Star Traks: The Incongruous Voyages was created by Ronan Stafford.  It's based primarily on
 Alan Decker's Star Traks (though all the other Star Traks series deserve mention for 
 inspiration),and these in turn are based on Star Trek, created by Gene Roddenberry. Last thing 
 I knew Paramount and Viacom owned Star Trek, but with weird stuff happening there I don't 
 think they know who owns it, though CBS might be in there somewhere. Anyway, I don't. If you do 
 own Star Trek, drop me an e-mail and I'll credit you for having enough money to buy the franchise.
 In addition, the 'White Hart Pub' and it's patrons are the invention of Arthur C. Clarke, as
 is the 'Fenton Silencer'.


 Copyright 2006. All rights reserved.


 Rated PG (by author, who knows nothing about ratings). But I don't think there's any foul 
 language, just a couple insults and gory deaths. Nothing worse than you get in primary school 
 playgrounds these days.


                      #########################################
                      ###STAR TRAKS: THE INCONGRUOUS VOYAGES###
                      #########################################
                      #########Season One: Episode One#########
                      #########################################
                      ####The Incongruous Arrival, Part One####
                      #########################################
                      #################by RPS##################
                      #########################################



    "You have five minutes remaining!" The Chief Examiner shouted from a stage at 
  the end of the exam hall. From the stage the Chief Examiner could look over 
  the 200 students sitting in the hall, the final bunch of Federation 
  University's Engineering students sitting their final exams. As Nyoko Sulu 
  wrote down the final answers on her Warp theory paper, she felt pretty happy. 
  Cold, calculating, she knew exactly what mark she'd got on this paper. Having 
  slightly messed up a couple calculations Sulu knew she'd achieve a mark of 
  83%, a decent grade in itself, but when coupled with her other exams she'd 
  end up around average for her year. Sulu knew she could of easily got every 
  question right and be recognised as the most gifted student to come out of 
  the University for years, but that wasn't in her plans. High achievers and 
  'clever' people got into Starfleet and were assigned to the flagships or to 
  deep space missions and ended getting themselves killed. No, Nyoko wasn't 
  going to become a name on some dedication plaque to a ship destroyed by enemy 
  fire, spacial anomaly, or worse, on the whim of the some lunatic omnipotent 
  being with a broomstick up their arse. Her grade would be good enough to be 
  assigned to one of the many nice easy local Earth jobs, maybe even a colony 
  for a while to look after the power grids. After about ten years and various 
  promotions she'd have earned enough latinum to retire to a nice bungalow 
  outside Tokyo, marry a hot athlete of some sorts, have children and paint 
  landscapes of Mount Fuji. If her family left her alone.
  Walking out of the examinations hall she smiled at one or two of the other 
  students she knew and headed out into the gardens surrounding the building 
  she'd been in. Recognizing a figure working away on some hedges with some 
  clippers, she walked over and waited until he noticed her.
    "Oh, the beautiful Ms. Sulu. How are you today."
    "I'm doing well Jacob, and you?"
    "Just doing a bit of work on old Hikaru." Sulu laughed as Jacob, one of the 
  many gardeners employed by the University to keep the many parks around its 
  facilities in top condition. 'Old Hikaru' was actually the Hikaru Sulu 
  Memorial Park in Chigago, named after Nyoko's great-great-grandfather. 
  Helmsman to the illustrious James Kirk, Captain of the famous USS Excelsior, 
  one of the most celebrated Presidents in the Federations history, legend. It 
  was he everyone in her family had always had to live up to, and his daughter 
  Demora, Captain of the USS Enterprise-B and eventual chief of Starfleet, and 
  Nyoko's great-grandmother. Both of Nyoko's parents had commanded a ship at 
  some point, with her mother now an influential Councillor on the Federation 
  Council and her father still heavily influencing Starfleet tactics, while 
  retired of course. Her ancestors adventures were required reading at the 
  University, it was a wonder they'd never gotten themselves killed. And so 
  Nyoko had been forced as much as she had been expected to enter Starfleet, 
  and after four years spent at Fed U she'd now graduate. Not top of the class, 
  but Nyoko knew she would have been if she'd really wanted to. Oh, how she 
  longed for the simple life. Like Jacob, spending your days out in the sun, 
  with no more concerns than whether it was the correct conditions to plant 
  geraniums or not and if the grass needed a trim.
    "Seem to have something on your mind Ms.Sulu." Jacob did not ask, but stated. 
  She must have started staring off to middle distance again.
    "Oh, its nothing. Just finished my last exams, expect I'll get my results in 
  the next couple days."
    "That’s brilliant Ms.Sulu. Congratulations."
    "Congratulations already? A bit premature isn't it? And please Jacob, you've 
  known me for four years, call me Nyoko."
    "Of course Ms.Nyoko." Nyoko couldn't help but laugh at Jacobs’s response. He 
  smiled and fiddled around slightly with the clippers he was using to cut the 
  hedge into shape.
    "I should probably be off, need to start packing my stuff from my room."
    "Very well Ms. Nyoko. If you need a hand with anything, don't hesitate to 
  call."
    "That’s very nice of you Jacob. Good night."
    "Goodnight Ms. Nyoko."
  
  
    "So, how'd it go?" Breanna, Nyoko's roommate and best friend asked as she 
  entered her quarters.
    "Good, think I did okay." Nyoko answered as she let herself fall onto her bed. 
  Breanna had finished her exams last week, and most of her stuff was already 
  packed away. She'd applied and been let into Starfleet days earlier, and was 
  heading home for a month before her first assignment began.
    "Nyoko, you have absolutely no ambition at all do you?" Breanna fumed. Nyoko 
  didn't bother to reply. Seeing she wasn't going to get an answer out of her, 
  Breanna changed topic. "So, you talk to him?"
    "To who?"
    "Your gardener friend!" Breanna exclaimed
    "Jacob?" Nyoko replied, a smile starting to spread across her face.
    "Yah, he's cute."
    "He's a gardener."
    "He's still cute. And he's only twenty-four."
    "You looked up his age?" Nyoko nearly shouted, unbelieving.
    "No, of course not." Breanna said, indignant. The she laughed and flicked her 
  head upwards in an effort to remove several stray hairs. "I asked him."
    "You did what? I don't believe you!"
    "Uh-huh."
    "I can't believe you did that!" Laughing, Nyoko took the cushion nearest to 
  her and threw it across the room at Breanna. Her roommate replied in kind.
  
