My Lord of the Rings Fan Fiction
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Part Three
Epilogue
These writings were found in early, copied manuscripts of the Red Book of Westmarch, obviously penned by someone other than Frodo himself, or Samwise Gamgee (aka Gardner). It has been theorized that this Epilogue was written by none other than Frodo�s old friend from his childhood, Lillian of Bucklebury. It provides invaluable further information about events that were not recorded in the Red Book for reasons that will be discussed within the Epilogue.
It was some time after the Scouring of the Shire. The four hobbits of the Fellowship of the Ring had caused an uprising in the Shire, to rebel against the forces of Saruman, that had occupied their fair land for too long (But their deeds in this are recounted elsewhere, and do not come into this tale).
Merry and Pippin were given special responsibilities and honours for giving their allegiance to Rohan and Gondor, respectively. Sam married Rosie Cotton, and became Mayor of the Shire. The new couple was now planning for a family of their own (which would eventually have thirteen adorable children!)
Frodo returned to an empty home. No one was there to welcome him after his long journey. Bilbo was gone to stay in Rivendell with the elves long ago. Frodo had no one to turn to for comfort, now that Sam had put his past behind him, and had grown up to be a �normal� person. Still, they did spend time together. Frodo would spend much time on his own, reading over old notes and maps in Bilbo�s study. Sam often found him asleep over these, all in a mess around him. (Of course, now that Bilbo was gone, he wouldn�t have minded the clutter)
The task had been laid upon Frodo to write a chronicle of the shared adventures of the Fellowship, and the War of the Ring in detail. As you can imagine, this weighed heavily on his mind, and Frodo pondered at length how he would ever undertake this task. The pain was still too near to his heart, and he dared not conjure up those memories again... not so soon at least.
****
One Thursday evening, as the sun was setting over the hill, Pippin and Merry arrived at Frodo�s door, banging away, and ringing, trying to get their old friend�s attention.
�He�s probably asleep,� Merry grumbled.
�How could he forget our get-together down at the Green Dragon?� Pippin questioned.
�Easily.� Merry shook his head. �That boy is always by himself these days, almost since we got back home...Becoming more like Bilbo every day.� He laughed. �I wouldn�t be surprised if he��
Just then, the door opened, and nearly hit Merry in the head. �Hey, watch it!� he cried.
Frodo looked awful. He was obviously exhausted, but from what, his two friends didn�t guess. They frowned at him, not really knowing what to say to break the tension.
Finally, Pippin spoke. �Hey, we missed you down at the Green Dragon! There�s a big shindig there tonight, and Merry and I came to see if you were still alive! Come on, you need a pint or two!� Pippin took Frodo by the arm, and dragged him out of the safety of his little hobbit hole.
As they led him down the pathway, finally the Baggins came to his senses. �Wait a minute!� he cried. Seeing a look of helplessness in their friend�s eyes, Merry and Pippin desisted for the moment. �What�s wrong, Frodo?� Merry said, concerned.
Frodo hesitated. �I was, um... going to finish the next chapter in my book tonight,� he said weakly.
Pippin rolled his eyes. �Is THAT all! Worry about that later, Frodo! Come on! You need some time with your friends.� With that, Pippin patted his friend�s shoulder and smiled. Merry gave one of his trademark grins, and shook his head, laughing. �A night out is what you need, my friend!�
****
Finally they arrived at the Green Dragon. Merry and Pippin laughed and chatted, lingering as they went, as hobbits often do. Their hearts were lightened, but Frodo�s was not. He dragged behind, not really wanting to follow.
As they neared the great doors to the pub, Frodo heard the sound of laughter and merriment inside, and it pained his heart. Such things were an uncomfortable reminder of what he had been missing for so long...and what no longer lifted his spirits. Still, Frodo decided he would endure, for a time, such busy surroundings so he could at least spend time with his old friends.
As the night went on, Pippin and Merry managed to get some conversation out of Frodo, and imagined that he was all right. Sam, on the other hand (who was also there for some of the evening), kept glancing sidelong at Frodo, wondering what was wrong; why he was so quiet...but he spoke of nothing unusual, so as not to upset his old master. Sam said goodbye earlier than the rest of them; he had to get home to Rosie before he got in trouble.
People came and went, unnoticed by the four friends, until a familiar face arrived. It belonged to a young woman with dark hair (straight, not curly like other hobbits), and blue-grey eyes, and she wore a key around her neck. Frodo recognized her immediately, but said nothing.
In passing, Merry glanced towards the door, and his heart leapt into his throat. �Lily!� he was going to cry, but no sound came out as he moved his mouth.
Her eyes scanned the room, looking for something, or someone. Finally they rested on the table where her old friends were sitting. Grinning brightly, she ran towards them.
�Oh my goodness!� Lily cried, as she looked at Merry and Pippin closer up. �Well, you haven�t changed a bit, Peregrin Took!� and hugged him. Pippin smiled dumbly. Lily hesitated before she spoke to Merry. �And you, Brandybuck!� she laughed. �Stolen any fireworks lately?�
He looked sheepish. �How did you know about that?� he asked. She smiled slyly. �I have my ways and means, Merry,� she laughed and flicked his nose. He squinted.
