>Great lines from job evaluations:
>
>1. I would not allow this employee to breed.
>
>2. This associate is really not so much of a 
has-been, but 
>more definitely a won't be.
>
>3. Works well when under constant supervision 
and cornered 
>like a rat in a trap.
>
>4. When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only 
to change 
>whichever foot was previously there.
>
>5. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot 
puddle.
>
>6. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
>
>7. He sets low personal standards and then 
consistently fails 
>to achieve them.
>
>8. This employee is depriving a village 
somewhere of an 
>idiot.
>
>9. This employee should go far and the sooner he 
starts, the 
>better.
>
>10. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
>
>11. Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard 
wasn't 
>watching.
>
>12. A room temperature IQ.
>
>13. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic 
thingy to hold 
>it together.
>
>14. A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an 
ordinary 
>ignoramus.
>
>15. A photographic memory but with the lens 
cover glued on.
>
>16. A prime candidate for natural deselection.
>
>17. Bright as Alaska in December.
>
>18. One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ 
tests.
>
>19. Donated his brain to science before he was 
done using it.
>
>20. Fell out of the family tree.
>
>21. Gates are down, lights are flashing, but the 
train isn't 
>coming.
>
>22. Has two brains: one is lost; the other is 
out looking for 
>it.
>
>23. He's so dense, light bends around him.
>
>24. If brains were taxed, she'd get a refund.
>
>25. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be 
watered twice 
>a week.
>
>26. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, 
you'll get 
>change.
>
>27. If you stand close enough to him, you can 
hear the ocean.
>
>28. It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 
other sperm.
>
>29. One neuron short of a synapse.
>
>30. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, 
he only 
>gargled.
>
>31. Takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 
Minutes.
>
>32. Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
>
>33. Since my last report, this employee has 
reached rock 
>bottom and has started to dig.
>
>34. His men would follow him anywhere, but only 
out of morbid 
>curiosity.
>
>Quick Wit:
>
>A woman awoke excitedly on Valentine's Day and 
announced 
>enthusiastically to her husband, "I just dreamed 
that you 
>gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day! 
What do you 
>think it means?" 
>
>With certainty in his voice, the man said, 
"You'll know 
>tonight." That evening the man came home with a 
small package 
>and handed it to his wife. 
>
>With anxious anticipation the woman quickly 
opened the 
>package to find a book entitled - "The Meaning 
of
>Dreams".