be so nasty or say what she had. It had just sort of….come out! And now she regretted it but it was too late to take it back.

"Don’t shut me out Kate," Will pleaded with his wife. "He’s my son too, we are a family. We will get through this together!"

Kate felt her lip tremble as she tried to speak, but the emotion was too much for her. Turning quickly away from Will, she headed into the bedroom that they shared and slammed the door. Will sighed on the upstairs landing as he heard Kate’s muffled sobs into her pillow on the other side, but too tired to venture in, he lowered himself onto the top stair and buried his head in his hands. This was all too much! For him, for Kate and possibly their marriage.

****

Will approached the bottom of the stairs, but he still couldn’t see Kate. He was sure she was down here, she couldn’t have left – he would have heard the front door go.

"Kate," he called softly, but there was no answer. He moved through the house wondering where she could have got to, but then he spied her as he neared the back door.

She was standing outside in the rain, staring into space. She probably hadn’t even realised she was getting wet. Her hair hung loose and limp over her shoulders and her clothes were soaked through, but she seemed oblivious to it all.

"Kate," Will called her name again as he opened the door and peered out. "Kate honey, what are you doing out here?"

She didn’t answer so he ventured outside, ducking as he ran towards her in some strange effort to avoid getting wet. It didn’t work.

As he reached her side he touched her back, making her jump and awakening her from her trance. "You’re soaking wet," he turned her towards him, noticing for the first time that she had been crying. The tears on her cheeks mingled with the rain, but Will tenderly tried to wipe her eyes.

"Oh Kate," he sighed, hating to see the woman he loved upset. Pulling her in towards his body he tried to shield her from the falling drops of water. "I’m sorry for shouting earlier sweetheart. I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry!" He remembered their earlier altercation. Kate hadn’t really spoken to him since then. She had remained sort of shut-up in her own little world, throwing up barriers between herself and Will, refusing to let him in or near.

Kate shivered, from the cold, from the wet, from the pain she was feeling inside her heart. "Where is he?" she sobbed into his body as he held her tight.

Will wasn’t sure how to answer. At last Kate had begun to talk to him again instead of shutting him out completely, but he had no way of answering her question. He didn’t know the answer and he wondered if they would ever know. He was not naïve – he’d seen it on the news a thousand times before. He’d even seen it in the surgery, but he’d never dreamt it could happen to him. No-one ever does!

"We’ll find him…" he stated with all the strength and confidence he could muster. "We’ll find him!" Unable to reassure either Kate or himself, he could only hope he was right and soon Charlie would be back home with them where he belongs. For now they had to remain positive.

Pushing the unpleasant thoughts out of his mind, he concentrated on looking out for Kate. She was normally a strong independent woman and he had always admired those qualities in her, but this was tearing her apart and it was the first time Will had ever seen her out of control. After Emmy it had been him who had crumbled, ignoring his wife’s offered support he had threatened their marriage. Only her understanding and determination had held them together and without her he didn’t know where he would be now. It was his turn to be there for her – to be the rock he felt he should have been the last time. It was his turn to show a brave face, offer Kate the support she needed; he only hoped he wouldn’t let her down.

Placing his arm around Kate he carefully guided her inside, into the relative warm where she could dry herself. The rain, insensitive to their plight and the ongoing search for their son, fell harder, turning the mud banks into rivers. Some of the hills were treacherous and impassable for any skilled hiker, but for a young boy like Charlie it was unthinkably dangerous…

****

Waiting was hard. It was the hardest task Will and Kate had ever had to cope with. Waiting for their son….to hear news of him…..anything…..just waiting! Not knowing. The longer they waited, the harder it got, the more they imagined and the more desperation they felt.

The police had wanted them to stay at home, by the phone, in case Charlie contacted them in any way. Will and Kate felt helpless. Sitting there, staring at the receiver praying for it to ring and watching the front door in the hope that their son would soon walk through it. Every few minutes one of them would stand and pace the floor, unable to sit still and do nothing. The atmosphere was uncomfortable, the room’s silence broken only by the occasional sigh from Kate and Will’s nervous cough. Neither knew what to say or do.

Will eventually spoke, but found it hard to find the right words, "They say no news is good news."

"How can it be?" Kate frowned at Will, trying to understand.

"Well…" Will tried, but he couldn’t even understand it himself. He lowered his eyes and stared down at his shoes, thinking of a different route to take the conversation.

