Things to do when you're bored at Wal-Mart

1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they don't realize it.

2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to the
rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone,
"I think we've got a Code 3 in house wares," and see what happens.

5. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all
off and turn the volumes to "10."

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Put M&M's on layaway.

8. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

9. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others
you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

10. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't
you people just leave me alone?"

11. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a
mirror while you pick your nose.

12. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full
scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

13. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

14. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly
ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

15. Switch the men and women's signs on the doors of the rest rooms.

16. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission
Impossible."

17. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

18. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various
funnels.

19. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things
like "pick me! pick me!!"

20. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume
the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices
again!"

21. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain
that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in
it.

And last, but not least...

22. Go into the dressing room and yell real loud..."Hey, we're out of
toilet paper in here!"