�Dumbledore told us, Severus. No, he ordered us, both of us, to take a vacation. And you, Severus, you told me to make the arrangements. Where do you want to go, I asked, and you said it didn�t matter.�
�I said it didn�t matter, Mis McDougall, because I had thought, after having worked as my assistant for all this time, that you would some idea as what would constitute a vacation for me. And it is � not � this.�
He picked distastefully through the color brochure.
�What exactly do you find so offensive?� Frankie asked reasonably.
�First of all, Miss McDougall, it is in the United States, a place I have avoided for many reasons, not the least of which is that it is the home of � Americans.� His lip curled. �Secondly, this, this, Florida place, is � sunny!� He spoke the word as if it was an epithet.
Frankie giggled. �Yes, it is that, Severus.� She observed him carefully. �You�re right. We�d better get some sunscreen for you. SPF 1000, I think. When was the last time you were out in the sun?�
Severus glared again. �And finally, Miss McDougall, this, this, PLACE � Well, suffice it to say that if for some unknown reason I had no choice but to visit this Florida, I would not end up here.�
He dropped the brochure as if the discussion was over and turned to leave.
�Our tickets are already booked, Severus. Our plane leaves from Heathrow Monday morning.�
Severus Snape whirled, his outrage palpable.
�Our WHAT?� he bellowed, and Frankie raised her eyebrows, undeterred.
�Surely, Severus, you don�t think we�re going to fly on broomsticks across the Atlantic Ocean? We�d die of exposure before we were halfway there.�
�Then we will Apparate!� he hissed. �If you think I am trusting our lives to a Muggle technology, you are sadly mistaken. You will find us an appropriate spot, and we will Apparate on Monday morning. Have I made myself perfectly clear?�
�Yes, Severus,� Frankie said meekly, and she waited until the door slammed shut behind the Potions Master before giggling.
An until now unseen figure stepped out of the shadows.
�Very well done, Miss McDougall,� Albus Dumbledore said approvingly. �I wonder how long it will be until he realizes he�s agreed to go. Did you really book airline tickets?�
�No,� Frankie said with a snicker.
Dumbledore picked up the brochure Severus had dropped, his face wistful.
�I truly wish, Miss McDougall, that Minerva and I could join you sooner. This will be � fun,� he added happily.
�We�ll see you next week, Professor,� Frankie said with a grin. �By then, maybe Severus will be a bit more � er � relaxed.�
Dumbledore replaced the brochure and turned to Frankie, his eyes twinkling.
�One can only hope, Miss McDougall. One can only hope.�
�It is,� Frankie said, �but this is Florida, Severus. This is appropriate weather for Florida in the winter.� She examined him critically, shaking her head. �You wouldn�t be so hot if you�d wear some Muggle clothing. A nice pair of shorts, you know, show off your legs. A t-shirt,� she said hopefully. �You have very nice shoulders, Severus. But,� she added hastily when his eyes flashed, �we probably didn�t bring enough sunblock. You�re fine the way you are.�
Severus Snape pulled himself up with dignity. His long, flowing, black cape hung limply in the humidity.
�Let�s check in,� Frankie said, hiding a grin, and she led the way to the counter.
�Just a minute,� she said as she tipped the bellman.
�Miss McDougall,� Severus repeated, and she closed the door and turned.
�What now?�
�There are � mice - on the walls.�
�Really?� Frankie moved closer. �Oh, wonderful!� she said enthusiastically. �You�re right, they blend into the pattern so well I didn�t even notice at first.�
�Miss McDougall!�
�Where are you now?� she said, and followed the scent of outrage into the small bathroom. �Oh. What?�
�There are � mice - on the shower curtain.�
�Severus, I explained all this to you. The man who founded this whole place earned all his money from cartoons. That mouse is famous.�
�Perhaps in the Muggle world.� Severus stepped past her, back into the room. �Couldn�t you have booked two rooms? Must we share?�
�Too expensive,� Frankie explained. �Wait here. I�m going to change, even if you aren�t.� She pulled some clothes out of her bag and went back into the bathroom and closed the door. �Besides,� she raised her voice, �I did book two rooms, starting next week. The Headmaster and Minerva are coming on Tuesday.�
The door opened, and Frankie grabbed a towel and held over herself. �Severus!�
�Please, Miss McDougall. I have seen you unclothed before.� Severus glared at her, and Frankie wondered if glaring at her was becoming his new favorite habit.