Lily hesitated again as she looked to Frodo. He was avoiding her gaze, and she could tell. �Frodo?� she said quietly, sitting next to him. Pippin rolled his eyes and stood up to leave. �Let�s give them a moment, Merry,� he whispered. �All right, Pip,� he replied. But as he walked off, Merry couldn�t seem to take his eyes off their conversation.
****
�Frodo?� She gazed at her old friend in wonder. �Is it really you?� Lily sat next to him, and reached for his hand. A great sigh emerged from Frodo�s lips, as if a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Glancing towards her, Lily saw his blue eyes gleam in the pale lights.
�It�s been a long time, hasn�t it?� she whispered.
She waited silently for an answer, though she didn�t expect one. Suddenly Frodo took her by the hands. Without a word, he led her through the shadows and flickering lights and endless chatter of the hall, to the outside terrace. Though puzzled, she still followed him.
When they emerged from the heat and bustle, Frodo looked to the sky. The stars were out, and shining most brilliantly. They still heard the faint chatter from inside.
Surprised and pleased, Lily started to speak. �Frodo, I�m so �� but he put his hand to her lips, to stop her speech. He had a strange look on his face, and it was almost disquieting.
�What�s the matter?� she asked, fingering the key around her neck nervously.
�Nothing,� he replied absently. But in a moment, his eyes lightened, and Frodo finally smiled to her. �I am glad to see you, Lily...but after all this time �� he trailed off, for just a moment. Shaking his head, Frodo laughed to himself. �How have you been?� he asked her, trying to bring cheer to her face once again.
�That�s what I came to ask you, Frodo..� she smiled. �Rumours tell of your great journey to the South, past the borders of the Shire...and you were gone so long, we feared that you �all of you� were lost to us,� Lily sighed, holding back a deep emotion. �You finally had a real adventure, just like you wanted,� She smiled ruefully.
As if some pain had descended upon his heart, Frodo turned away, whispering, �No, not exactly.�
Lily looked sorrowful. �Somehow I guessed that... your eyes tell more than your words do, old friend. This business of adventures isn�t as wonderful as they say, is it?� Resting her hand on Frodo�s shoulder, suddenly he scowled.
�What do you know about it?� he snapped. Seeing a look of hurt in her eyes, Frodo continued, with a note of regret in his voice. �Only I know how it felt to carry that burden, Lily; no one else can ever really understand.�
She stared at him grimly. �I know more of your adventure, your pain than you give me credit for,� she started. �Granted, I know not the complete tale, though I have learned much from others of whom you know...�
Frodo glanced at her wearily.
�Do you not even guess why I have come here?� Her voice was high. �Frodo, I want to hear it from you. I want to know the whole story, from start to finish.� Her eyes were gleaming with excitement. �It was not joyful, but painful, this I know. But it must be told.�
�You do not know what you ask of me,� Frodo said quietly. �I cannot even bear to think of it myself, let alone share it with others. The pain is still too near to my heart.� He sighed.
�Why not ask Merry or Pippin? They are always glad to tell their story, and in great detail.� Frodo said half-sarcastically.
Lily frowned. �It is not their story I wish to know,� she said, shaking her head. �I love them too, as dear friends. But I know their deeds, or as many as I care to know. What matters to me is you, Frodo.�
Her dark hair blew across her face as she spoke these words, softly as the wind through the trees. In that moment, the young maiden appeared to Frodo as ancient and wise beyond reckoning. Her heart was clearly revealed. �I admit this,� she said. �Your pain is your own, but you no longer need to bear it alone. It will do you no good to carry the remnants of this burden, always weighing you down. The quest is complete. You have earned your rest.�
Still Frodo was at a loss for words. He was too weary now, to wonder how Lily seemed to know so much about him, and how he grieved. �I can�t do it,� he whispered.
At this, Lily became herself again. �I don�t believe that for one moment! Do you mean to say you�ll always live with this, this torment? That you�ll never rid yourself of the pain by letting it out? I understand you, Frodo. Better than you know.� With that, she turned and walked away down the road ahead, leaving Frodo alone.
****
For a long while Frodo sat alone, thinking (or trying not to think) of what Lily had said. Her words echoed through his mind. �This burden, always weighing you down; You have earned your rest; Rid yourself of the pain by letting it out...� Frodo stopped short. The wound of the Morgul-knife froze his shoulder, and he cried out, doubled over in pain. After the spell passed, he worried that someone had heard his cry from the inside of the hall. He walked off quickly down the road towards home, to the safety of his little hobbit hole. Inside the Green Dragon, a faint cry was heard from outside, but few paid any attention.
�What was that?� Pippin asked, looking towards the door.
Merry looked at his friend, and in a flash, they both knew that something was wrong with Frodo. Bounding through the hallway like a pair of oliphaunts, they burst out the front door to find Frodo walking off quickly down the stone path towards the road.
Frodo noticed his friends following. �Leave me,� he said perturbed.
�Not till you tell us what�s the matter, Frodo!� Merry frowned. �You�ve been acting strangely all night, and we want to know why.� A note of compassion was in his voice.