  
    "I’ll have a fried Dodo Egg, thrity-five baked Beans, a Piece of Toast, 
  square in Shape, Six Inches in a Diameter and as symetrical as Possible, and 
  a Cup of Coffee." Captain Klaus Reimann said to the replicator in his ready 
  room as Crewman Jenkins waited to give him a message. "You can be creative 
  with the Coffee." Reimann told the replicator, as Jenkins looked more and 
  more confused. Most people did when they saw Reimann tackle a replicator, but 
  he had always thought that what was the point of having the technology to 
  recreate any size, texture and flavour of food if you didn’t go a bit crazy 
  when ordering. The food sparkled into existance, Reimann took a sip from his 
  coffee, and taking a bite out of his piece of toast he nodded for Jenkins to 
  say whatever he'd come to say.
    "Captain, incoming transmission from Dillons Logistics Offices. Admiral 
  Aamdbrbp wishes to speak with yourself and Mr. Hatters."
    "Very well. Return to the Bridge and send Hatters in. Wait, actually, I'll go 
  with you." Reimann stuffed what remained of the slice of toast into his mouth, 
  and as Jenkins left the Captains Cabin to return to his post on the bridge 
  Reimann poked his head out the door and asked for Hatters to join him. 
  Hatters, the first mate of the ship stood up from the Command Chair, 
  performed the Picard manoeuvre on his shirt and joined Reimann in the ready 
  room.
  As they walked in the view from the window was engulfed by swirls of pinks, 
  violets and reds: the patterns formed by the Naibger Nebula, which they were 
  currently surveying for gas mining pourposes. As a refitted Aurora class 
  starship bought off Starfleet before it was scrapped, the SS Spallanzani was 
  perfectly suited to it's task: it possessed little in the form of tactical 
  capabilities, but it still had accurate scientific sensors and it had been 
  completely hollowed out where possible and was capable of carrying up to 10 
  tonnes of cargo, and the suites and holodecks used by the past Starfleet crew 
  to entertain passing dignitaries were perfect for Dillon Consortium richer 
  customers, or those about to sign a new deal. The Captains cabin, his private 
  room where the Reimann could get away from the crew for some time alone, was 
  sparsely decorated, containing a desk, replicator and a few personal touches. 
  Dominating the room were two screens: the window which took up one side of 
  the room, and a massive screen which dominated another behind the desk and 
  was currently displaying the Dillon Consortium logo with the words 
  ‘Communication Incoming’ flashing in a pale shade of blue against the black 
  background. Reimann and Hatters stopped on front of the large screen and the 
  ships first officer keyed into a console the instructions necessary to start 
  communication with the Admiral. Aamdbrbp's insectoid head promptly appeared 
  on screen. Although Aamdbrbp didn't in fact have the rank of Admiral within 
  any military, his actualy position as Chief of Dillon Consortium Logistics 
  meant he was the de facto Commander of nearly a thousand various freighters, 
  delivery shuttles and other merchant ships, hence the nickname..
    "Klaus, John." Aamdbrbp acknowledged to the two men. "I bring good news, for 
  a change. John Hatters, on this Stardate I'm pleased to announce we're giving 
  you a promotion. Congratulations Captain."
    "Thank you sir." Hatters was happy, though this was expected news. Over ten 
  years spent in the role of first mate for Reimann, everybody knew that he was 
  bound to get his own ship sooner rather than later. "I am assigning you to 
  command the SS Spallanzani, you'll be able to keep the current crew though 
  you'll need to chose a first mate."
    "What about me then Admiral? I seem to be out of a job." Reimann asked. He'd 
  been resigned of losing Hatters, but not his ship.
    "Klaus, we've always wanted to move you off the Spallanzani, you're too good 
  a Captain to keep hidden away on minor tasks. We've just been waiting for the 
  right ship to come along."
    "And it has?" Reimann said, crossing his arms. He'd grown fond of the ship in 
  the year he'd spent on it.
    "It has. Brand new ship, absolutely massive. Going to be the flagship of 
  Dillon Consortium new Logistics Division. It'll have the works, massive 
  cargo bays, top of the line engines for speed of delivery, plus what the 
  designers have been calling the Diplomatic suites, you're going to have sales 
  reps and facilities to rival all of our main stores."
    "That’s quite a step up sir." Reimann replied, stroking his handlebar 
  moustache.
    "We wouldn't be giving you it if we didn't think you could handle it. 
  Congratulations Captains. Klaus, your new ship is currently in dry-dock above 
  Earth, just finishing construction, registry DEGL-9336. How long until you 
  complete your current assignment?"
  Reimann looked to Hatters.
    "Shouldn’t be more than another day."
    "Good. Klaus, you're crew should be waiting for you when you arrive. I know 
  you'll both do a top-up job. Aamdbrbp out." The Admiral's image disappeared 
  from the screen. 
  The two men in the office stayed quiet for several moments. Reimann was the 
  first to break the silence between the two men.
    "Well done on your promotion John."
    "Thanks. I'll go tell everyone to start wrapping things up, we've been here 
  long enough that I doubt we'll find anything new out."
    "You do that. Send Henry in, once I get the ball rolling with her I'll make a 
  crew announcement." Hatters nodded his understanding and headed out the door. 
  Seconds later Yeoman Henrietta "Henry" Jarvis marched in. She put down the 
  PADD she was carrying and sat down on Reimann's desk, one leg dangling. She 
  passed her hand through her shortish red hair and asked,
    "So?"
    "So what?" Reimann asked innocently in reply.
    "What is it?"
    "What’s what?"
    "Our new ship." Henry bit her lower lip, the beginnings of an infuriating 
  smile etched on her face. This was a game Reimann often played; she wasn't 
  going to let him win by losing her temper.
    "Our ship? I thought I was the one with the rank of Captain here. Its my 
  ship."
    "What's our new ship?" Henry replied, finally giving up on looking serious 
  and breaking out into a smile.
    "Brand new merchant ship, docked at Earth. Literally waiting for us to go 
  pick her up" Although he'd been initially annoyed at losing the Spallanzani, 
  the fact he was going to command what was an absolutely colossus of a ship 
  was finally sinking in. Nice one.
    "What's it called?" Henry's question brought him back to reality.
    "The ship?"
    "No, your pet rock." The Yeoman let out a laugh. "Of course I mean the ship."
    "Registry is DEGL-9336."
    "That’s not the name though."
  Reimann started replaying the conversation with Admiral Aamdbrbp in his mind. 
  He couldn't hide the shock on his face when he concluded that Aamdbrbp had 
  left that particular piece of information out.
    "Find out for me will you?"
    "Sure thing boss. You'll also be wanting to find our a bit about the new 
  crew?" Reimann nodded. As Aamdbrbp had said he'd be leaving his established 
  crew behind on the Spallanzani. He had every confidence in the now Captain 
  Hatters, but like any new Captain he was going to need all the help he could 
  get. Yeoman Jarvis would be the only one accompanying him to the new ship. 
    "And you'll also be wanting to make an announcement to the whole ship of 
  course." And before he could object Jarvis had tapped her comm. badge. 
    "Jarvis to crew of the SS Spallanzani, please wait for an announcement from 
  Captain Reimann."
    "Thanks for the heads up." Reimann muttered to her. She simply shrugged and 
  gave him a thumbs-up. Oh well, he'd have to wing it. "Crew of the Spallanzani, 
  this is Captain Reimann. I've got some bad news and some good news..."
  
  
    "Honey, I'm home!" Saruwatari Sulu shouted as he entered his abode. Dumping 
  his briefcase next to the cabinet in the entrance hallway, he turned to kiss 
  his wife, Ayumi.
    "Hey darling." Ayumi replied. With their jobs it wasn't uncommon for them not 
  to arrive home until well in evening, and she had got home at a nice and early 
  eight o'clock, with her husband walking in an hour later.
    "Sorry I'm so late, you know what Larkin’s like when she gets an idea in her 
  head."
    "Sure, sweetums. Fancy some lasagne?"
    "You know I love anything you cook." Saru Sulu replied, knowing it was the 
  correct answer if a bit inaccurate. As he entered the large kitchen he saw 
  his wife working away at the oven, while his daughter Nyoko was at the dining 
  table reading a PADD. "Didn't know you'd be home today love!" he told her 
  while grabbing her in a big hug.
    "Yah, well, not much point in me hanging round the University. The department 
  has said they've got my results sorted and I'll find out soon enough." Nyoko 
  said, half-ignoring her fathers attention and continuing to read the PADD.
    "Brilliant results I'm sure honey. And when you apply to Starfleet they're 
  bound to be enough for the Enterprise!" The Juggernaut class Enterprise-J, 
  11th incarnation of the legendary ship, Captained by the famous Barnam Dax 
  was a monster of a ship with over twenty nacelles, one hundred and twenty 
  decks and a command centre twice the size of some of Starfleets smaller ships.
    "Yah, right." Nyoko replied, knowing better. Ayumi ran over from the oven, 
  holding the tray of lasagne in one gloved hand and unceremoniously dumping it 
  on one of the place mats.
    "Hot, hot, hot." She muttered, turning back to the work surfaces next to the 
  oven to fetch the salad which complemented the meal.
    "How was work today darling?" Saru asked, digging into the lasagne with a bit 
  of apprehension.
    "Oh, you know what it's like. The Andorians are still kicking up a storm 
  about the Vulcans, and President Brogdak still managed to sleep through most 
  of the sessions. Honestly, we'd get more done if we had Bradley Dillon back." 
  Ayumi joked, referring to the old entrepreneur who once managed to buy the 
  Federation and install himself as President. Though long gone he had managed 
  to set up the mega power of Dillon Consortium which still controlled a large 
  percentage of Starfleet's construction contracts, something Saru was working 
  against trying to make Starfleet more self-sufficient. Saru was visibly 
  annoyed at the mention of Dillon.
    "Hmmm." He answered, forcing himself to swallow some of the lasagne. Give me 
  emergency Starfleet rations any day, he thought. The meal was interrupted as 
  a chime sounded in the office, a room off to the left of the kitchen/dining 
  room, announcing an incoming message. Ayumi jumped up to answer, and with her 
  gone both Saru and Nyoko took the opportunity to dispose of most of the 
  lasagne on their plates into the nearby waste dispenser. When Ayumi returned 
  she motioned to Nyoko.
    "Darling, you're results. Just want to remind you we're proud of you no matter 
  what happens."
    "Yes Mum." Nyoko replied as if being patronised, brushing past her and into 
  the office. She knew what was coming, but she'd never really thought about 
  how to break the new to her parents. Tapping away on the controls of the 
  console she logged into her account and collected her results. A 2:1, as 
  expected. A solid pass, but not exceptional. Exactly middle of the road. She 
  sighed, logging off. This was the moment she'd been dreading. Nyoko ambled 
  back into the kitchen/dining room, her parents quiet waiting to hear the 
  results.
  
  
  Later that night Nyoko lay restless, in her bed, unable to sleep. Her parents 
  had taken the news well enough, they were proud of her. They just knew she 
  could do better. Far better. And she could of. But she'd got what she wanted, 
  a good enough degree to get a good job, and a bad enough one she'd hope her 
  parents would give up on her joining Starfleet. But they hadn't. They'd 
  started talking about her application process, and the interviews, and exams, 
  and a million other things just after getting the news of her results. They 
  hadn't even stopped to ask her if she wanted to be in Starfleet. As usual.
  So Nyoko lay restless, in her bed, unable to sleep. What now? What could she 
  do? She wasn't joining Starfleet, that was for sure. No way. But her parents 
  would never see it any other way. Would they? Of course not, Nyoko had been 
  bound on a course towards Starfleet practically from the moment she'd been 
  born. No way they'd be taking no for an answer.
  So Nyoko lay restless, in her bed, unable to sleep. Then an idea started 
  forming in her mind. A thought she'd briefly had at dinner, when her mother 
  had muttered a name. And then it all clicked into place. She jumped out of 
  bed and activated her computer console. She had work to do.
  
  
    "Locking on, target confirmed. Commencing transport now." The crewman at the 
  transporter console worked his controls, and seconds later a gas haze of 
  swirling pinks, violets and reds appeared in a force field located on the 
  transporter PADD. "Transport successful."
  After the haze had materialized another crewman from the Spallanzani's 
  Science division ran a quadcorder around the force field. Satisfied he turned 
  the quadcorder off and turned to Captain Hatters who was waiting by the 
  transporter console.
    "That’s it sir, we've got all the samples we're going to need."
    "Good work." Hatters tapped his comm badge. "Bridge, we're finished down here. 
  Engage course to Earth."
    "Aye sir." The helmsman complied, sending the Spallanzani to Warp. "Course 
  engaged, ETA three days."
    "Inform Captain Reimann, I'll be overseeing the lab work down here for a 
  while. Hatters out."
  