"He wouldn’t do this…." Kate began.

"Huh?" Will had not been expecting her to speak.

"He wouldn’t! ….. C’mon Will, he was upset with you when he ran off….but he….he wouldn’t stay away like this."

"What are you saying?"

"That….that something must have happened," she stuttered not wanting to think about it. "He’d come home if he could."

"He was pretty upset," Will tried to reassure the worry in Kate’s mind. "He walked in on a situation and got the wrong idea about …."

"No!" Kate interrupted. "Think about it Will! ……. He was upset with YOU! Why would he punish me? Why?"

Will knew Kate was right. Kate and Charlie had always been close, their relationship had always been strong. If anything, Charlie would want to be there for his mum right now….not….not wherever he was!

****

The doorbell rang, shaking Will and Kate wide awake. Not that they had been sleeping, but weariness was taking over their bodies and they had not been fully conscious of what was going on. Kate ran to answer the door, but she was unprepared for what greeted her on the other side. Two police officers, one male, one female, dressed in their regulation uniforms stood on her doorstep and a cold shiver ran through her body at the sight of them. This was not a social call.

"Mrs Preston?" the female officer inquired.

Kate just nodded.

"I’m WPC Golding and this is PC Ralston," she gestured to her colleague who nodded his head in a greeting.

Kate stood silent staring at them for a moment before she recovered her power of speech. Her mouth felt suddenly dry and she had to make an extra effort for the words to come out, "What’s happened?"

The two officers exchanged looks, before they answered her question.

"Perhaps it’s best if we come in."

****

"It’s his!" Kate cried, gasping for breath as she stared at the rucksack in the officer’s hands. "It’s his school bag!"

"Oh my God!" Will put his hand to his head, feeling slightly dizzy. "Where did you find it…..?"

As PC Ralston explained, the female officer stepped away from the small group and spoke into her radio. "Sierra Oscar from 252." The radio cackled a reply that Kate couldn’t hear and then the officer continued. "It’s been confirmed Serg. the bag belongs to the boy."

"What’s happening now?" Kate interrupted her, almost tugging at her for information.

"We’ll mount a full scale search of the area," she stated, then the policewoman softened her tone, "Don’t worry Mrs Preston, we’ll find your son!"

****

"Will!" Alex exclaimed as she saw the familiar face of her friend and colleague enter the Beeches. "What are you doing here?" The concerned tone in her voice was evident to Will and he appreciated the support everyone was giving them.

"I just . . . had to . . . come and get something," he stuttered, trying to explain his presence at work. The truth was he didn’t really know what he was doing there. He hadn’t planned to come here at all, it had just sort of happened. The Beeches was the one place where he felt in control, where he had any jurisdiction over what happened or didn’t happen. Medicine was a knowledge he had acquired and practised for years and he was good at it. But no degree or training could prepare you for losing a child and the thought of losing a second was just unbearable.

Wanting to be alone, he headed into his consultation room for some time to think and shut the door, leaving the rest of the Beeches team with worried looks on their faces.

"I think I better go and see Kate," Alex stated to agreeing nods from the rest.

"I think we should close the Beeches," Tom spoke in an authoritative manner. "Perhaps we can help in the search."

Kerri and Carol stood immediately, happy at the suggestion that at last they could be of some help, while Tom moved towards Will’s closed door. "I’ll meet you outside," he said gesturing to the others that he’ll just be a moment and taking a deep breath he opened Will’s door and went in.

****

"What’s happened Will?" Tom asked quietly, concerned why his friend was not at home with his wife.

"They found his school bag." Will stated, almost coldly. Tom noticed his face was pallid, apart from dark rings under his eyes from lack of sleep. He seemed distant, unfocused, his mind was not really there, as if he was talking about it happening to somebody else.

Tom watched Will closely as his expression changed. It morphed in front of Tom’s eyes, as the charade dropped and the edge of Will’s mouth began to tremble.

"Oh God! I’m sorry," Will cried as his face broke.

"It’s ok mate," Tom hugged the man, offering much needed support and reassurance.

After a moment, Will pulled away, more composed, slightly embarrassed and very apologetic, "I’m sorry Tom! I just couldn’t let Kate see me like that. She needs me to be strong…I just…I’m not sure I know how."

Tom nodded, understanding. He couldn’t imagine what he would be going through if it was Joe that was missing.

