Lovely day. Sunny, clear and not a trace of a cloud in the sky. If there was ever a perfect day, you'd have to cement this as exactly that. The camera's open up the scene in Detroit, Michigan; the home state to Rob Van Dam. The first footage we see is of a 20 foot black Ladder set-up, a few tins of Paint surrounding it and weirdly enough, an acoustic guitar placed on the ground next to the Ladder and tins of Paint. The exact scenery appears to be out the back of an Arena; how we come to that conclusion, you ask? Behind our camera there's a large billboard with the words "Detroits Finest Athletes" printed in white lettering. The obvious thought is that it's the arena which belongs to the Detroit Pistons but it seems highly unlikely, as Rob Van Dam and Pat Patterson walk out of the back door of the building and are headed towards the ladders, the paint and the acoustic guitar.  

Pat Patterson: What in the world have you got here?

Rob Van Dam: Heh, I like to refer to it as Jeff Hardy's life.

Pat Patterson: His life? How does a Ladder, a few tins of paint and an acoustic guitar reflect a man's life?

Rob Van Dam: Because they're the only thing's that mean anything to him, dude. He's not like us normal people; he's somewhat disturbed.

Pat Patterson: You mean to say he's depressed, jealous and not able to relax like you?

Rob chuckles slightly, taking the comment as a bit of an insult.  

Rob Van Dam: Uhh, yeah.. I guess you could say that bro. Jealous, that's one thing that Loser definitely is. He always thought and believed in himself that he could beat me. Heh, I proved him wrong on more then one occassion. I put him and his name to shame dude, I proved that I am one of a kind.. and the best part about that was makin' him believe it! Haha.

Pat Patterson: Rob, have you got anything special for Scotty 2 Hotty in mind?

Rob Van Dam: Man, why would I have anything planned for Scotty?

Pat Patterson: I thought maybe you might've had something in mind. Afterall, it's his last match for the company.

Van Dam stops walking and turns to Patterson, shell shocked.  

Rob Van Dam: Err, what? Dude, you're not making this up?

Pat Patterson: I wouldn't lie to you Rob, you know that.

Rob Van Dam: Dude, he's been here for like.. 15 months!

Pat Patterson: 18 months to be exact.

Rob Van Dam: Whatever. What do you want me to do? Throw a party for him? Bro, as much as I'd like to, I've got to concentrate on makin' sure it's the last we see of Triple H and Jeff Hardy. Sure, Scotty's had one COOL career, but man, this whole shing-ding is about me. It's about (Thumb Taunt) ARE .. VEE .. DEE!

They begin walking once again but at a fairly slow rate.  

Pat Patterson: So what's the plan for Thursday night Rob?

For the first time in his life, Patterson seems somewhat enthusiastic.  

Rob Van Dam: Plan? I hate to burst your bubble bro, but I don't need a plan. It's the same procedure as every other week; keep myself cool, calm and collective.. but dude, you know the thing that gets to me these days? People say that because I have a laid back approach I don't take thing's seriously. DUDE, that's totally blown out of proportion! My mind is always on the job at hand, I just don't take the same road as a Triple H or a Brock Lesnar does to prepare.

Pat Patterson: They dramatise things. You keep it simple; you get the job done.

Rob Van Dam: Totally man. If Triple H chooses not to take me seriously, that's his fault. It'll come back to haunt him 'cause I guarantee you Patterson, once I hit that 5 Star Frog Splash.. He'll be seein' 5 stars! I'll have him wonderin' why he even thought it was possible to out-class EVERYBODY's Favorite Superstar!

Pat Patterson: Rob..?

Rob Van Dam: What now dude?

Pat Patterson: You're not exactly everybody's favorite superstar anymore.. They uh.. They don't even like you.

Rob Van Dam: Man, do you think I care? I don't need the people.. The people need ME! The people need the Extreme 5 Star Performances that only I put on display each and every single week. They may not like me, but dude, the reasoning for that is because they can't stand the fact that I don't NEED them nor want them. I'm The Whole DAMN Show bro, I can do whatever the heck I want and there's nobody, not you Patterson, not Triple H, not Jeff Hardy and not ANY Fan that can do anything to stop that. It's just the way the cookie crumbles.. Haha.

