>Lessons learned#1
> >>A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when
> >>he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a
> >>piece of paper in his hand.
> >>
> >>"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and
> >>important document, and my secretary has left. Can you
> >>make this thing work?"
> >>
> >>"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the
> >>machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start
> >>button.
> >>
> >>"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper
> >>disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
> >>
> >>Lesson learnt: - Never, never assume that your BOSS
> >>knows everything.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>#2
> >>A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the
> >>teller at the window: "I want to open a damn checking
> >>account." To which the astonished woman replies: "I
> >>beg your pardon, sir; I must have misunderstood you.
> >>
> >>What did you say?"
> >>"Listen up bitch! I said, I want to open a damn
> >>checking account right now!"
> >>"I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind
> >>of language in this bank."
> >>Having said this, the teller leaves the window and goes
> >>over to the bank manager to tell him about her problem
> >>customer. They both return and the manager asks the
> >>old geezer, "What seems to be the problem here?"
> >>"There's no damn problem, sonny," the elderly man says.
> >>"I just won 50 million bucks in the damn lottery and I
> >>want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!"
> >>"I see," says the manager thoughtfully.
> >>"And you're saying that this bitch here is giving you a
> >>hard time?"
> >>
> >>Lesson Learnt - If you are RICH, you can get away with
> >>almost anything.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>#3
> >>An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on
> >>the way to LA when the American turned to the Japanese
> >>and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?"
> >>The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't
> >>understand what you mean."
> >>The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you ?"
> >>Again, the Japanese was confused over the question.
> >>The American, now irritated, then yell, "What kind of
> >>-ese are you...Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese,
> >>etc......"
> >>The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese."
> >>
> >>A while later the Japanese turned to the American and
> >>asked what kind of -key' was he.
> >>The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean
> >>what kind of '-key'am I ?!"
> >>The Japanese said, "Are you a monkey, donkey or a
> >>Yankee?"
> >>
> >>Lesson : Never insult anyone.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>#4
> >>There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an
> >>American and a French, who found this small genie
> >>bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appears.
> >>Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the
> >>bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools,
> >>I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards
> >>the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of
> >>water to become, then your wish will come true."
> >>
> >>The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool,
> >>jumped and shouted "WINE".
> >>The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. the
> >>Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the
> >>pool.
> >>
> >>Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted,
> >>"VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.
> >>
> >>The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER".
> >>He was so contented with his beer pool.
> >>
> >>The last is the American. He was running towards the
> >>pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel.
> >>He slipped towards the pool and shouted,
> >>"SHIT!!!!!!!............."
> >>
> >>Lesson: Think twice before you say something, becasue
> >>sometimes accidents do happen.
>