  
    "Hey Klaus."
    "Hey yourself." Reimann replied. He was sitting on his desk, facing the big 
  viewscreen on the wall of his ready room. On the viewscreen was a hispanic 
  woman, with black hair and in her forty's or fifty's.
    "Heard about your new ship, congratulations."
    "Yah, should be a challenge. How goes the world of Dillons Accounting.?"
    "The usual." The woman was wearing a black sleek suit, sitting back in a wide 
  black leather chair.
    "And the family?"
    "Again, the usual." She smiled. "My father still rues the day I ever met you, 
  but they're still doing good. The olives are turning out quite well this year, 
  says he might even have to hire in some extra hands for harvest this year."
    "Nice to hear." Reimann said, before lapsing into an uncomfortable silence. 
  It was obvious that once they got past the formalities the two of them had 
  trouble with further communication. "So..."
    "Yah..."
  More silence.
    "How's that new chair?" The Captain of the Spallanzani asked.
    "Nice, real good. Don't know how my secretary did it, it’s simply loads 
  better than the standard office issue. Done absolute wonders for my back."
    "Maybe you could send the replicator pattern to Henry, she could make sure I 
  get one for my office on the new ship." 
    "Maybe." The woman laughed. "Listen Klaus, I should probably be off..."
    "Yah, nice talking to you again."
    "Call in if you can while you're on Earth, we can get a drink or something."
    "Sure."
  The woman smiled, mostly to herself, and severed the comm link ending the 
  conversation. Her face on the screen was replaced by a spinning Dillon's 
  logo. Reimann shrugged, and headed out the door onto the bridge.
  
  
  On Earth, Soledad Sanchez Rios pressed back in her chair before getting up. 
  Taking her coat and bag in one arm, she used the other to push open her 
  office door, stopping only slightly to admire her rank, name and position 
  printed on the glass door: Soledad Sanchez Rios, Head of Dillon Consortium 
  Accounts. She walked out onto the office main floor, which was full of 
  several accountants working at consoles and the odd cubicle, and past Franz, 
  her secretary.
    "I'm out for lunch, just make sure you don't burn the place down or anything?"
    "Will do." Franz responded.
    "I'll be back in about an hour." Sanchez finished, heading out the door onto 
  the streets of Salisbury. Maybe this time she'd try that new Mexican place 
  just off the Netherhampton Road.
  
  
    "FRANZ!"
    "Ah, Soledad!" Franz managed to get loose from the various fire brigade 
  officers crowded round him, and made his way towards Sanchez.
    "What happened here?" Sanchez shouted, taking in the surrounding scenery. 
  What use to be Dillon Consortium Accounting Headquarters was now a smoking 
  charred remains of what it had been less than an hour before.
    "We had a slight problem with a fire."
    "A slight problem? The whole building's burnt down! Why didn't the sprinklers 
  activate?"
    "It seems that was the slight problem." Franz looked around desperately, 
  finally finding his target. "This is Hans Brottinger, the chief of the fire 
  brigade, he knows more than I do."
  Brottinger, sensing Soledad's gaze falling upon him, tried to look busy and 
  get out of the way, but the hispanic woman was quickly next to him demanding 
  an explanation.
    "As soon as we have one we'll tell you." He answered, before moving off to 
  talk with various other firefighters clustered around what had been the main 
  entrance to the building.
    "I can't believe it! Brand new offices! Santa Maria, Its the 26th century! 
  How does a fire burn down a building in the 26th century!" Sanchez despaired 
  as fire fighters and the odd Starfleet officer carried out their work around 
  them.
    "Soledad?" A voice asked from behind Sanchez. As she turned around the tall 
  ant-like body of the Xindi Admiral Aamdbrbp walked up to her. "I came as soon 
  as I heard."
    "Oh, thanks for coming Admiral. I have to admit I have only just found out 
  about this myself, I was out on my lunch hour."
    "A terrible tragedy, thank Archer nobody was hurt."
    "Yes, at least some good news." Sanchez said, still dejected. "Franz! Franz!" 
  she then shouted, trying to locate her secretary.
    "You yelled?" Franz responded, saluting Admiral Aamdbrbp before turning his 
  attention to his boss.
    "Yes I did yell. Is there somewhere the Admiral and I can talk in private?"
    "I believe your office is still mostly intact."
    "Is it safe?"
    "Should be." Franz shrugged. "Chief Brottinger said the building is still 
  structurally sound."
    "Very well Franz, lead the way. If this building collapses in on us I'm 
  taking you with me."
    "Aye aye ma'am. This way please." Franz finished, leading back into the 
  scorched building.
  
  
  Sanchez closed the door to her office after Admiral Aamdbrbp had entered, 
  leaving Franz to stand outside waiting for them. Aamdbrbp picked up various 
  pieces of burnt office equipment, before turning to Sanchez.
    "So what are your plans now?"
    "I have absolutely no idea." Sanchez said, falling back into her office chair 
  which had remained thankfully intact. "I guess we can always move back into 
  the old offices, maybe even rent a bit of space in those brand new offices 
  Human Resources just got. Any suggestions Admiral?"
    "As a matter of fact I do." As soon as Sanchez heard this she knew she was 
  not going to like what Aamdbrbp said, but she moved forward in her chair to 
  make it look like she was listening more attentively. "I remember us talking 
  about how you longed to get out there, to get back on a ship. How you loved 
  your days galloping round the galaxy, accounting on strange new worlds. Well, 
  I think this is your chance."
    "Admiral, as much as I'd love to head back out on board a ship," Sanchez 
  said, although her tone implied exactly the opposite, "I have far too many 
  commitments here on Earth. I have an entire Accounts Department to run, never 
  mind other a hundred staff that report to me directly here."
    "Think of this," Aamdbrbp said indicating the burnt wreckage around them, "as 
  a sign that it is time to get out. Archer knows we have far too much 
  bureaucracy here on Earth already, imagine how much less red tape and crap 
  we'd have if the entire department was ran from space. Remember how Dillon's 
  got started, a small depot shop on a space station in the middle of nowhere."
    "Do I have any say with this at all?"
    "Not a word, I've already got the other members of the Board to agree on 
  this. Go on, you'll love it really. Oh, this applies to your entire staff as 
  well. I don't want to see a single Dillons Accountant anywhere on Earth, 
  everything should be integrated into the fleet of ships and our stores."
    "How am I suppose to run a department with no central base! There are 
  thousands of accountants working all across the Federation! And some outside 
  the Federation!"
    "Your new ship will be your central base. Its the new way of doing things 
  Sanchez: streamlined, mobile, efficient forces." Aamdbrbp tossed a PADD onto 
  the table. "These are all your new ship assignments, I expect you'll be up 
  and running in a few days from your new location. Good day Soledad." Aamdbrbp 
  left the office, nodding goodbye to Franz as he walked by. Sanchez sunk back 
  into her chair. Behind her the wall collapsed, exposing the countryside 
  beyond as a backdrop.
  
  
    "Er...Hi, is this the Dillon Consortium recruitment office?" Nyoko Sulu 
  asked. Dressed in the roughest civilian clothes she could find she was 
  standing at the reception area at Riga Spaceport, where a young woman sat at 
  a desk.
    "Sure is. How may I help?"
    "I'm actually looking for a job."
    "Of course, good place to come. May I have your CV? We have many job openings 
  here on Earth and specifically throughout Eastern Europe..."
    "Actually I was hoping for something a bit further away, maybe on a freighter 
  or merchant ship? I studied Engineering at the Federation University in San 
  Francisco." Nyoko said, handing the receptionist a PADD with her CV on.
    "We're always looking for crew, I'm sure we can find the right position for 
  you Miss..." the receptionist asked for Nyoko's name, glancing briefly at the 
  CV.
    "Chugoku. Nyoko Chugoku." Nyoko responded. It had been a simple matter to 
  hack into all her University and other official records and change one or 
  two things around. And her employers would be none the wiser about who they 
  had aboard."
    "Wonderful Miss Chugoku. You've actually caught us at a good time, you 
  available for an interview now?"
    "Sure, why not." Nyoko smiled at the receptionist.
  
  
    "Captain Rogerio?" Nyoko shouted, walking around the hangar. The receptionist 
  had dropped her off outside the hangar, telling her to go in and find Captain 
  Hans Rogerio, who'd be responsible for her interview. She was actually 
  surprised how quickly this was happening, she thought it'd have been much 
  harder to sign on to a freighter. As long as she found Rogerio. "Captain 
  Rogerio?" She shouted again, ducking under a warp nacelle and walking round 
  the back of the cargo ship currently parked in the hangar. She stopped as she 
  saw a pair of feet coming out from under the ship. "Excuse me, do you know 
  where I can find Captain Hans Rogerio?"
    "Sure do." The feet, or the person attached to those feet, answered. The 
  person slid out from under the ship, revealing a man, about six feet tall 
  with thinning black hair, a slight comb-over and a bulging waistline. He was 
  holding a spanner in one hand, and his jumpsuit was covered in grease. 
    "Captain Hans Rogerio, at your service ma'am."
    "Err...I was told to come to you, something about an interview?"
    "Oh yes, Gabi told me I'd be doing this while I was docked. What's your name?"
    "Nyoko Chugoku."
    "And what if any experience have you got in the field of galactic logistics?" 
  He laughed at the 'galactic logistics'. "That's a posh way of saying carrying 
  freight round the quadrant."
    "None really, but I've got a degree in Engineering from Fed U."
    "Wow, we got us a clever one. Fed U?" Rogerio asked, and Nyoko nodded in 
  response.
    "Just completed it."
    "So why do you want to get a lousy job with Dillon Consortium? Why not 
  Starfleet or some more legitimate company? I know you could get a better 
  paying job there."
    "Not my cup of tea." Nyoko muttered as a response, looking down at her feet.
    "In that case," Rogerio asked, drawing closer, "what, or should I saw who, 
  are you running away from?"
  Nyoko looked at him, mouth agape. How could he know. Would he rat her out? 
  Would she be sent back?
    "Forget I asked that." Rogerio said, saving the situation. "Pretty much 
  everyone here has some kind of history. We're all running away from 
  something."
    "What are you running away from?" Nyoko asked before she could stop herself, 
  realising as she finished it was a pretty personal question when Rogerio had 
  been quite kind to her.
    "That, my dear, is a very long story."
  Both Nyoko and Rogerio were silent for a while, Nyoko uncomfortably looking 
  around the hangar.
    "Listen, I'm so short-handed at the moment, I'd take anyone on to my ship. 
  And you're actually vaguely qualified, so that's an added bonus." Rogerio 
  said.
    "So I've got a job?" Nyoko asked.
    "Definitely. We're having a little overhaul, so we're stuck here for a couple 
  weeks, but we should be out in space in, say, two months."
    "Two months?" Nyoko asked, her shoulders dropping.
    "Too long for you?" Rogerio asked, and Nyoko nodded in return. "Well I could 
  always get you onto Reimann's new ship, he's due to leave any day now. And he 
  could do with some good Engineers. Just sorry to lose you."
    "Oh thank you! Thank you!" Nyoko said, just managing to stop herself from 
  hugging Rogerio.
    "Go back to reception with this and give it to Gabi, she's the receptionist." 
  Rogerio said, tapping away a message on a PADD and handed it to Nyoko. "She'll 
  arrange transporting for you up to the Hansean. Good luck."
  