Rob Van Dam and Pat Patterson finally reach the destination, so to speak. Patterson stands in one spot, observing the objects around him. Van Dam walks about, pops the paint tins open, shakes the Ladder and runs his index finger down one of the strings on the guitar. Somewhat confused, Patterson breaks the silence. 

Pat Patterson: What's the exact meaning by this? I understand they're the only few thing's that matter to Jeff, but still.

Rob Van Dam: For example bro, this Ladder. It's a part of his life; it's what he designs his whole professional wrestling career around. Sadly enough, the dude sucks at being able to win Ladder matches.. but that's a story for another day. The point is dude, Jeff Hardy actually thinks he can beat anyone when it comes to Ladders. He's protested it time and time again, Extreme is a lifestyle for him.. and that's exactly why we're here today. We're playing tribute, heh, to jeff Hardy's piece of failure. Countless times Patterson, COUNTLESS TIMES.. I have taken Jeff to a whole new level of Extreme proportions. Several occasions I have come within an inch of crushing his career; I'll admit, I didn't quite finish the job because that dude is sill standin' but don't get me wrong, ever since I slaughtered him in EVERY match we've had he's been in this.. state of depression, man. Either he's one INSANE and depressed dude, or he's a Lonely attention seeker. Beats me, but what matters is this Thursday Night. Sure dude, he's got the Swanton Bomb.. the Twist of Fate.. but have you ever seen Jeff in a match where he's actually used them to his advantage? What Jeff fails to realize is that there's a differencebetween being Extreme and being Insane. The concepts are totally different bro, but he can't seem to get that through his head of PAINT! Which bring's us to the NEXT chronicle of Jeff Hardy..

Patterson looks on intensely, as Van Dam squats down to the tin's of paint. The camera gets a close up of the different paints; yellow, green, red and blue are the main ones. There's a smaller Purple tin of paint and an even smaller tin of orange paint. However, the camera focuses in on the main colors. 

Pat Patterson: The paint.. is reflected on his hair and his body, right?

Rob Van Dam: Heh, someone's a quick learner. (Van Dam Rolls His Eyes) Anyone can tell by just one glance at Jeff that he's painfully disturbed. What kinda dude puts fifty different colors in his hair and all over his body? I mean, bro, I think he looks at himself as a canvas. Each and every morning he grabs the paint stick, the paint tins, and slaps on a mask to cover himself. He hates lookin' at himself in the mirror dude, he's a disgrace to himself. He covers himself up hopelessly with paint; but dude, I think you'll agree that it only makes him look like a bigger banana head! Does he really expect to be respected? Heh, sure, that dude won't be forgotten.. he'll be remembered for being the idiot who painted himself silly and got out performed EVERY single SOLITARY time by Mr. Thursday Night.. (RVD Smirks) Rob .. Van .. DAM!

Pat Patterson: You've disgraced Jeff Hardy countless times Rob, it's only fitting that you put the final foot in his career on Smackdown.

Patt and RVD share a comforting grin. Rob makes his way over onto the final object; the acoustic guitar. He picks it up and plays a few strings. 

Rob Van Dam: Bro, how the heck can Jeff play guitar? I'm no Elvis.. but DUDE.. Jeff Hardy playing acoustic guitar? NOT Cool! You're supposed to be, like, TALENTED to play the guitar Jeff. Talent is something you lack dude, and lack badly. Haha. See, you're one messed up freak. You paint yourself silly, you jump off Ladders and then you play Guitar.. man, you totally need some help. By being Triple H's bitch Jeff, that only degrades yourself. What, do you think that because Triple H OWNS you that you suddenly become WORTH a dollar? Heh, give me a break dude.. I put you to shame when I be-littled you EVERY time we fought. I left you lying motionless, wondering WHAT you hae to do to beat Me. You know, Jeff, don't feel bad bro.. afterall not even Hunter could get the job done. EVEN your mentor Jeff, was proved to be exactly what you are;