| > HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT A WOMAN AND
BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: > > She is not a BABE or a CHICK; She is a BREASTED PERSON. > She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER; She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE. > She is not EASY; She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE. > She is not DUMB; She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY. > She has not BEEN AROUND; She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION. > She is not an AIRHEAD; She is REALITY IMPAIRED. > She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY; She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED. > She is not HORNY; She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED. > She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS; She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED. > She does not NAG YOU; She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE. > She is not a SLUT; She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED. > She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS; She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR. > She is not a TWO BIT WHORE; She is a LOW COST PROVIDER. > > HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT A MAN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: > > He does not have a BEER GUT; He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE >FACILITY. > He is not a BAD DANCER; He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN. > He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME; He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE >DESTINATIONS. > He is not BALDING; He is IN FOLLICLE REGRESSION. > He is not a CRADLE ROBBER; He prefers GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL >RELATIONSHIPS. > He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK; He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL. > He does not act like a TOTAL ASS; He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL >INVERSION. > He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG; He has SWINE EMPATHY. > He is not AFRAID OF COMMITMENT; He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED. > |