Wishing the Impossible
Harry stared unblinkingly at the ceiling, unable to sleep. The darkness pressed in on him, making him feel claustrophobic and even more restless. Three nights now he�d lay awake as the hours crept by, praying for the day to come sooner so that his mind would have something else to focus on. But every day must come to an end, and as thoughts of lessons and homework were driven from his mind, Harry was once again thrown into thoughts of the dream that made him so afraid to go to sleep.
The dream always started with Harry standing inside a house that looked vaguely familiar, a memory of a past too distant to remember. The walls of the room he stood in were sky blue and the only things in it were a crib and a table on which rested a baby monitor. Harry would take a step forward, a baby�s cries would fill the air, and the door would burst open, a cloaked man with pale skin and blood red eyes entering, a cold, cruel smile on his face as he walked forward.
A man�s voice then echoed in the hall, making the cloaked man stop and whirl around, his eyes glinting in the light of the sunset that shown through the window. �Don�t know why you had to wake�� the voice stopped as a black haired man came into the room, throwing out his arm to stop a red haired woman from walking by him. Then, he let her by, yelling after her. �Lily, take Harry and go! It�s him!� As the woman lifted the baby from the crib and the cloaked man pointed his wand at her, the other man yelled. �Go! Run! I�ll hold him off�� He stepped between the cloaked man and the woman, giving her time to stumble out into the hallway. Then, the cloaked man would give a high-pitched laugh and pointed his wand at the man who stood in his way.
�Avada Kedavra!� the cloaked man hissed, blasting the other man across the room with a stream of green light, killing him instantly. Then, he walked out into the hallway and out of sight. The woman�s voice could be heard from far away, quiet and pleading, while the cloaked man�s remained as cold and ruthless as it had been when he�d said the spell.
�Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!�
�Stand aside, you silly girl�stand aside now��
�Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead��
At this point, Harry would feel himself begin to drift away, the voices becoming steadily quieter until they were no more, and he would wake up. He would often lie there for some time, unable to convince himself that it had only been a dream. It was too real. The screams�his parents�Voldemort�the pain�all of it was too real to have been just in his mind.
He�d been having the dreams for nearly four months, ever since he�d come back to Hogwarts for his seventh year. He told no one about them, not even his best friends Ron and Hermione. They wouldn�t understand. Neither of them knew what it was like to lose their families, their entire lives, and not be able to remember them except in dreams that haunted the dark corridors of their minds. None of the other students knew what it was to be branded with a scar that burned like a red-hot iron pressed to their forehead every time the Dark Lord felt any emotion. Nobody could ever know how hard it was to be the Boy Who Lived.
Harry could see the sun rising through the window to his left, so he got up, getting dressed slowly. He didn�t have to close the curtains around his bed at night now, because the Christmas Holidays had started, and he was the only boy in seventh year who hadn�t gone home. After all, he had no home to go to.
By the time he headed downstairs, the sun had risen completely over the horizon and it was about time that everyone else was also getting up. He went to sit in a chair by the fire, not feeling especially hungry for breakfast, even though he�d barely eaten anything in days.
�Harry?� Lavender Brown sat down next to him and touched his arm, her eyes filled with concern. �Are you okay? You look ill.�
Harry shook his head. �I�m fine.� To prove this, he stood up and started toward the portrait. He only made it halfway, however, before an incredible feeling of lightheadedness came over him and he fell to the floor, blacking out.
* * *
Harry shifted slightly, half conscious with his mind in a haze. His forehead was burning with fever and his entire body was coated in cold sweat. Behind his eyelids, he could see people moving around, wreathed in flame and fading in and out of sight. He caught sight of one woman�s face and gasped. It was Lily Potter, his mother.
�He�s delirious,� a far away voice whispered. �Hold this cloth in place while I get the potion.� There were faint footsteps and then all was silent again.
Without warning, Harry felt something cold pressed against his forehead and the people in flame started to fade away into darkness. �No,� Harry breathed weakly, turning onto his side and shivering slightly, �come back.� But it was too late. He was already coming out of the dark place. He reluctantly opened his eyes and looked at the blurry form of Lavender, her hand pressing a wet cloth to his forehead.
