Abortion: Pro-choice
Communists: Death penalty and/or torture by living with Stephi's mom.
Free Enterprise:!Good!
Universal toasters!
Pop Tarts: 1 free poptart for every citizen every saturday.
Gay Marriages: Legalization in all 50 states, District of Columbia and Puerto Rico.
Taxes:
Tax Tax: 2%
Tax Tax Tax: 1%
Tax Tax Tax Tax: .5%
Cute Guys: All cute guys get $600 in the mail for every month they remain cute.
Gameshows: All gameshows (including sweepstakes) are tax exempt. The winnings are also tax exempt.
Retards: We will start a Retards Anon.(rehabilitation center for people who take pride in being stupid). This does not pertain to anyone with actual mental or physical problems or disablities.
Stupids: All stupids will be prosicuted and sentanced to cruel and unusual punishment without a trial by jury if said stupid tries to make verbal, physical, written or electronic contact with any member of the human race other than other stupids or stoners.
Stoners: See above; exceptions made when said stoner is a)hot, b)cute, c)sober.
Olympics: The Olympics will be replaced with a parody of the origional, with such events as jello slinging, toothpick vaulting and "The Big Sweep"ing. Also the olympic torch will be replaced with a 99 cent K-Mart tikitorch.
Internet: We the founders of the Wah-Wah-Wah-Wah-Wah party took the initiave to invent the internet.
Catchy-Nickname: Non-understanding Liberals.
New states: 50 states is too many, so were merging the following:
1. Maine, Minnessota, Wisconsin, Vermont, New Hampshire, Rhode I., Connecticut, Massachusets, New York, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Delaware, Michigan, & New Jersey will now be called: "Hockey". They have the rights to 90 electoral votes.
2. Kentucky, Missouri, West Virginia, Virginia, N. & S. Carolina, Tennessee, Arkansas, Texas, Oklahoma, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, & Florida will now be called: "Hickville". They have pi votes. No votes will be taken from this region until they can tell me exactly how many electoral votes they have without rounding or using non-numerical words (such as pi).
3. N. & S. Dakota, Nebraska, Illinois, Ohio, Kansas, Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, Iowa, Indiana, & New Mexico, will now be known as "Misc." They will recieve the square root of negative 1,000,000 electoral votes.
4. Arizona, Nevada, Utah, Idaho, Washington, Oregon, California, Hawaii, & Alaska will be known as "Weeeeeeeeeeeeest siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiideeeeeeeee!!!!!". They recieve 89.continous nine electoral votes.
5. When Puerto Rico joins the Union, they will be called "Expansion Team" and recieve 3 electoral votes.
Charlie Brown adults: Tax-exempt
Roughing: 2:00 minor penalty
Saku Koivu: $10 per goal.
Party Symbol:
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