I found the following scriptures regarding divorce and remarriage:

"For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh, Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" (Matthew 19:4-6).

"Unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife" (1 Corinthians 7:10-11).

"Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery" (Matthew 19:9).

"Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery" (Luke 16:18).

"If a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery" (Mark 10:12).

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2nd Marriage Adultery

I believe an invalid 2nd marriage isn't just a one-time sin that we can tell Jesus we're sorry about and then continue in the 2nd marriage, for it ordinarily involves continued sexual relations between two people one or both of whom may actually still be married in God's eyes to somebody else, making the 2nd marriage an ongoing adulterous affair.

The reason I believe it's so important to determine whether a 2nd marriage is adultery or not is because I believe adultery, as every other sin, cannot be continued in if we are going to be saved (Galatians 5:19-21; Hebrews 10:26-27), no matter how many good works we also do (Matthew 7:21-23), and no matter our opinion of scriptures which may appear to us to be too harsh (Mark 8:38).

There's a false peace Christians can have while still in sin (Proverbs 14:12) because so many fellow Christians, even their pastors, are telling them it's okay to continue in it (compare Jeremiah 6:14-15, 23:14, 9:2-3).

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Adulterous 1st Marriages

If a man has married a 1st wife that was already divorced from a valid husband, I believe his marriage to her is an adulterous affair:

"Whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery" (Luke 16:18).

"If a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery" (Mark 10:12).

Therefore I believe he would be free to divorce and remarry validly for the 1st time.

If a woman has married a 1st husband that was already divorced from a valid wife, I believe that unless he divorced his 1st wife on account of fornication, or his wife divorced him, her marriage to him is an adulterous affair (Matthew 19:9). Therefore I believe she would be free to divorce him and remarry validly for the 1st time.

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Till Death Do Us Part

Some believe divorce ends a marriage. But see Jeremiah 3:8, 14. I believe a man remains married to a woman in God's eyes until one of them dies, regardless of the legal status of their marriage. This is why remarriage of a divorced woman while her first husband is alive is adultery: "Whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery" (Luke 16:18). "If a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery." (Mark 10:12)

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What About Grace?

It's true we're saved only by Christ's blood and grace, but note what we Christians can do to Christ's blood and grace: "If we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins, but a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries. He that despised Moses' law died without mercy under two or three witnesses: Of how much sorer punishment, suppose ye, shall he be thought worthy, who hath trodden under foot the Son of God, and hath counted the blood of the covenant, wherewith he was sanctified, an unholy thing, and hath done despite unto the Spirit of grace?" (Hebrews 10:26-29)

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Reconciliation

I believe if a woman has had a valid marriage at one time, but is now in an invalid 2nd marriage, repentance from adultery would require she divorce the invalid 2nd husband, and be reconciled to her valid husband or remain single (1 Corinthians 7:11).

Some argue that breaking the 2nd marriage "is like trying to make two wrongs equal a right," but if the 1st marriage was valid, and the 2nd invalid, then breaking the 2nd is right, for it's an adulterous affair. This is true even if there were children by the 2nd marriage, as people can have children even by adulterous affairs.

Sometimes Christ's truth can bring the upsetting and even the breaking up of families instead of producing peace in them, and we must be willing to bear that if we are to be saved (Matthew 10:34-39).

Some say Deuteronomy 24:1-4 forbids a woman in a 2nd marriage to return to her 1st husband. But Jesus' commands regarding marriage are different than the Mosaic law. "The law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ" (John 1:17). "Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery" (Matthew 19:8-9; compare 1 Corinthians 7:11; Matthew 5:31-32).

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Abusive Situations

I believe a woman can physically separate herself from an abusive husband to avoid harm, but that she can't divorce or remarry without her 2nd marriage being an adulterous affair (Mark 10:12).

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Celibacy Is Possible

When Jesus told his disciples the hard truth regarding divorce and remarriage in Matthew 19:9, their reaction may be our own: "It is not good to marry" (Matthew 19:10). Jesus answers them by saying that whoever can accept not being married, should accept it: "There be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it" (Matthew 19:12).

Therefore, I believe that anyone who has never been married, or anyone who is married to someone who can't ever have sexual relations again due to sickness or injury, or anyone who is stuck in a difficult marriage situation where they can neither continue in an adulterous 2nd marriage nor at this time be reconciled to their 1st valid spouse, can live through it by praying and asking for celibacy, remembering that "Ye have not, because ye ask not" (James 4:2).

Regarding being single, Paul describes the blessing of it: "Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife... I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction" (1 Corinthians 7:27, 32-35).

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Not A Christian When Got Married / Divorced

Does the Bible say marriage is invalid for unbelievers?

