The King’s Revelation
Andrew Cutter

Engaging.  Fun.  Absurd.  Coquetry has been a natural and essential part of human procreation since the dawn of civilization.  Our large brain, with its superior intelligence and complex language skills is the equivalent to the peacock’s tail in the courtship process.  Over the millennia, our brain has developed a method of attracting and retaining sexual partners.  This process has evolved into a complicated set of subtle body language clues and double entendres: a bending of the eyebrow, a slip of the hand, even a twitch of the nose may be interpreted by the opposite sex in a number of different ways.  For this reason, the intricate dance that is flirtation cannot be entered into light heartedly.  Only the most courageous of the species should attempt it.  Admittedly, when it comes to the opposite sex, we all have to be courageous.
The first thing to know is when to attempt this bit of dalliance.  Engaging a passing stranger on the street is not recommended.   However, striking up a conversation with someone in line next to you at a concession stand or a person sitting next to you on a bus is acceptable.  The best way to gain the confidence of another is by having an “in.”  Whether this be as an acquaintance from some previous function or the friend of a friend of a friend, someone with previous knowledge of your existence is more likely to be open to your advances.
But how does one make that first move?  The most appropriate way is a verbal introduction.  One can be more formal: “Good evening, my name is _________, it is nice to meet you.”  Or, alternatively, a more casual tone of voice can be used: “Hi!  How’s it going?  I’m _________.”  However, both of these situations can be awkward and reveal your intentions too soon, so one may wish to attempt casual conversation without introduction.  Common themes like the high cost of a commodity or the atmosphere of your surroundings are the best topics to choose when trying to get a relationship on track.
Once you have engaged the other person, amorous play will come more naturally.  Feel free to move beyond the original conversation topic but within certain limits.  Negative comments about other people or even yourself should be avoided like avian flu.  Compliments should be withheld until later when you feel more comfortable together.  The same can be said about sexual innuendo.  As much as you might like to bring up flogging the dolphin or meeting her father, such topics are best left until a degree of amicability has been achieved.  A direct discussion about the sexual act is another red herring in the early flirting scene.  Discuss school, future life plans, work, or travelling you may have done or will do in the future.  Avoid gloating about how great you are, but rather, behave as you are and let her decide for herself your level of greatness.  Humour is a must from the start of your conversation as well.  Nothing very witty is necessary and all jokes should remain positive.  Humour will break the anxiety in a first encounter and make both you and your target feel more relaxed.  This can lead to the development of a relationship much faster.  Conversation is a great opener but as you shall learn, it’s only a small part of the coquetry process.
Body language.  The expression “A picture is worth a thousand words” works for social situations as well.  Your appearance, eyes, distance, posture, gestures, and facial expressions can say much more than your words ever will.
Of these, eye contact is the most powerful.  Flirting can be initiated through simple eye contact.  Such non-verbal signals are useful at noisy social functions like parties.  From across a crowded room, you can signal your interest in someone by making eye contact and attempting to hold your target’s gaze for a second.  If she returns your gaze, she may be interested in you.  If she looks away for a couple of seconds and then returns her gaze to you, you can assume she wants to talk to you.  If she returns your gaze with a smile you can approach her with some confidence.  When involved in a conversation eye contact is all the more important.  One should not stare into her eyes for prolonged periods of time nor should one stare away.  Brief glances are the key.  Trying to increase intimacy through too much eye contact will ultimately lead to an opposite, more threatening effect and a resultant quick retreat by your target.
Personal distance can also make or break a flirtation session.  Conversations can usually be started at a couple arm lengths away.  If all goes well, you can move into a single arm length’s distance.  However, any closer and you risk entering the person’s intimate space and this will make them uncomfortable.  This space is reserved for very close friends and should be treated as such.
While communicating with your flirtee, maintain an open stance.  Do not fold your arms and avoid leaning or turning your body away from the other person.  Also, be a good listener.  This doesn’t just mean shutting up; it includes giving both verbal and non-verbal responses to show that you are taking an interest in what she is saying.  As well, a quick summation of what she has said followed up with encouragement to continue is useful.  “So you ran into the brick wall and broke your nose?!  My goodness!  Then what happened?”  Asking open questions is also important.  Questions demanding a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer will lead nowhere.  Most importantly, it is essential that you give all of your attention, both facially and bodily to the one with whom you are trying to communicate.
It is also important to display a sense of confidence.  This can be expressed through outward hand gestures and steady flowing speech.  However, it is important not to appear too cocky or self-obsessed: both of which are definite turn-offs.  Distracting and repulsive personal hygiene activities such as nose picking and digging at your ears must be avoided at all costs.  Such habits may go unnoticed by yourself and should be discovered and routed out immediately, no matter what social situation you are in.
Touching can be the extra push to flirtation that determines the outcome of an encounter.  Touches should be reserved to the arm and nowhere else.  While shoulder touching or a pat on the back may seem innocuous, they are often interpreted as patronizing and should not be used.
Finally, tone of voice.  It is important to remain sincere in what you say.  Don’t compliment her more than you mean and don’t lie about yourself.  A careful balance of formal and casual language is also important.  One can be too formal, calling a woman “pulchritudinous,” or too casual, referring to her as “groin-grabbingly good.”  Both of these terms can be exchanged for “beautiful.”  Avoid reproachful words that could be placed under the category of ‘swears.’  It is also very important to avoid sneers; don’t degrade others.  You must focus on the product you are selling rather than putting down the products you think she should not buy in to.
It may seem like a lot to remember but much of it will occur instinctually.  One goal of flirtation is to become so good that you won’t even notice when you’re doing it.  The coquetry process will become a natural part of your every day interactions with the opposite sex.  One can never downplay the importance of practice.  Only through practice will you bring out your natural flirt as well as develop the extra tools that will bring you that notch above other men in the relationship scene.
Of course, the ultimate goal of flirtation is that activity that is the breeding of the germ of sociality; the fulfillment of the desire for union, wholeness, and completion; the act of procreation that leads to the continuation of the species and thus immortality.  In short: sex.  The end of a just-for-fun flirting session can be brought about with a simple good bye; however, the man who wishes for the relationship to go further must pluck up some more courage.   A request for her phone number or for another meeting is the only solution.  But that’s where my advice ends.  After the start of a relationship, flirting turns into romancing, lust into love.  At that point, the only people to have experienced what you experience together are yourselves.  No persons before you have had the same relationship.  It will burn in your soul, ache in your flesh, and ignite your nerves.  There isn’t anyone who can tell you how you should behave when that happens.