  
   SS Hansean, DEGL-9336
   Dillon Consortium Earth Service Orbital 043
  
    "Pass me the coil spanner." Leanne Braistway looked down at the disembodied 
  blue hand sticking out of the hole in the floor, before eventually getting 
  down on her knees and rummaging through a tool kit. She found the equipment 
  asked for and thrust it into the protruding hand. Once there the hand 
  disappeared again, and Braistway heard various clicking sounds from where 
  Chief Engineer Ness was working on the helm console.
    "Listen, how long you going to be down there?" Braistway asked.
    "Until either the console's hooked up, or until I grow a beard. Whichever 
  comes first."
    "Right. I need the ODN relays on Deck C connected to the bio neural gel packs 
  ASAP or we're never going to get this computer working again."
    "Sure, just allow me to exist in several places at once and I'll get that 
  done for you."
    "Ness..." Irritated Braistway stuck her hand into the hole beneath the 
  console, felt around until she found some fabric, and gripped it hard and 
  pulled. Her efforts were met by the satisfying crunch of bone hitting metal.
    "Arrgghh...coming right up ma'am." The feet and legs of the ships Chief 
  Engineer appeared first, followed by the rest of his body. The Bolian was 
  rubbing the back of his blue bald head with one of his hands, the coil 
  spanner in his other hand. "Was that really necessary? It hurt quite a bit."
    "Whoa, look at me not caring." Braistway, still annoyed, mocked. "Those 
  relays are waiting."
    "I'm gone." Still rubbing his head Ness left the bridge via the nearest 
  turbolift.
  
  
  Helmsman Lucas Rascamontes dumped his two bags on his bed and looked around 
  his quarters. Considering he'd spent his life piloting privateer and merchant 
  ships, these quarters were complete utter luxery: nice king sized bed, 
  replicator, holopod, walk-in wardrobe, a bathroom and a lounge consisting of 
  a sofa, a couple chairs, a small coffee table and a nice large vidscreen 
  dominating one of the walls. He collapsed on the sofa, and using the remote 
  control turned on the remote control and flicked through some of the more 
  popular channels. Bringing up the TV schedule he noticed Days of our Lives 
  was not on until later, and he remembered the departing words of the crewman 
  who'd shown him to his quarters.
    "The rest of the senior crew has already arrived, they're meeting and getting 
  a drink in the crew lounge."
  Seeing as he had nothing else to do, he jumped up off the sofa and made his 
  war to the crew lounge, conveniently located just a corridor away from his 
  room. Walking in he found what he recognized as an old English Pub. Between 
  tables of oddly dressed people he spied three people wearing more up to date 
  clothes chatting over drinks. Pausing quickly to get a beer from the barman, 
  he walked over to the table confidently (noticing two of the people there 
  were women) and introduced himself:
    "Ladies, I couldn’t help noticing how incredibly good looking you are the 
  moment I walked in this fine establishment, and I thought to myself, why, 
  Lucas, they look a bit lonely in a strange place like this. You know, a bit 
  scared, new experiences and all that. I’m a pilot, seen lot’s of things, so I 
  thought these damsels could do with a knight in shining armour to help them 
  through."
    “And who is our knight in shining armour then?” A thin black woman asked, 
  waving a bottle of beer around. She appeared to be in her mid-30s, though it 
  was always hard to tell with all the beauty treatments available these days. 
  But from the looks of her she wasn’t a heavy user of these, Rascamontes could 
  always tell, she had slightly rugged looks, probably the result of a decade 
  or more of working on starships. Her face was currently shaped into a 
  slightly bemused smile, Rascamontes sensed she’d been slightly taken aback by 
  his opening salvo, but he knew she’d want more. They always did.
    "Lucas Rascamontes, at your service fine lady.” Racamontes said.
    "Leanne Braistway, First Officer." She replied. Rascamontes lifted his bottle 
  of beer as acknowledgement, though Braistway ignored him and brought her own 
  bottle of beer to her lips for a drink. Rascamontes turned his attention to 
  the tables other occupants.
    "Hi sugar, Belle Scorpio, Doctor." an older woman with crazy wild brown hair 
  introduced herself, nodding to Rascamontes to sit down.
    "GorDonTer, Tactical/Security and Operations." Rascamontes turned looking for 
  a face to reply to, but found none: only a vague egg shaped mass of vines and 
  leaves coming out from the top of the uniform, odd vine-like hands coming out 
  of the sleeves. Rascamontes was speechless, finally managing to say,
    "You're a tree or something."
    "Gee, we got us an observant helmsman." Braistway remarked, using one hand to 
  move some of her long dark hair away from her face. "Maybe he deserves a 
  promotion or something. You can have my job." Rascamontes ignored Braistway, 
  and continued to stare at the mess of vines, leaves and shoots that formed 
  GorDonTers head. Noticing Rascamontes unmoving stare, one of the vines 
  forming GorDonTer's 'head' moved like a snake through the vines, forming a 
  'face' with a mouth, nose and eyes though the result was comical at best.
    "Oh, sorry if I offended you or something, just that I've never met a plant 
  before."
    "No offence taken." The plant said, the 'mouth' moving with the words as they 
  were spoken. "As a matter of fact, one is a Magnoliophyte Orchidaceae, which 
  is a type of flowering plant." It was obvious that GorDonTer had been through 
  this speech many times before and knew that any more detail would just baffle 
  the listeners. Thinking of which, Rascamontes wasn't even sure a Magnoliophyte 
  Ochi-thingy was.
    "Err...cool." He was unsure as to how he was supposed to react, but the guy 
  (could he even call it a guy?) had a big job on the ship and looked quite 
  strong, so it was cool in his book. Taking a drink from his beer he noticed 
  one of GorDonTer's hands dividing into little tendrils, which sat in a glass 
  of water slowly sucking the contents up. "This is it for senior crew then? 
  What about the Captain?"
    "Ness, the Chief Engineer, is currently running around the ship like a 
  headless chicken trying to get everything to work." Braistway remarked. "As 
  for the rest of the senior crew and the Captain, haven't got a clue."
    "Think the Captain will be any good?"
    "Not a clue." Braistway said, creeping closer to Rascamontes before muttering 
  so only he could hear it. "Think the Captain will be a mammal?"
  Before Rascamontes could reply, he heard an loud argument erupt in one half 
  of the room, causing all in the pub, holograms and crew, to turn and watch. 
  The argument seemed to involved a tall broad man, blessed with as loud a 
  voice as Rascamontes had ever heard before, arguing with a smaller man. The 
  rest of the pubs patrons seemed to take this all in their stride, and just 
  waited for the thunder to pass. When finally all was quiet somebody muttered,
    "I wish there was a way to shut him up."
    "There is you know." The Hansean's senior crew searched around the bar looking 
  for who had talked last, finally finding the source of the statement in a 
  small, neatly-dressed man in his late thirties, smoking a pipe which seemed 
  to have several small valves attached to it.
    "Nutter." Braistway murmured, turning her attention back to the others. "What's 
  this place called anyway?"
    "Today?" Doctor Scorpio answered with a question of her own. "The White Hart. 
  Tomorrow, who knows. These holographic crew lounge places are always quirky." 
  It was at that moment that Rascamontes remembered that this was a holo-lounge. 
  With the massive advances in holographic technology over the last century it 
  was now common place for the social areas of the ship to contain no actual 
  furniture, but a holodeck, allowing for easy changes depending on function and 
  the number of people. A brilliant idea, as long as the person deciding what 
  the holo-lounge scene should be had a bit of common sense in them. 
  Unfortunately it seemed in most cases the computer decided which scene to use 
  randomly, so you never knew what you'd be walking into one day from the next.
    "Indeed, very odd." GorDonTer agreed. The group turned back to listen to the 
  conversation between the pipe-smoking man and another of the pub-goers.
    "I was thinking," Pipe-smoker replied, after a couple sucks and blows on his 
  pipe, "of the ill-fated Fenton Silencer. A sad story - yet, I feel, one with 
  an interesting lesson for us all. And one day - who knows? - someone may 
  perfect it and earn the blessings of the world." Lost by the conversation 
  Rascamontes turned back to his companions, noticing they were still engrossed 
  by their neighbour's story. Starting to analyse the people he'd be working 
  with, Rascamontes decided Doctor Scorpio seemed all right, and while it was a 
  bit odd to be talking to a plant, he couldn't see himself having too many 
  problems with GorDonTer. Braistway, on the other hand, scared Rascamontes 
  slightly. He didn't know why, there was just something about the way she 
  spoke and carried herself that made Rascamontes feel uneasy.
    "...no one expected he'd ever get very far, because I don't think he could 
  even integrate e to the x." Pipe-smoker continued.
    "Is such ignorance possible?" Braistway gasped.
    "Maybe I exaggerate. Let's say x e to the x. Anyway..."
    "Listen, I'm off to the bridge, want to have a quick look around. Any of the 
  beautiful people here want to join me?" Rascamontes said, bringing the others 
  attention away from the odd pipe-smoker and back to himself.
    "One shall accompany you." GorDonTer said, though Braistway and Dr. Scorpio 
  declined shaking they’re heads. Rascamontes drained the last of the beer from 
  his bottle, as GorDonTer absorbed the remaining water from his glass into his 
  tendrils with an odd sucking sound. "Ma'am, Doctor." It said by way of 
  goodbye to the two other officers seated at the table. The two had already 
  started to ignore GorDonTer and Rascamontes and were deep in conversation.
    “I’ll see you two lovelies around.” Rascamontes said, swaggering away from 
  the table. He fancied his chances with Braistway, he knew she was a sucker 
  for a confident guy.
  Rascamontes followed GorDonTer out the crew lounge door, walking out into the 
  polished greys and whites of the starship's corridor.
    "I suppose you can't wait to get out there?" Rascamontes asked the walking 
  plant beside him. Now a full seven feet tall, GorDonTer towered over the five 
  foot eight helmsman.
    "There remains several of the crew, including the Captain to arrive on board. 
  And sales reps. One is not good at dealing with the public, but is excited to 
  work on a ship this size." Why did the thing keep referring to itself as 
  'one'? Rascamontes thought uneasily. If I got some garden shears and cut him 
  in half would there be two of him?
    "Yah, it is going to be different with a load of sales reps on board." The 
  doors to the turbolift whisked open as the two men approached. GorDonTer 
  clearly stated "Bridge", and the turbolift whisked them off to their desired 
  location within seconds whilst regaling them with the guitar solo from Iron 
  Maiden's Fear of the Dark. The tune suitably engraved in the passengers minds 
  the doors opened once more, allowing Rascamontes his first proper view of the 
  bridge of the ship he'd be piloting.
    "Now that's what I call a command centre." he whistled appreciatively. He 
  stepped out of the turbolift, located near the back-left of the bridge. 
  Another turbolift was located opposite to the back-right in the bridge. In 
  between the two turbolifts was the massive Tac/Ops station, a semi-circular 
  console surrounded by a variety of screens and displays on the walls around 
  it. GorDonTer approached his station, and started working on the front main 
  console. Rascamontes looked down on the rest of the bridge, sloping down 
  towards the viewscreen. The bridge consisted of three "levels", each tier 
  separated by a step. The back tier consisted of the turbolifts, the 
  GorDonTer's Tac/Ops station, and the toilets located at the very back of the 
  bridge, alongside the Captain's Cabin, a private office for the First Mate, 
  and the Conference Room. Rascamontes quickly leaned into the toilets, 
  noticing the three familiar signs: Gents, Ladies, and Others. The next tier 
  down was the heart of the bridge, with the two command chairs flanking the 
  Captains chair, and at either side of the command chairs were two small 
  'peninsula' stations, called such because they consisted of a front console 
  with wall displays surrounding two other sides of the station leaving only 
  one side open for the occupant to enter and leave. From his elevated position 
  the Captain could easily monitor communications and sensors which would be 
  worked by the officers at these posts. The lowest and final tier consisted of 
  the console Rascamontes was the most interested in: the helm. He walked down 
  the steps to his station, he sat down in the swivly chair and began playing 
  around with the console.
    "Ugh, factory settings." He moaned. "This is gonna take a while." 
  