�What did I do now?�
�Did you say the Headmaster will be joining us?�
�Yes,� Frankie said. �He said it was a dream of his, to see the happiest place on earth.�
She knew she shouldn�t do it, but she smirked, and pulled a t-shirt over her head. The t-shirt bore the face of a sad donkey. Severus closed his eyes, an expression of pain and suffering paramount.
�What is the phrase I am looking for?� he said in a controlled voice.
�Set up, Severus,� Frankie said cheerfully as she pushed past him. �You�ve been set up.�
�Yes,� he said with a sigh. �That would be the phrase.�
�Miss McDougall.�
�Oh for heaven�s sake, Severus. If you don�t stop calling me that I�m going to put rats in your bed tonight.�
She felt rather than saw the man beside her control himself.
�Very well. Frankie. This is an illusion.�
�Yes, it is,� she said happily. �Isn�t is wonderful?�
�I mean the castle, there at the end of this abominably crowded street. There.�
�Cinderella�s Castle? It�s not as illusion. In fact, we�re having dinner there later. It�s quite real, Severus.�
�I mean, Miss Mc - Frankie,� he said precisely, �that the castle is not as large as it appears to be. These buildings,� he gestured to the colorful and bustling shops they were passing, �have been steadily decreasing in height as we get closer. It is an illusion, to make the castle appear larger than it actually is.�
�Yeah, I read that somewhere. Good eye,� Frankie said, and suddenly she grabbed his hand. �Look, Severus! Look!� She pointed. �Look!� she cried excitedly.
�I am looking. Stop pulling on me,� Severus said testily. �It is a Muggle dressed as a tiger. Incorrectly, I might add. Tigers are not that shade of orange. And they do not walk on two feet.�
�Severus, that is not a tiger. That�s Tigger.�
�I beg your pardon?�
�Tigger.� Frankie looked at him in astonishment. �You�ve never heard of Tigger? T-I-double-guh-er?� She shook her head mournfully, and caught the eye of a tourist next to her. �He�s never heard of Tigger,� she informed the camera-heavy middle-aged man, and the man�s eyes went wide. His accent was broad, and marked him instantly.
�Never heard of Tigger? Where the bloody hell are you from, mate?�
Severus said so quietly only Frankie heard him, �Australian. I cannot believe I let her talk me into this,� as the man winked at Frankie and said theatrically, �What�s a tigger?�
Frankie grinned, and her and the tourist burst into song.
�The wonderful thing about Tiggers
The Australian man�s companion joined in, as well as two tiny Muggle children in princess dresses, their little voices lisping along as their parents watched with pride.
�Their tops are made out of rubber
The two little girls began hopping in place. Frankie saw Severus try to back away, only to stop short when he bumped into someone. Some � well � some Tigger.
�They�re bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!
- the costumed character flung both tiger-striped arms around Severus, and Frankie nearly choked with laughter at the flashing black eyes of the Potions Master -
�....is I�m....the only one!� Dozens of people were singing along, and as the two little Princesses ran up to the tiger clapping, Frankie tugged Severus away, pulling him through the crowd. They ran until they reached the foot of the deceiving castle, and Frankie bent double, whooping with laughter. Severus stood stiffly, arms folded, his face like stone.
�I suppose you found that amusing.�
Frankie tried to speak and couldn�t, tears of laughter pouring down her cheeks. Severus sighed, and pulled a handkerchief out of one trouser pocket held it out to her. Frankie mopped her face, and giggled a few more times.
�Yes, actually, I thought it was totally fucking classic,� she told him, and she grabbed his hand again.
�C�mon, let�s go.�
�Where now?� he asked in a long-suffering voice.
�Why, to Fantasyland, of course. Where else?�
�I had to ask,� Severus Snape muttered.
DISCLAIMER: All Harry Potter related characters and concepts are copyrighted by JKR and Warner Brothers; this is for non-profit, entertainment purposes only. All stories are copyrighted by the respective writer. All artwork is copyrighted by the respective artist, all photographs by the respective photographer.
Is Tiggers are wonderful things,�
Their bottoms are made out of springs.�
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers,� they all shouted, as -