"If it was anybody else….a patient in my shoes….it would be ok. I’d know what to say, what to do….but I just can’t find the words with Kate. I’m so frightened of losing her."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, this was all my fault….a stupid mistake. If only I hadn’t gone to meet Sarah." Will cursed himself under his breath, remembering that he still didn’t know why she had come back to England.

"Look Will, you can’t predict what will happen."

"But I should have known….the past is best left where it is! I know Sarah……I know what she’s like…..she’s destructive Tom. Her greed ruined our marriage…..she took my kids away from me then….I’m not going to let her take Charlie as well. I’m not going to let her destroy me and Kate."

Yet another change had occurred in Will and Tom was impressed by his new fighting spirit. Will put on his glasses and pulled Sarah’s letter from the back pocket of his work bag. He looked at it for one last time, before he tore it up, in half and then in half again, letting the small pieces flutter to his desk. It was an ending, the resolution of bad memories and a past that he had, for some reason, always kept hidden close by. It wasn’t important any more and he could finally let it go. Kate and Charlie were his life, they were all that mattered. All he had to do now was find his son and hope that they weren’t too late.

****

"Charlie!"

"CHARLIE!"

The boy’s name echoed up the line of officers as they trawled through the undergrowth for any sign of him. Members of the public joined the officers, bent down as they waded through long grass. Kerri, Carol and Tom attached themselves to the end of the line and mimicked their movements, not sure what they were going to find, but hoping to be of some help. Will had gone home to be with Kate, and Alex had stayed with them for support. Tom was glad that they weren’t there to witness the search, or perhaps anything that the search would unearth.

****

He could hear voices approaching him, feel movements close by but could not find the energy to call out. The wind and rain carried the crescendo of voices towards him as they emphatically called his name over and over again. They were getting closer, but the fog of unconsciousness that hung over him blurred his vision and he could not see them. He wondered if his imagination was playing tricks on him as he lay there cold, hungry and hurt.

It had seemed like he had been waiting forever, but at last a burly hand bowed down to him and scooped him up. Clutched in a warm embrace, he felt safe and allowed his eyes to close, falling into a deep sleep. He did not dream and his mind was filled with uninterrupted darkness as he lay still, unaware of the fuss and confusion that continued around him.

"Everything’s gonna be fine Charlie," Tom said bending over the boy as he WAS loaded onto a stretcher and pushed into the back of an ambulance. "Everything is going to be just fine!"

Reaching for his mobile, Tom dialled Will’s number. Alex answered.

"Tom?!"

Will and Kate’s eyes leapt to Alex’s back as she spoke on the phone. The tone in her voice was a signal that something had happened, but they could not discover what. By the end of the conversation, they were standing right next to her, trying to hear everything that was being said, but Alex’s words were strangely surreptitious and gave nothing away. When she finally replaced the receiver and looked at them, they were almost bursting, their eyes meeting Alex’s, trying to read what was going on behind them….

There was a small glint of hope and then Alex’s face broke into a smile, "They’ve found him!"

At first Will and Kate could not take in what she had said. A few tiny moments passed as they digested the information and then they realised that their son was safe. Will let out a cry as he hugged Alex in towards him, thanking her for delivering the news. Kate stood next to him, weakened with relief, collapsing into her husband’s arms as he turned toward her. He held her close, his arms encircling her body as they were liberated of the fears that had haunted them over the last few days.

"I can’t believe it!" Kate choked, as tears fell slowly down her cheeks. Will cried along with her. Tears of joy, unleashed from deep inside. Charlie meant the world to the both of them. They wanted him to know that and no matter what had gone on before, no matter what had been said or done, they would always love him. It was overwhelming and unconditional, a bond only a child and his parents could share.

****

His parents shadowed the dim light of the room as they leant over their son. Charlie opened his eyes and looked up, staring into his mum and dad’s face. He had not forgotten what had happened, but he was relieved to see them. There had been a few moments there when he had wondered if he ever would again.

"Hiya sweetheart," Kate soothed him, tenderly brushing his hair back from his face with her hand.

"Hiya Charlie," Will spoke too, but with more caution, as he settled onto the edge of his son’s bed. "We were very worried about you."

"I’m fine!" Charlie said defiantly turning away from Will. He seemed cold towards him, his character consumed by what he witnessed in the kitchen between Will and Sarah.