  
    "Speech! Speech!" Crewman Jenkins shouted from his helm console at the front 
  of the bridge, though he was quickly silenced as Captain Hatters slapped him 
  across the head. 
    "That'll be enough Crewman." As Jenkins glared angrily at Hatters, the former 
  first officer turned Captain turned to the previous commander of the SS 
  Spallanzani. "So Captain, any last words?"
    "Well guys." Reimann said, standing at the centre of the bridge for what 
  would probably be the last time. "It's been fun. Good luck and all that stuff. 
  Never been much for words, I'm sure you'll all do a brilliant job for the new 
  Captain. So, I guess that's goodbye. Have a good one."
    "Moving words sir." Jenkins offered. Hatters looked like he was prepared to 
  slap the poor Crewman again, though he managed to restrain himself.
    "As a parting gift, the science department cooked something up for you."
    "Oh, what is it?" Reimann asked, turning towards the ship's Chief Science 
  officer, Mr.Far'dual as the nervous looking seven foot tall red-furred Bruda 
  stepped forward.
    "We got you this Captain." Far'dual gave Reimann a large glass vial, within 
  which a mist of pink, violet and red swirls danced a captivating ballet of 
  patterns.
    "Nice one. Thank you, I appreciate it."
    "Do you need any help with moving your stuff?" Hatters asked.
    "No, thank you John. It's already been beamed over to my new ship."
    "Very good then. Now get the hell of my bridge." Hatters smiled at Reimann. 
  The departing Captain smiled and headed off towards the turbolift where 
  Yeoman Jarvis was waiting, only pausing slightly at the last minute. He 
  turned back, had a quick glace round the bridge, and said to Hatters.
    "Take care of her."
    "Will do sir." Reimann nodded, got into the turbolift and left.
  
  
    "So what’s the plan?" Reimann asked, leaving the turbolift and stepping foot 
  for the first time on his new ship. He turned away quickly from his Yeoman to 
  wipe away a tear that had been forming in his eye.
    "Crying sir?" Henry mocked.
    "Just got some dust or something in my eye."
    "Sure, whatever you say." The Yeoman countered. "Leanne Braistway, that's 
  your new first officer by the way, is waiting for us in the conference room 
  along with the senior officers. They'll brief you with what's up on the ship, 
  you give them the orders Admiral Aamdbrbp gave you, and people go off to get 
  stuff down."
    "Sounds good." Reimann said, though Henry sensed there was a "but" coming. 
    "Except I haven't had any orders from Admiral Aamdbrbp."
  Henry smiled knowingly, and held up a PADD she had been carrying in her left 
  hand. "Yes you have."
    "Henry, what would I do without you."
    "Hire someone a hell of a lot worse looking?"
    "Probably." Reimann shrugged, reading through the message contained on the 
  PADD. "Hmmm...should be interesting. Come on then, my crew awaits."
  
  
    "I really hate waiting." Braistway moaned, pacing up and down the conference 
  lounge.
    "Calm down sugar, the Captain'll be here any moment now." Doctor Scorpio 
  tried. While Braistway paced she'd been relaxing in one of the comfortable 
  chairs around the long table set out in the centre of the room.
    "I mean, what's the point?" The first officer continued. "This ship is still 
  way behind schedule, loads of work to be done. So what do we do? Stand around 
  in the conference lounge, as if I couldn't be off doing something else."
    "Such as?" Ness, the Bolian Chief Engineer, inquired. He'd noticed that while 
  Braistway moaned, ranted and shouted a lot, she seemed to get very little 
  hands-on work done.
    "Busting your sweet blue behind back to Crewman for starters." Braistway 
  replied. Ness just shook his head and became very interested in the part of 
  the table he was sitting on front of.
    "Hey, I’m sure I can come up with something to pass the time.” Rascamontes 
  said. “You seen a closet up close lately? I promise to give you a bit of time 
  to enjoy the view before you’re attentions on the fine equipment therein 
  contained?” Rascamontes asked Braistway. Braistway dind’t reply, though she 
  snorted and turned away from Rascamontes. She knew she shouldn’t be wasting 
  her time on him, his chat up lines were horrid beyond belief, yet there was 
  still something that made her wonder, what if…
    “Still no idea what the Captain's like?" Rascamontes asked, taking Braistway 
  out of her reverie and back to the real world.
    "Ask Flash Gordon over there, he's the one that got the message telling us 
  all to waste our time here." She said.
    "Flash Gordon?" GorDonTer asked, mulling the words over in his head. "Old 
  Earth Hero featuring in various entertainment mediums. In addition, a play on 
  words involving one's name. One thinks one likes it."
    "Good for you. About the Captain?" Braistway pressed, unhappy that the 
  Tac/Ops officer had taken nicely to his nickname. She'd have to come up with 
  a more derogatory one.
    "One does not know, one only received a textual communication summoning us to 
  the Conference Lounge at this time to meet our new Captain."
    "Thanks Flash." Rascamontes joked, noticing the vines making up GorDonTer's 
  mock mouth moved upwards in the reproduction of a smile. Thirsty, he decided 
  to get a drink. He wandered over to the replicator, and ordered. "Fizzy water, 
  medium glass." The replicator hummed and his order appeared. Taking a sip 
  from his drink, Rascamontes turned towards the others in the room. "Anyone 
  else want anything?"
    "Tarkelean tea." Scorpio asked for.
    "I thought you said yesterday that you didn't drink tea?" Braistway asked.
    "I don't, it’s for you. Soothing properties, great for stress relief."
    "No thanks, I'll survive." The first officer said.
    "You sure honey? You're looking a bit stressed." Scorpio continued.
    "I'm sure."
    "If you permit one?" Flash asked moving towards the replicator. Rascamontes 
  moved back, allowing the tall plant full access to the machine. "GorDonTer 
  feeding supplement fourteen, 10% diluted in water." Once again the replicator 
  hummed as it go to work, the result another medium sized glass of what 
  appeared to be plain water.
    "What's in there?" Rascamontes asked.
    "For the most part it is just water, in addition with small parts of 
  potassium, magnesium and carbon. Nitrogen as well. All one needs to ensure 
  optimum health."
    "Water with a bit of minerals. Doesn't it get boring every now and again just 
  having the same old stuff?" Braistway asked.
    "One sometimes adds extra calcium. Various other nutrients may change the 
  nature of the feed."
    "He's gonna be an odd one for dietary advice Doctor." Braistway joked.
    "Hey, I know very little about plants. I'm sorry sugar, you'd probably be 
  better off seeing a botanist if you're having any problems." 
    "One shall keep that in mind Doctor, my gratitude is yours. However one is 
  able to judge and solve most of one's health problems relatively easily."
  The doors to the conference centre swished open, as Reimann and Henry entered 
  the room.
    "Captain on deck!" Flash shouted, according to regulations. A bit Starfleety 
  in his opinion, but it worked to keep the chain of command outside a normal 
  military structure. Scorpio and Ness, who had been sitting down at the 
  conference table stood to greet their new Captain, and all the officers in 
  the room.
    "Calm down, I'm not the CEO." Reimann joked. "Make yourselves comfortable." 
  He said, sitting down at the head of the table with Henry taking the chair to 
  his left. Braistway sat down opposite Henry, and the rest of the officers 
  also found somewhere to sit.
    "Welcome on board Captain." Braistway started.
    "Its certainly nice to be on board. You must be Leanne Braistway, I've been 
  told good things about you from Captain Herables, lets hope you keep up the 
  good work. How's the ship holding up?"
    "Ness would be the best person to tell you sir."
    "Fair one, go ahead." Reimann scanned the entire table, trying to decide who 
  Ness actually was. He finally settled on the odd-looking plant thing, though 
  the voice that answered his request came from the Bolian sitting next to it.
    "90% of systems are operational Captain, though we are still having some 
  problems establishing a stable Warp field. We're recalibrating the feeds into 
  all eight of our nacelles, I expect that shall solve our problem within the 
  next few hours. Other than that, apart from a few sub systems in the lower 
  decks, the ship is space-worthy."
    "Nice one. Doctor Scorpio, how's Sickbay?" Reimann managed to successfully 
  identify his Chief Medic as she was the only one wearing a white lab coat.
    "I couldn't be happier Captain, full of supplies and all systems check out 
  perfect. Once my complete staff is available for review I will be able to 
  give a more thorough report."
    "Very well, I'll be waiting for that one. Tac/Ops?" The Captain asked into 
  open space, as a man in a car park looking for his lost car would hold up the 
  remote key, hoping that the lights of one of the cars might flash, 
  unveiling its location.
    "This starship is extremely well armed with the newest technologies." Flash 
  replied. "While the starships armaments are as standard, one is extremely 
  impressed with its shield and deflector systems. The starship has also been 
  installed with state of the art communication and sensor equipment."
    "Mr. GorDonTer?" Reimann ventured.
    "That is correct Captain, though one will also answer to Flash." The Tac/Ops 
  officer finished.
    "Very well. And finally helm, that must be you Lucas Rascamontes?"
    "Yes sir. I'll need to actually take her out for a ride for systems to be 
  optimal, but so far everything checks out. She’s looking smooth Captain."
    "Good." Reimann was about to continue but Henry got his attention. He leaned 
  forward as she whispered into his ear, surprise being etched onto his face. 
    "Oh, it seems that like me you were actually kept in the dark about who I 
  actually am. Honestly, Human Resources needs to get its act together one of 
  these days. But I digress. I'm Captain Klaus Reimann. Hi everybody."
    "Hi Captain." Several of the crew returned.
    "And this is Yeoman Henrietta Jarvis." Reimann said introducing his Yeoman.
    "But everybody calls me Henry." She supplied.
    "Okay, that's introductions done." The Captain continued. "Next up, orders. 
  While we're in orbit around Earth and we're still missing the majority of our 
  crew and cargo, Admiral Aamdbrbp has ordered us to engage in a team building 
  project called the 'Senior Crew Bonding Session'. It aims to rapidly form a 
  strong working environment within which a ships command staff can operate, 
  and as we have just all met each other for the first time and have plenty of 
  time to waste it can't hurt to get to know each other better."
    "Captain, with the ship still not at peak efficiency perhaps it is best if 
  one of the senior officers remain behind to supervise the Engineering crew's 
  efforts." Braistway said, trying to weasel her way out of taking part.
    "Good point. Mr.Ness, you'll be excused from the 'Senior Crew Bonding 
  Session'. With any luck you and your staff will have everything up and 
  running by the time we're finished. Everyone else meet me outside Holodeck 
  One in half an hour. Dress as if you we're going camping to a..." Reimann 
  checked the PADD again, quoting from it. "...temperate deciduous forest. 
  Dismissed." 
  