�Are you all right?� she asked, taking the cloth away when she saw that he was awake.
Harry opened his mouth to answer, but no words came out, as his stomach suddenly seized up. He immediately turned away from Lavender and heaved, throwing-up what little he had in his stomach on the floor beside his bed. He leaned back against his pillow, feeling exhausted. He could see a blurry shadow of Madam Pomfrey as she came over, waving her wand to make the mess on the floor disappear.
�Stomach flu,� she muttered, grabbing Harry�s shoulder and helping him sit up. �Drink this.� She shoved a glass of potion into his hand, which he drank without complaint, coughing as it burned his throat. Lavender giggled and Harry had a sneaking suspicion that he had steam coming out of his ears.
�You need to learn to take better care of yourself,� Madam Pomfrey said as she took the glass back. �Most students don�t let themselves get this bad. I�m surprised you didn�t collapse sooner. You�ll need to stay here for a day or so to recover your strength. Miss Brown, you may stay for ten minutes, but then I must ask you to leave so he can get his rest.�
There was a moment of tense silence between Harry and Lavender as Madam Pomfrey crossed the room to her office and closed the door. �What happened?� Harry asked finally, turning to look at Lavender.
She shrugged. �You collapsed in the common room. I had to go get McGonagall and she helped me get you here. You�ve been out for two days, it�s Christmas.� She paused for a moment, biting her lip as though afraid to continue. �You were�muttering something while you were coming to. I couldn�t catch most of it, but I heard you�calling for your mother.�
Harry flinched and turned away, unable to look at her anymore. He closed his eyes and thought of the other people he�d seen just minutes earlier. The faces that had been in shadow started swimming to the surface: his mother�his father�Sirius�
�Harry?� He felt Lavender�s hand on his arm, her touch feeling cold on his feverish skin. �Did you see something?�
Harry considered telling her the truth. Yes, he had seen his godfather, who had been struck by a curse and fallen through a veil into darkness over a year and a half ago. Yes, he had seen his parents, who had died to save him. Yes, he�d been having dreams about that terrible event over sixteen years ago.
Harry shook his head. �No,� he lied. She wouldn�t understand. No one could understand anything he was going through. Even the people who had known Sirius and the Potters could never know what it was to lose the only family you�ve ever known.
�Okay,� Lavender said, pulling her hand away and reaching into her pocket. �Since you didn�t get your presents this morning, I grabbed one of them to bring to you.� She handed him a small package wrapped in what looked like a piece of parchment tied with a piece of string. �I suppose I should go down to the Great Hall for dinner.� She stood and walked away without another word.
Harry reached over to the table next to his bed and grabbed his glasses so he would actually be able to see properly. He opened the package carefully and a long, silver chain slid out of it into his hand. The parchment in which it had been wrapped had a message written on it in handwriting that Harry now knew to be that of Professor Dumbledore.
Your father gave this to me to give to you when you were of age. Sorry I didn�t send it over the summer, but I didn�t want the owl intercepted. It has been passed down through your family for generations. Keep it safe, and maybe you will be able to pass it on someday.
Harry looked down at the chain again and saw that it had some kind of a charm on it. It was a small, blood red stone encased in a circle of silver that had tiny symbols carved into the edge. He stared at it for a few minutes before slipping it over his head. Then, he stood and walked to a nearby window, having to hold onto the wall to keep from falling down.
The sun had set many hours earlier and the moon was already high in the night sky. Stars were also starting to appear, like thousands of tiny lights so far away. The light from the stars came from light years away, some merely echoes of stars that had died long ago. When Harry closed his eyes again, he could feel the light, the echoes that remained of his parents, even sixteen years after they were gone. Eventually though, the light of the stars must run out, and loved ones long lost will be forgotten. But the legends live on, and the memory of the Boy Who Lived would continue forever.
Harry didn�t want it to be that way. He didn�t want to be famous, certainly not at this cost. He would give anything to have his parents and Sirius back again. He heard a quiet voice echoing in the room, sounding distant, yet close at the same time.