"Please Charlie," Kate said, noticing the fleeting hurt that flashed across Will’s face. "It wasn’t what it looked like."

"You know?" cried Charlie through salty tears. "She was there…they were together…"

"I….It wasn’t like that….." Will tried to speak.

"Go to hell!" Charlie spat.

A disbelieving silence flew around the room. His son’s words cut through Will, and he blinked back tears of shock. He looked at the cold-hearted shadow of his son, laying vulnerable in the hospital bed and then walked out, the hospital doors shushing shut behind him.

The happiness that Will had felt half an hour ago at the news of Charlie being found, was replaced by a loss that was even harder to bare than when Charlie was missing. For now Charlie was choosing to push him away and as Will leant his head back against the hospital corridor wall, he wondered if he would ever really get his son back?

****

"Dad? Can you get me a drink?"

"You’re really milking this aren’t you?" Will said with a grin on his face, as he moved towards the kitchen. The tension between him and Charlie had almost dissolved completely. Kate had spoken with her son and explained everything and now things were beginning to get back on track. Just hearing Charlie speak those words made Will happy. He was still his ‘Dad’ and no matter what, Will would always regard Charlie as his ‘son’.

Will passed a glass of orange to Charlie and watched him take a sip before placing it on the nearby coffee table. Will crouched down next to him as he picked up the remote and begun flicking through the channels.

Will laughed at the montage of programmes that passed before his eyes and at the parallel noise that accompanied the images as it intermingled out of context. Charlie threw down the remote defeated, "Ahhh, there’s nothing on!"

"Well you should have gone to school then," Will joked. He hadn’t minded Charlie staying home, especially after everything that had happened recently. Although Charlie had not suffered any serious injury after his disappearance, Will had thought it safer to keep an eye on him. And, while Kate was at her PCT meeting, it gave Will and Charlie a chance to mend a few of those broken bridges…

Ding Dong!

…The doorbell interrupted their male bonding. Charlie leapt up to answer it, while Will remained in the living room, taking over his son’s habit of channel hopping. He was not one for day-time television but he flicked through anyway passing the time while his son was at the door.

He assumed it was one of his son’s friends as Charlie had been gone a little while. Curious, Will shut off the television and strained to hear the conversation, but he could not make out the hushed voices in the hallway. "Charlie? Who is it?" he asked. "Whose at the door?"

There was no verbal reply, but the door pushed slowly open and Charlie appeared again in the living room. Behind him lingered their visitor and as Will recognised the face, his jaw dropped. "Sarah?! What are you doing here?"

Will had not seen Sarah since the night that Charlie had gone missing and he was surprised to see her now. She had been keeping a low profile and Will had been grateful for that, but wished she had stayed away longer. He had not wanted to face the possibility of upsetting Charlie again or even Kate for that matter. Will found his gaze moving from Sarah to Charlie as he waited for an explanation.

Sarah did not offer one.

"Look, I think you better go Sarah!" Will said feeling slightly uneasy about the whole situation.

"But Will…..I need to……"

"What?"

She didn’t reply. Her mind battled with her mouth to get the words out, but none came.

"Look Sarah…Your silly games have caused enough heartache. I’m not playing them anymore!"

"Will, I need to talk to you." Her eyes pleaded with him. Will hesitated. He did not recognise the look in her eyes as one he had seen before. They seemed dull and lifeless, their ever familiar sparkle diminished. Her pupils, dark as storm clouds, were bold against her pale skin.

"Well?" Will asked giving her one last chance to explain.

Sarah’s eyes looked past him to where Charlie stood watching. "I’m sorry!" she managed and a stray tear fell down her face. "I’m so sorry!"

"Huh?" Confusion reigned in Will’s mind. The apology meant nothing. He didn’t know what she was apologising for. For what happened with Charlie? For what happened between them? For something that had happened since that he was yet to find out about?

"What’s the matter Sarah? Talk to me?"

Charlie stood behind Will and slightly to the left so he could see what was going on. The growing distrust that he felt towards Sarah was changing to a deeper curiosity as to what she was doing here.

Will felt his presence behind him and realised that Sarah would not speak with him there. "Charlie? Can you go to your room mate? Sarah and I need to talk."