  
    "Hello? Anybody here?" Soledad Sanchez Rios shouted as she walked through 
  the docking port and on to the ship that'd be her home for foreseeable 
  future.  She didn't have that much with her, just one duffel bag slung over 
  her shoulder with a few personal things in it, and the PADD containing her 
  orders from Admiral Aamdbrbp telling her to report to the commanding officer 
  of the ship asap. Franz and more of her key staff would be joining her on the 
  ship in the following days. The level of inactivity on board surprised her, 
  for a starship undergoing a refit there was a definite lack of Engineers. 
  Shrugging it off, she set about finding the ships commanding officer.
    "Computer, please locate this starships CO."
    "The starships commanding officer is currently outside holodeck one." The 
  Computer replied. Sanchez then brought up a map of the ship, and locating 
  Holodeck One she started walking to the nearest turbolift. As it took her to 
  her desired location, 'Jailhouse Rock' by Elvis being played over the 
  turbolifts speakers, she wondered about how big the ship really must be for 
  it to still have its own Holodeck. For nearly a decade now starships had been 
  equipped with individual holopods in each crew members quarters which could 
  be linked into the same holoprogram if the users wished to do so, with 
  Holodecks of much greater size only being used for larger training exercises 
  or for sports events requiring a large area. The turbolift finally stopped at 
  the desired location, and Sanchez walked out, her final destination just 
  around the corner.
  
  
    "There you are Leanne! Ready for a bit of outdoors fun?" Captain Reimann 
  asked, as the ships first officer joined himself and Yeoman Jarvis waiting 
  outside Holodeck One for the rest of the command staff to arrive.
    "Yippee." Braistway replied unenthusiastically. She was dressed her normal 
  clothes, but with the latest Dillons field jacket on top of that and carrying 
  a special field pack on her back.
    "Come now, I've always enjoyed camping out and I'm sure you will too."
    "I'm not a big fan of the great outdoors Captain." Braistway said. "That's 
  why I work on a Starship, not in some Nature Reserve."
    "A bit of fresh air never hurt anyone." Reimann continued trying to make 
  Braistway more enthusiastic. Braistway decided not to bother telling him that 
  as a holodeck the air they'd be breathing would be the same as they were 
  breathing now.
    "Indeed Captain." she ended up responding. It was at that moment that Sanchez 
  walked round the corner, spotting the three officers.
    "Klaus!" she shouted, surprised.
    "Soledad!" he said in return, equally surprised. "Didn't know you were going 
  to visit, you should have called."
    "Visit?" Sanchez asked.
    "Of course, my new ship. What do you think of her?"
    "You're ship? Oh no, this is not happening to me."
    "You feeling alright?" Reimann asked, moving towards her concerned.
    "Oh, I'm fine." Sanchez replied. "Listen, I need to speak with you, in 
  private."
    "Sure." Reimann said, motioning towards the holodeck. The doors parted 
  allowing Sanchez in, Reimann following. "Henry, Leanne, do me a favour and 
  just tell the others to wait a second once they arrived, this shouldn't take 
  too long."
    "Sure thing sir." Henry replied, leaning back against the corridor wall, her 
  arms crossed.
  
  
    "Klaus, you're the Captain of this ship."
    "Sure, yeah. That’s why you're here, isn't it?" Reimann asked, the black 
  squares surrounded by yellow background of the offline holodeck behind him. 
  Sanchez shook her head and handed Reimann the PADD she'd been carrying with 
  her orders on. The further he read the angrier he got.
    "This can't be serious. I can't believe Aamdbrbp's done this, I'm going to 
  speak to him."
    "I'm not sure that'd be a good idea." Sanchez said.
    "Well what's my other option, keep you on board?" Reimann said irritated, as 
  Sanchez pouted.
    "Sure, yes, what's so wrong with that?"
    "What's right with this? You're an Accountant and a member of the Board, I 
  can't have someone of a potentially higher rank on this ship, it defeats the 
  entire purpose of me commanding this vessel." Although Reimann complained 
  about the problems of rank, Sanchez knew that was not the main reason he 
  didn't want her on board. Couldn't really fault the man, after what had 
  happened...Well, if he didn't want to talk about it, she wouldn't.
    "You'd still be Captain of the ship, as far as the chain of command is 
  concerned I'd be ranked fourth behind yourself, and your First and Second 
  Officers. I've been in an office for far too long to suddenly command a 
  starship again, and anyway I haven't got the time to go usurping your 
  position."
    "It still isn't right Soledad." Reimann continued. "You run an Accounting 
  department, you can't do that from a starship that's bound to get sent to the 
  middle of nowhere."
    "Aamdbrbp seems to disagree with you. Listen, I'm not all whoop-dee-doo about 
  this either, in fact I think I'll probably kill him the next time I see him, 
  but lets just try and make the best of it."
  From the expression on Reimann's face Sanchez could tell he still wasn't 
  happy about this.
    "Braistway to Reimann." The First Mates voice broke up their argument. 
  Reimann opened his communicator to reply.
    "What is Leanne?"
    "The entire command staff is here waiting sir. Are you ready to proceed?" 
    "Sure, send everyone right in." Reimann finished, and seconds later the 
  holodeck doors parted allowing Braistway, Henry, Scorpio, Flash and 
  Rascamontes in. "Listen up everyone, this is Soledad Sanchez Rios, she's the 
  head of Dillon Consortium Accounting and a member of the Board of 
  Executives. Because of a new Board initiative she's been posted to our ship, 
  I know you'll help her fit in. As far as you guys and the chain of command 
  are concerned she's fourth in the structure after myself Leanne and Doctor 
  Scorpio, though I expect you'll all treat her as befitting her real rank. 
  Now, we all ready for a little day out in the wild? Nice One. Computer start 
  program Training Beta Three Gamma."
  The holodecks surroundings changed, dumping the Hansean's crew in the middle 
  of a pine forest in winter.
  
   
  At the same time, in Reimann's quarters, the gas inside the glass vial the 
  Captain had been given as a parting gift from the Spallanzani continued to 
  swirl around.
    "Interesting..." the mind in the nebula gas thought. Expanding, sending its 
  particles to collide with the walls of the vial that kept it prisoner, the 
  mind managed to break out, forming into a cloud hovering roughly five feet 
  off the ground. The nebula mind looked round the room, noting all the 
  furniture and doors leading into other rooms and out into the corridors. The 
  nebula mind sensed other life forms out in the corridors.
    "Friends!" it thought, heading out the doors.
  