Does the Bible say divorce is okay for unbelievers?

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Sued For Divorce By An Unbeliever

I believe 1 Corinthians 7:15 is saying that if an unbelieving spouse sues a believing spouse for divorce, the believing spouse shouldn't fight it. In this case the divorce itself would not be a sin for the believer because they aren't the one who initiated it (contrast 1 Corinthians 7:10-11). But I don't believe this means a believing divorced wife can then remarry without her and her 2nd husband committing adultery (Matthew 19:9; Luke 16:18).

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Remain In What We're Called?

Some point out Paul's command "as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk." I personally believe that 1 Corinthians 7:15-24 relates only to non-sin situations, that Paul means after we've become saved we should not fret if we cannot become reconciled to and save the unbelieving spouse, or if we've been circumcised already, or entered servitude already. I don't believe it means that after we're saved we are to remain in a sinful situation, such as an adulterous 2nd marriage.

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Isn't Just Looking Adultery?

According to Matthew 5:28, even to look on a woman in lust is to commit adultery, so if someone continues their ogling day after day they are in continuing adultery. For this reason we should all make a covenant with our eyes not to look on others with lust (Job 31:1-3; 1 John 2:16-17).

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Is Engagement The Same As Marriage?

Note that Joseph had not "taken" Mary unto him, and this "taking" was different than "knowing" her (Matthew 1:24-25), so that even in Bible times there was still a difference between getting engaged and actually getting married.

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Your First Marriage, Her Second Marriage

I believe that if you are married to a woman who has been married before, whether or not your marriage to her is valid in God's eyes depends upon the validity in God's eyes of her first marriage.

And the validity in God's eyes of her first marriage depends upon the validity in God's eyes of any marriage of her first husband before he married her.

Had your wife's first husband been married before he married her? If he hadn't, I don't see any reason why her first marriage to him would not still be valid in God's eyes, which would make her second marriage to you an adulterous affair, for "whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery" (Luke 16:18); and "if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery" (Mark 10:12). In this case, I believe you would be free to divorce and remarry validly for the first time.

If your wife's first husband had been married before he married her, did he divorce his first wife due to fornication? If he did divorce his first wife due to fornication and then married your wife, I don't see any reason why your wife's first marriage to him would not still be valid in God's eyes, which would again make her second marriage to you an adulterous affair. In this case, I believe you would again be free to divorce and remarry validly for the first time.

If your wife's first husband had been married before he married her, but didn't divorce his first wife due to fornication, but divorced his first wife for some other reason, and then married your wife, then his marriage to your wife would have been an adulterous affair, for "whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery" (Matthew 19:9). In this case, I don't see any reason why her marriage to you would not be valid in God's eyes, so that you would not be free to divorce and remarry, except for fornication on your wife's part.

If your wife's first husband had been married before he married her, and it was his former wife who had been the one who divorced him, then while he is still married to her in God's eyes, there is no verse which would have forbidden him from marrying your wife. I believe Matthew 19:9's proscription of putting away one's wife wouldn't apply to him because he wasn't the one who broke the marriage. In this case, I don't see any reason why your wife's first marriage to him would not still be valid in God's eyes, which would make her second marriage to you an adulterous affair. In this case, I believe you would be free to divorce and remarry validly for the first time.

If your marriage to your wife is valid in God's eyes, and she sues you for divorce and wins, then while you will be still married to her in God's eyes, there is no verse which would forbid you from marrying someone else. I believe Matthew 19:9's proscription of putting away one's wife wouldn't apply to you because you weren't the one who broke the marriage. But if you do remarry, then you can't be a bishop or deacon, because then you would in God's eyes have two wives, and a bishop or deacon must be "the husband of one wife" (1 Timothy 3:2, 12).

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Fornication Exception For Men Only?

I believe that the fornication exception allowing divorce and remarriage in Matthew 19:9 and Matthew 5:32 applies only to men, for note that it doesn't say "whosoever shall put away her husband."

Note that there is no verse which allows a woman to divorce her husband for any reason, or remarry while her husband is still alive.

Some say that by that logic Jesus didn't make the apostles fishers of women. But note that in Matthew 4:19 (I will make you fishers of men), the Greek word translated "men" is anthropos, which Strong's Greek Dictionary defines as "a human being" (#444), whether male or female, while in Matthew 19:9 and Matthew 5:32 the Greek word translated "wife" is gune, which Strong's Greek Dictionary defines as "a woman, spec. a wife" (#1135).

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Multiple Wives Okay But Not Multiple Husbands?