Frodo turned around, looking at his friends wearily. �I don�t know what it is,� he started. �It�s hard to explain.�
�Well it sounded like you�d just been stabbed, the way you cried out!� Pippin looked at his friend in disbelief.
Frodo winced. �I felt the wound of the Nazgul in my shoulder again,� he said furtively. �I don�t know why...it shouldn�t happen anymore, now that they, and all their magic are destroyed.� Frodo sighed, and looked vacant for a moment.
Frodo knew why the wound had flared up again. He had never admitted it, but there had always been a dull ache in his left shoulder, even after Elrond had healed him. It would flare up in pain whenever he was extremely agitated. He still did not admit this to Merry and Pippin, or even Sam.
�I can�t take this much longer,� Merry cried. �We all thought it would be so much better once we were back in the Shire... once things were back to normal. Well, as normal as they might be.� He sighed, and Frodo just stared, saying nothing.
�Things are better for us, Frodo but not for you. We know that! We see it every day. � Pippin had a pleading look� Why won�t you let go?�
Looking uncomfortable, Frodo spoke. �It�s not that easy, Pippin.� He looked at his two friends with eyes full of sorrow. �I�m glad for your happiness. But please don�t waste your time trying to amend my worries.�
Merry smiled weakly. �Maybe writing the story of the Ring is just bringing those feelings up again, Frodo. It�ll be OK when you�re all finished.� Pippin put a hand on his friend�s shoulder. �Maybe we can help him with it.� He turned to Frodo and smiled. �We�re here for you. All of us.�
There was a long silence.
�I don�t want to lie to you anymore,� Frodo mumbled, looking at his feet. �I have a confession. I have not been writing my book since we got home, back to the Shire. I haven�t even started it yet�I just can�t do it! My heart won�t let me bring it all back again.. I �� he faltered.
Merry and Pippin looked puzzled, but sympathetic, and they smiled at their old friend.
�Well that�s alright, Frodo. You don�t have to, just because Bilbo wrote a boo�� Merry stopped short.
�No, it�s not that,� Frodo answered quickly. �I just can�t bear to think of anything outside...outside the Shire... but I just can�t stop! My mind just wanders that way, unexpectedly, at any time. I feel as though I might be mad.� Wincing, his eyes shut, Frodo went on. It was clear to the others that this was very difficult for him.
�It lends me no peace, being here. I am alone. Yes, alone. I know what you would say�that you would all help me, support me, any way you can. But it�s not that easy. Not this time. I am wearied by going home to an empty house. I miss Bilbo. I miss the Fellowship. I miss Lil�� Frodo stopped short. His heart fluttered.
Merry and Pippin looked at their old friend silently. In that moment, Frodo seemed much older than them, much older than a year before. They saw a great weariness behind his bright blue eyes, reflecting long years of wisdom and sorrow. But what they did not know, was that one memory Frodo carried lightened his heart, so he was able to bear the grief for so long.
Frodo walked off silently down the road, leaving his friends behind. They stared long, saying nothing about whether they should follow. Frodo knew where he was going.
****
Frodo caught up with Lily on the path home, but hesitated for a moment before approaching her. He hardly knew how he would say it to her, what his heart was telling him. But soon determination and new strength came over him.
He walked behind Lily, and put a hand on her shoulder. Startled and disturbed, she turned around. Seeing Frodo�s glistening eyes, her heart softened, and her expression quickly melted into sympathy.
�I�m sorry� she said suddenly, taking his hand. �I didn�t mean what I said before, about Bilbo�� her eyes were pleading. �Please forgive me.�
Frodo smiled slightly. �I didn�t follow you to get an apology. I wanted to say that you�re right� you�re right about everything, Lily, about the pain I�m holding inside myself.� He shuddered. �I want to let it go, but I can�t do it�not alone.� He took her other hand, smiling pitifully. �I need you.�
Lily�s heart skipped a beat. She hardly what to say to him.
Lingering in the moment that she had longed for, for so many years, somehow everything did not feel right. He loves me, she thought. So why don�t I know what to say? Why does my heart hesitate?
Frodo gazed deeply into her eyes, waiting for her to say something, anything.
�I�ve waited to hear you say that for so long,� she whispered, returning his gaze. �but somehow this all feels wrong, Frodo. I don�t know if I can be what you need�I don�t know if this can work.. I don�t even know you anymore.� Lily shrank away from him, unable to withstand his eyes any longer.
Suddenly, Frodo seized her hand, and pulled her into a close embrace, and kissed her.
Entranced and dazed, her knees weakened. She looked up to him, her mind a complete blank.
�I need your strength, Lily. Mine is all but spent, from the long journey, all the fear has wearied my soul down to its last ember. I shall soon be spent.� His eyes were distant for a moment. �That is, if I don�t have you. Please Lily. It�s so hard for me to say this...but I don't want your sympathy...�
Her face went red.
�...I need your love.� Grasping each other's hand, the two old friends knew that they could no longer go back to how things were before. Thier two hearts were now one.
"I love you, Frodo." she sighed.
****
Part 4 soon, I promise!