  
  Crewman Luz Galleto stood surrounded by cables, but satisfied with a job well 
  done. She'd spent the last fourteen hours non-stop first finding a fault in 
  the EPS conduit network and then fixing it, and was just about ready to find 
  her bed, drop into it and remain unconscious for the next ten hours. But 
  first she had repacked her tools into the case she was carrying with her, she 
  knew Ness wouldn't bee too happy if she left things just lying around. 
  Correction, that horrible Braistway woman wouldn't be very happy with her and 
  Ness, and therefore Ness wouldn't be very happy with her. Collecting the 
  final spanners and placing them in the protective foam she shut the case and 
  got up to leave. Turning down the corridor, she came face to face with an odd 
  floating cloud. It was definitely weird, and definitely something that 
  shouldn't be on front of her, Galleto knew at least that much. Mystified by 
  the swirling red, pink and violet colours, she took her quadcorder out and 
  started scanning as the cloud moved quickly towards her. She tried to step 
  back out of its way, but before she could react she'd been enveloped by it.
  "Friend!" Had the cloud just spoken to her? Galleto thought not, she hadn't 
  heard anything. But it had said something, could she be reading its thoughts?
    "Friend!" the cloud seemed to speak again. Galleto decided that considering 
  the circumstances it was probably best to be friendly with whatever it was.
    "Yes, friend. Nice, friend." She replied, holding up her hands as if to 
  assure it.
    "Friend! Happy! Friend!" The cloud spoke/thought back. The cloud was 
  definitely happy, the patterns composing it moving with increased vigour and 
  speed, however Galleto was not. She started coughing, short shallow breaths 
  unable to stop the impending asphyxiation.
    "Stop it! Stop it!" She shouted, stumbling forward in search for air to 
  breath.
    "Panic! Fear! Anger! Hate! Fear!" the cloud spoke/thought as it moved with 
  Galleto, keeping her surrounding in its mist.
    "Let me go! No!" Galleto, panic-stricken, shouted. She collapsed to the floor 
  in a coughing fit. She scrambled along the floor but could not move far, 
  surrounded completely by the cloud. She welcomed unconsciousness when it 
  came.
    "No friend! No friend! Friend gone!" the cloud thought, saddened. It then 
  moved on. 
  
  
  Crewman Frevok departed his quarters and walked towards Engineering. At his 
  current pace the Vulcan would reach Engineering in three point five minutes, 
  an adequate time which would allow him to report to Chief Engineer Ness at 
  the exact time at which he was meant to go on duty. As he approached the 
  turbolift an odd cloud floated through one of the walls, blocking his path.
    "How odd." Frevok said, examining the cloud closely. The cloud seemed 
  composed of a haze of red, pink and violet gas, forming several patterns 
  Frevok found strangely appealing and amusing. He decided the logical way to 
  express these thoughts was with a raised eyebrow. He did so, selecting his 
  left eyebrow for that specific task. As he moved his eyebrow the cloud moved 
  towards him until Frevok could not see through it, and the cloud existed 
  around him. There was no escape.
    "Friend!" Frevok felt the cloud tell him. It appeared it communicated through 
  telepathic methods.
    "Friend!" The cloud repeated.
    "Please address issue of possible friendship using a summarised bullet point 
  list." Frevok thought back. It was the only logical solution. The cloud 
  seemed stumped by his request, but came back with an answer.
    "Friend!"
    "I request you list advantages and disadvantages to both parties: a) yourself 
  and b) myself including an evaluation of benefits the suggested friendship 
  would bring." Frevok said, trying to get his point across more forcibly.
    "Happy! Friend!" Oh well, Frevok thought, seeing that the cloud-being was not 
  going to co-operate. He started moving forward, attempting to get away from 
  the cloud. It, however, followed it.
    "Desist from your efforts." Frevok told the cloud. "Our friendship at this 
  point in time is not a logical step to undertake." No matter what Frevok did 
  it continued following him. "Please desist, I require staple oxygen for 
  continued survival which you are currently depriving me of." It was useless, 
  the cloud wasn't going to let him go.
    "Friend!" It said, one last time. Frevok was quite happy with himself as he 
  kept the whole emotion-less thing going as he suffocated to death. 
  
  
    "Remind me not to crawl through conduit fourteen-C again Jack, I swear it's 
  smaller than all the other conduits." Ness joked as he climbed out of the 
  Jeffries tube into Engineering, his work uniform covered in stains. "Jack? 
  Jack!" Ness shouted, not getting a result from Crewman Jack Nubis, one of the 
  Engineers assigned from the Service Orbital to help with the ships refit. 
  Still getting no answer he looked around the immediate area, finally finding 
  him slumped down on the floor next to one of the consoles. "Jack!" Ness 
  shouted, running towards the fallen Engineer. He knelt down next to the body, 
  turning it over so his back was on the floor. Ness shook him, and getting to 
  response he checked for a pulse. Nothing there. He pinched his comm badge, 
    "Ness to Sickbay! Medical Emergency!" No response. Ness looked around 
  Engineering, desperately looking for help. He only saw Crewman Bea Dean, on 
  the floor next to the Warp Core, her contorted face the only clue as to what 
  had happened to her. Panicked Ness jumped up to check how she was, but heard 
  a scream near the Secondary Impulse Manifold Display. He turned, seeing an 
  odd cloud floating its way towards the Warp Core, then turning to move 
  towards him.
    "Friend!" The cloud thought. Hopefully this friend would last longer than the 
  others. 
  