I believe if a man's wife was valid and he didn't divorce her, but she was the one who sued him for divorce and won, then while he is still married to her in God's eyes, there is no verse which would forbid him from marrying someone else. I believe Matthew 19:9's proscription of putting away one's wife doesn't apply to him because he wasn't the one who broke the marriage. But if he does remarry, then he can't be a bishop or deacon, because then he would in God's eyes have two wives, and a bishop or deacon must be "the husband of one wife" (1 Timothy 3:2, 12).

Some may then ask "Okay, then why can't a woman whose husband divorced her get remarried?" Because, unlike in the case of a man whose wife divorced him, there are verses which forbid a woman whose husband divorced her from getting remarried: "Whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery" (Luke 16:18); "Whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery" (Matthew 19:9).

Some may then ask "Why the double standard?" It may be for the same reasons Paul gives for the double standards in other matters, such as women being forbidden to have any authority over a man (1 Timothy 2:12), or to speak or teach in church at all (1 Corinthians 14:34, 1 Timothy 2:12), except by prophetic utterance (Acts 21:9), or to pray without wearing a head covering (1 Corinthians 11:4-9).

"Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression" (1 Timothy 2:12-14).

"Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church. What? came the word of God out from you? or came it unto you only? If any man think himself to be a prophet, or spiritual, let him acknowledge that the things that I write unto you are the commandments of the Lord" (1 Corinthians 14:34-37).

"Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head. But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven. For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered. For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man" (1 Corinthians 11:4-9).

Some say a husband can�t be the husband of more than one wife without violating the "two will become one flesh" rule of marriage (Matthew 19:5). But the relationship of husband and wife is the same as that of Jesus and the church, and Jesus is the husband of more than one person at the same time insofar as the church is made of up more than one person: "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church... Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing... So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies... For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church" (Ephesians 5:23-32).

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God and Israel

Some have asked "Did God sin or have a hard heart in divorcing Israel? (Jeremiah 3:8)" No. Jesus said "Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery" (Matthew 19:8-9). So one can divorce his wife for fornication without sinning or having a hard heart, as God did with Israel (Jeremiah 3:8). But note what God says to Israel even after divorcing her: "Turn, O backsliding children, saith the LORD; for I am married unto you" (Jeremiah 3:14), and note what Israel says: "I will go and return to my first husband" (Hosea 2:7).

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Deuteronomy 24

What does Jesus say about the Mosaic law regarding divorce in Matthew 19:8-9?

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Abraham & Hagar

Was Abraham married to Hagar?

What was the reason God gave for Abraham to cast out Hagar (Genesis 21:10)?

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Judges 14:20

Does the Bible say what was done in Judges 14:20 was right?

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Ezra 10

Does the New Testament say that a Christian can divorce an unbeliever simply because they are an unbeliever?

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Too Complex?

Sometimes to truly know if something is good or evil we must move beyond easily digestible truth: "For every one that useth milk is unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe. But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil" (Hebrews 5:13-14).

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Judging

Some say I'm "judging others" when I say I believe an invalid 2nd marriage is an adulterous affair, but are they judging me for judging others (Romans 2:1)? Do they believe that each of us can continue in our sins and no fellow Christian can ever warn us from the scriptures against continuing in them? How do they understand verses such as Hebrews 10:25-26, James 5:19-20, and 1 Corinthians 5:11-13?

Some may think I'm "laying burdens" on people, but could it be that God's word itself has wrongly become a burden to some (1 John 5:3, Jeremiah 6:10, Isaiah 30:10)? How do they understand 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, Mark 10:12, Luke 16:18, and Matthew 19:9?

Some say I'm "casting stones" at people, but didn't Jesus tell the woman caught in adultery to "go and sin no more" (John 8:11)? Was this casting a stone? I believe we actually do more harm to someone in sin by not saying anything than by warning them not to continue in it: "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful" (Proverbs 27:6); "He that rebuketh a man afterwards shall find more favour than he that flattereth with the tongue" (Proverbs 28:23).

Some say I'm "hateful" for sharing what I believe the scriptures teach. Will they quote where they believe I've spoken with hatred so that I can see what hatred looks like to them to prevent it in the future? I believe we actually show less love to someone in sin by not saying anything than by warning them not to continue in it (Proverbs 27:6, 28:23). Is it possible that God's word itself has come to appear hateful? "Behold, the word of the LORD is unto them a reproach; they have no delight in it" (Jeremiah 6:10); "Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables" (2 Timothy 4:2-4); "Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels" (Mark 8:38).

Some say I should "talk about my own sins first," but aren't they simply going after the messenger (ad hominem) instead of showing from the scriptures why the message itself is wrong?

In all of this, I don't think myself any better than anyone else nor do I bear anyone any ill will, and pray that any I've offended may eventually realize that (Proverbs 28:23).