Charlie opened his mouth to protest but was silenced by a look from Will. He did as he was told and as soon as he had left, Will returned his gaze to Sarah. She had recovered slightly from her earlier state, but he was still worried about her. "Now," he said reassuringly. "Are you going to tell me what’s going on?"

****

"Hi Julian….it’s dad!….Yeah I’m fine, how are you mate? …..And Tony?…..Good! Yeah your mum’s here…..she’ll be fine! Don’t worry! Look…..we’ll meet up soon yeah? Miss you too son!…..Bye!"

Will replaced the receiver feeling slightly choked after the conversation. Sarah sat silently on the settee, feeling guilty for ever taking their boys away from Will. They had matured a lot, grown into strapping young men, but they had always missed their father and now she could see that he felt the same about them.

"Thanks!" she sniffed as Will handed her another tissue. "I couldn’t face speaking to them."

"I don’t know how you could just leave like that. They were worried sick. You should have told them you were coming here." Will squinted at her.

"It was hard….I feel such a failure."

"You?" Will inquired, remembering the high aspirations his wife had always carried.

She blinked up at him, "You know, I didn’t realise what I had with you, until I threw it away. I always wanted more…..I was always searching for something else."

"Did you find it?"

"Yeah, only it was too late. I realised that the thing I had been searching for had always been there when we were together…..but I was too close to see it…..I wanted to be looked after! I wanted someone to look after me…..but I always expected it in the wrong way."

"What do you mean?" asked Will, slightly confused.

"I was too caught up in how much money we had, what people thought of us and how we could achieve more, that I forgot what really mattered. I’m sorry about what happened with Daniel……and then with Michael….." she lowered her eyes feeling ashamed for the way that she had treated Will.

Will squirmed in his seat, "I’m not sure I understand."

"I’ve never loved Michael in the same way I loved you. Yeah there was passion, but it didn’t last. In America, we could never be a ‘proper’ family."

"Yeah well….we weren’t exactly a proper family either," Will’s stomach churned up at the thought of everything that had happened between them. "You wouldn’t let us be a proper family."

"C’mon Will….things were going great for a while."

"Till the novelty wore off!" Will interrupted.

"What?"

"You always wanted more. You always put the pressure on. You’re never happy with what you’ve got and it’s the same now….you’ve had enough with Michael. That’s what this is all about, isn’t it?"

Sarah sat in shocked silence. "My relationship with Michael has something missing," she answered finally. "Something I had with you!"

"Well you can’t have it all! You can’t always have what you want all of the time!"

"I realise that now…..I just came to say sorry. For hurting you. For everything."

"You came all of the way back to England for that!?"

"I came to see how you were."

"Well I’m fine, thanks," he said indignantly.

"I can see that," Sarah ignored his angry tone, "and I’m happy for you. You have a lot Will. You have a great job, a great family and great friends. Make sure you keep them," she smiled a tinge of sadness creeping into her eyes.

Will knew she was right.

****

Will entered the front door and moved silently through the house. He tiptoed in the darkness afraid to wake anybody, but as he reached the top of the stairs he realised that Kate was still up. A dim light was spreading from the crack in their bedroom door as it stood ajar and there was a slight movement on the other side.

"Kate?" he whispered as he pushed it open.

Kate smiled at her husband. "Oh," she said. "I was wondering where you’d got to?"

"Sorry," Will apologised. "You wouldn’t think an airport could be so busy at this time of night."

"Did Sarah make her flight?"

Will nodded, silently relieved that Sarah was on her way back home to America. After a long talk, things seemed a lot more sorted. Sarah was feeling low about her life in the US and had needed to revisit her past in order to put things in perspective. Once she had realised that Will had moved on without her, she was able to move on herself. She had never realised how much she had clung onto the memories of her marriage with Will and it had held her back in her new life. But now, things were different.

Will slid into bed next to his wife and pulled the covers up over himself. "It’s been a weird few days, hasn’t it?" he said snuggling up to his wife, as he remembered everything that had happened.

"Hmmm," she said sleepily.

"I was sooo worried about Charlie when he went missing," Will continued. "But at least we have him back now……..I don’t think Sarah will ever find what it is she’s looking for."

Kate didn’t say anything and Will looked down at his wife’s face. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing a regular pattern.

"I’m a very lucky man," Will whispered and he kissed her forehead. Closing his eyes, he turned his mind to sleep. "I have nothing missing" he thought, "I have everything I want right here."

THE END!