  
  Reimann, Henry, Flash, Rascamontes and Scorpio sat around the completed 
  campfire in the forest, huddling close to capture the warmth. Despite the 
  time, two o'clock in the afternoon, Flash estimated the temperature to be 
  close to freezing. And although it wasn’t providing much warmth though the 
  sun provided plenty of light, so Sanchez and Braistway had volunteered to go 
  and hunt their dinner, using two of the phasers they had with them. 
  Seeing as this was designed as a “Senior Crew Bonding Session” Reimann took 
  it upon himself to start conversation.
    “So tell me about the ships you last served on.”
    “Oh come on Captain, you’ve read our profiles, you already know that.” 
  Rascamontes replied, trying to shift closer to the fire without burning 
  himself. The helm officer seemed to be taking the cold conditions worse than 
  the rest of them.
    “That’s not the spirit! Look, I’ll start. I’ve just been reassigned from the 
  SS Spallanzani.”
    “Spallanzani?” Rascamontes laughed. “Not the most impressive sounding name 
  for a starship.”
    “Now Lucas,” Reimann replied, “Spallanzani was a pretty impressive guy.”
    “Oh great, now you’ve got him started.” Henry muttered, curling up to hide 
  her head between her legs.
    “Lazzaro Spallanzani,” Reimann continued, “was an Italian who became 
  professor of logic, metaphysics and Greek in the university of Reggio, Italy, 
  in his 20's and he continued to teach with great assiduity and success in 
  many other universities. His indefatigable exertions as a traveller, his 
  skill and good fortune as a collector, his brilliance as a teacher and 
  expositor, and his keenness as a controversialist no doubt contribute to 
  Spallanzani's exceptional fame among his contemporaries. His life was one of 
  incessant eager questioning of nature on all sides, and his works all 
  wonderful examples of a fresh and original genius, capable of stating and 
  solving problems in all departments of science, at one time finding the true 
  explanation of ‘ducks and drakes’, formerly attributed to the elasticity of 
  water, and at another helping to lay the foundations of our modern 
  vulcanology and meteorology. Spallanzani researched and disproved the theory 
  about the spontaneous generation of cellular life. He proved that microbes 
  come from the air, and that they could be killed through boiling. This work 
  paved the way for later research by Louis Pasteur. Spallanzani also 
  discovered and described mammal reproduction, showing that it requires both 
  semen and an ovum. He was the first to perform an artificial insemination, 
  using a dog. And on top of all that Spallanzani showed that some animals, 
  especially lizards, can regenerate some parts of their body if injured or 
  surgically removed.”
    “Your ship was named after the guy who invented artificial insemination?” 
  Scorpio laughed. “Wow, that’s definitely something.”
    “As opposed to some Klingons that name their battle cruisers after their 
  Grandmothers? Hey, I’d take Spallanzani any day.” Rascamontes put in his 
  opinion. “The SS Albertina doesn’t have that good a ring to it.”
    “Albertina, means noble. Very nice name.” Reimann said, stoking the fire with 
  a stick he had found.
    “You know the meanings of names as well?”
    “He’s the Captain.” Henry winked at Rascamontes. “He knows everything.”
    “Indeed I do.” Reimann agreed. 
    "Hey, who fancies a bit of dead rabbit-like-thing!" Braistway shouted, 
  returning from the hunt with Sanchez and three dead animals she correctly 
  approximated to rabbits, which she held hanging by their bag legs from her 
  fist.
    "Always preferable to eating live rabbit-like-things." Reimann said, trying 
  to drum up enthusiasm for their dinner. "Leanne, you take the knife and start 
  skinning them. I'll set up the casserole, we'll make a nice stew out of them. 
  Flash, take Lucas and the good Doctor and get us some nice roots and berries 
  to eat, we can cook them with the meat. You know what you're looking for, 
  just remember to scan it all with a quadcorder to make sure it isn't 
  poisonous."
    "Yes sir." Flash answered, checking his quadcorder for bearings and heading 
  out north, Rascamontes and Scorpio following behind.
    "Hey, Captain, how come I get all the fun jobs?" Braistway asked starting to 
  split the skin and fur from the muscle which would make up their meal.
    "Because your simply the best for them dear." Reimann answered diplomatically. 
  Left without a job to do Sanchez added some logs to the fire and looked 
  around at the camp that the others had built whilst herself and Braistway had 
  been out hunting their dinner.
    "Does anybody even know how long we have to spend in this dump?" She asked 
  groggily.
    "Dump! You've simply been too comfortable in your office Soledad." Reimann 
  answered. "This is a veritable palace. We've got running water not far away, 
  a brilliant fire going and we're about to start a meal fit for a king. Utter 
  luxury!"
    "You're enjoying yourself way too much Klaus." Sanchez shivered with the 
  cold, and moved closer to the fire.
    "You know me too well Soledad. This is fun!" The scary thing was Sanchez 
  actually believed him when he said that. Disgusted with Reimann's enthusiasm 
  she decided not to continue the argument.
    "Toilet, back in a second." Henry said, jumping up from the fire.
    "Okay, take Soledad with you." 
    "What?" Both Henry and Sanchez said in unison following Reimann's statement.
    "Oh grow up. We're in possibly hostile territory, we have no idea what 
  predators are around here. No one should walk about by themselves." Reimann 
  said, matter-of-factly. "And you're at your most vulnerable when you're, ah, 
  using the latrines." he finished diplomatically.
    "Its a holodeck program! I'm not about to be attacked by a ravenous wolf or 
  anything!" Henry complained.
    "This is training for the real thing! The spirit of the exercise is to act as 
  if it were a real-life situation."
    "What makes you think I'd let her come with me in a real-life situation?" 
  Henry was now starting to get annoyed, putting her hands on her hips and 
  biting her lower lip.
    "What are you, ten years old? She won't look." As much as Reimann wanted to 
  remain serious, he simply couldn't. He managed to stop himself laughing, but 
  the amusement he was getting out of the situation was visible on his face. 
  Henry picked up one of the phasers.
    "Listen, I'm taking this with me and I'll shoot anyone or anything that comes 
  near me."
    "Okay," Reimann conceded, "but I want to hear you talking to me at all times.
    "Yah, sure, lets just hold a conversation while I take a dump." Henry said 
  moving off to where they had dug some latrines earlier in the day.
    "That's the spirit." Reimann said, ignoring the sarcasm in Henry's last 
  statement. "Just keep talking so one of us can hear you."
    "Right. So what do you want me to talk about? I don't usually talk all that 
  much to people when I normally do this." Henry waited for either Sanchez, 
  Reimann or Braistway to respond, but none of them did. After about ten 
  seconds Reimann shouted to her,
    "Can't hear you talking!"
    "Oh great, you're not going to say anything, so I'm just gonna have to go off 
  on a monologue. Brilliant, just brilliant. Well, what can I talk about. How 
  about a play-by-play commentary, that should make you happy. Okay, I've just 
  reached the latrines, absolutely lovely holes in the ground. Amazing piece of 
  twenty-sixth century engineering. I wonder which one to use, nice of people 
  to dig a couple instead of just the one. Okay, I'll go for the one on the 
  left. Time for me now to pull down my..."
    "Change the topic Yeoman! I'm trying to cook dinner here!" Braistway shouted.
    "Agreed. Talk about something else Henry!" Reimann ordered.
    "Oh, I just know I'm going to be telling all of this to a psychiatrist one of 
  these days. Err...how about dem Space Cowboys!" Henry said referring to the 
  American Football team, a sport revived some hundred years ago. "Heard they 
  beat the crap out of the Tellaraite Toasters last weekend..." Henry stopped 
  when she thought she heard something on the other side of a large bush next 
  to her. "Who's there?" she shouted, picking up her phaser and training it on 
  whatever was on the other side.
    "It's Rascamontes!"
    "Okay, stay there!" Henry told the helmsman, trying to retain at least one 
  shred of dignity and privacy.
    "Why?"
    "I'm trying to take a dump here!"
    "Oh. Right then." Rascamontes said surprised.
    "Thanks. Okay then, on with the Space Cowboys. People have been saying their 
  new quarterbacks almost as good as Steff Baxter, but I doubt it..."
    "Err...Yeoman?" Rascamontes asked.
    "I've told you already, call me Henry. Everybody does."
    "Err, okay, Henry. Is this something you normally do when you're using a 
  toilet, 'cause it’s kinda weird. Talking all the time I mean."
    "No, I normally don't do this, but Captain Enemy Territory over there thinks 
  I'm going to get attacked or eaten or something, so I've got to talk all the 
  time so he knows I'm doing okay."
    "That's my girl!" Reimann piped up from the Camp.
    "Fair enough." Rascamontes conceded. "You done yet, there's some pretty good 
  looking strawberry things just nearby."
    "Just give me a minute okay! Keep your pants on!" Henry shouted annoyed. 
    "Now that's definitely one bad pun." Scorpio laughed from somewhere off to 
  her left, clouded by some trees.
    "Please Doctor, one detests toilet jokes and regardless this is hardly the 
  time." Flash added from next to the Doctor.
    "Oh, great, why don't you just put all of this on holovision, lets see if 
  there's anyone left who hasn't seen me make a complete fool of myself." 
  Rascamontes heard the sound to trousers being pulled and zipped up. "There, 
  done!" Henry finished, appearing from out behind the bushes, blushing 
  aggressively. Rascamontes was sure he'd never seen anyone with a face redder 
  than hers. 
    "How you feeling?" He asked, trying to be supportive.
    "I'm going to kill him."
    "You do that. And remember to wash your hands." Rascamontes ran for it before 
  Henry could retaliate. 
  
 
    "There you go, looking good." Reimann said, handing Braistway a cup-full of 
  the stew and a fork. Braistway peered into the cup where pieces of the white 
  rabbit-like meat floated on top of slices of the banana-like fruits, several 
  fattish roots which were mostly of a purple-ish colour and some thick leaves  
  that had been chopped up.
    "Guess nobody remembered to bring some ketchup? Yah, didn't think so." she 
  said, answering her own question. Using the fork she picked up one of the 
  pieces of root, studied it for several moments before popping it into her 
  mouth. She chewed thoughtfully.
    "Well?" Rascamontes asked. The rest of the crew were waiting for Braistway to 
  keel over and die, but instead she swallowed the root and picked up some more 
  of the stew with the fork.
    "Hey, this ain't too bad."
    "Nice one. Well done everyone." Reimann said, dishing out. He filled out cups 
  for Rascamontes, Sanchez, Henry and himself, before turning to Flash. "Can I 
  tempt you?" he asked, referring to the stew.
    "No, thank you Captain. One is currently intaking my culinary requirements 
  from the soil."
    "Err...nice one, I guess."
    "Yes sir. One can penetrate deep into the soil, which in the current case is 
  rich in a variety of minerals and nutrients. One shall require water later 
  on, which one can acquire from the soil which is extremely permeable." Flash 
  seemed to think for a while. "One estimates the soil currently holds the 
  equivalent of approximately five millimetres of rainfall, ample water for 
  one's needs."
    "Not bad. Okay troops, good work done today."
  
  
  Following the dinner the group huddled around the fire. Reimann assigned one 
  hour watches to each crew member to keep guard throughout the night, and 
  using the odd rag and extra bit of clothing they had with them the crew 
  fashioned out a sleeping area under the cover of several branches and leaves 
  arranged as a makeshift roof. As the night progressed each crewmember got as 
  much sleep as they could, waking up for their watches. Soon, morning came.
  
  
    "Training Program Successfully Completed. Congratulations. Program 
  terminated." The feminine voice of the Computer said, and their surroundings 
  disappeared leaving the familiar walls of the holodeck visible.
    "Well done guys!" Reimann said, getting up off the ground and stretching.
    "Remind me never to go camping again." Braistway muttered, though Reimann 
  heard her regardless.
    "Come now, proper Camping is fun. We'll do it sometime, though we'll take 
  sleeping bags and mats with us, have somewhere comfortable to sleep.
    "Sure thing sir." If Reimann heard the sarcasm in Braistway's voice he chose 
  to ignore it. 
    "Computer, exit." Rascamontes asked, and the doorway leading out to the 
  corridor appeared. Grateful, the crew wondered out.
    "I think everyone deserves a bit of a rest, so you've all got five hours off 
  in which to shower, eat, clean yourselves up and sleep a bit. We'll reconvene 
  in the conference lounge at..." Reimann checked the time on the wall 
  displayed next to the holodeck. "...Eleven-hundred hours. Dismissed."
  Content at the prospect of cleaning themselves and sleeping in their 
  comfortable beds the senior officers drudged off towards the nearest 
  turbolift and their quarters. Only Reimann and Sanchez remained behind.
    "So what do you think?" Sanchez asked.
    "They've got potential." Reimann answered. "Should I expect to see you at the 
  conference lounge later?"
    "Sure, I'm part of the crew now, for better or worse."
    "Nice one..."
    "Captain!" Reimann heard Henry's shout, and ran off towards the turbolift 
  with Sanchez hot in pursuit. As Reimann turned a corner he found the officers 
  crowded round a fallen body. Doctor Scorpio and Braistway were hunched over 
  the fallen crewman, with Flash holding Rascamontes and Henry back to give 
  them room in which to act. Scorpio lent back against the wall, shaking her 
  head.
    "She's long gone." With Scorpio out of the way Reimann was now able to 
  clearly see the body, that of a young female crewmember, pain etched on her 
  face.
    "Crewman Luz Galleto." Braistway said, naming the dead woman. "She was just 
  twenty-three."
    "Any idea what did it Doctor? How long ago?" Reimann asked.
    "Can only guess, but it looks like asphyxiation. Nasty way to go. As for 
  time, couldn't guess. If you must have a figure, nearly twelve hours."
    "Twelve hours?" Sanchez said, incredulous. "That's donkey's years, why hasn't 
  anyone found her before, or report her missing?"
  Reimann had a nasty feeling about this. He squeezed his comm badge.
    "Reimann to Ness, report. Ness?" Reimann got to answer. "Engineering? Anyone 
  there? This is Captain Reimann to anyone on board, this is an emergency,  
  please report in."
  Silence.
 
 
   TO BE CONTINUED...
   
 
 
 
 NEXT TIME ON THE INCONGRUOUS VOYAGES:
 
 What is happening on board? Who or what killed everyone? Will it kill 
 Reimann and Co? Read all about it in "Out For a Smoke", Part II of "The 
 Incongruous Arrival", same Traks Time, same Traks Channel!