�Don�t play with fire� you�ll get burned�� a slight wind ruffled Harry�s hair, though the window was tightly shut. He whirled around, but saw there was no one there. He shrugged and turned back to the window.
Then, he thought of the dream. Voldemort would�ve killed him if he hadn�t started crying and woken his parents up. Lily and James Potter would still be alive. Sirius would still be alive and wouldn�t have spent a large part of his life in Azkaban. Countless others, including Cedric Diggory, would still be alive.
�Don�t mess with fate�� the voice breathed, ��you�ll get hurt�� Harry didn�t flinch this time, even as the non-existent wind howled louder in his ears.
Instead, he unconsciously closed a hand over the charm he now wore around his neck, squeezing it so tightly that it cut into his palm. His parents would still be alive if they hadn�t come into his nursery that night. If he had not started crying in that moment, they wouldn�t have died. Others who had died because of him would still be alive.
�Be careful what you wish for��
Harry would give his life if only his parents could have survived.
��you just might get it.�
He felt himself being lifted into the air, his feet leaving the floor. A brilliant, white light filled his vision for a few moments before he was thrown back into darkness.
* * *
When Harry woke up, he was lying on the floor beside the window, the charm still clutched in his hand. He stood up quickly, groaning slightly as his vision swam and he almost blacked out again. He took a deep breath and grabbed the windowsill to steady himself, coughing weakly.
�Who�s there?� a small voice said from behind Harry. He turned around and saw a girl who couldn�t be more than twelve years old sitting up in the bed nearest to him. She looked scared and backed up to the edge of her bed.
�What happened?� Harry asked, more to himself than to the girl. He took a step towards the girl and she pulled her legs up to her chest.
�I�ll scream, I swear,� she warned, her eyes open wide in fear.
�Wait�� Harry said reaching out a hand, �I just��
The girl opened her mouth and let loose a bloodcurdling scream that shook the portraits on the walls and made their inhabitants cringe. Harry groaned as pain laced through his head and fell to his knees, rubbing his temples and praying silently for the girl to stop screaming.
�Michelle what�� the screams stopped as another woman walked into the room. Harry had no idea who she was. �Who are you? Speak boy, what is your name?�
�Harry Potter,� Harry said, slightly annoyed that this woman didn�t know who he was. Everyone knew who he was, even people he didn�t know.
The woman drew in a sharp breath and fixed him with a piercing gaze. �You should know better than to lie about things like that, boy,� she hissed. �Now tell me your real name.�
�That is my real name,� Harry said, getting to his feet again.
�That�s it,� the woman strode forward, grabbing Harry�s arm. �You�re going to the Headmaster for your insolence.� And, in spite of Harry�s arguments, she started pulling him out of the hospital wing.
As he was dragged down the hallway, Harry saw other students, some he recognized and some he didn�t, peeking around corners and whispering to their friends. Draco Malfoy was one of those students, and when he saw that Harry was looking, he wiggled his eyebrows at him as though daring him to do anything about it.
He was taken to the statue of a large stone gargoyle that he knew to be the entrance to Dumbledore�s office. He sighed quietly. Dumbledore would tell him what was going on.
�Salazar Slytherin,� the woman said and the gargoyle jumped aside as the wall behind it opened to reveal a staircase, which started moving upward like an escalator. She pulled him forward and they stepped onto the staircase to go up to the office.
He immediately knew that something was wrong. The pictures of the old headmasters that had once covered the walls were gone, replaced by one large picture on the left of a snake-like man, labeled with the name Salazar Slytherin. Everything that Harry associated with Dumbledore�s office, from Fawkes to the Sorting Hat, was gone, replaced with potion bottles and various other objects that Harry couldn�t identify. The chair that stood behind the desk was turned away so that the person in it wasn�t visible.
�Headmaster,� the woman said, �this boy has flaunted the Decree for the Prevention of Impersonation of the Unmentionables.�
�Has he now?� said a voice that Harry recognized immediately. �Well, we�ll just have to do something about that.� The chair turned slowly around, revealing the man who was sitting in it. It was someone he knew�but it wasn�t Dumbledore.
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