BECAUSE TUNA SANDWICHES ARE GOOD

Tuna sandwiches are the greatest invention ever to come into this world. First discovered by Thomas Beavernoodle, the tuna sandwich was made quite by accident.

Beavernoodle was sitting down to his usual mayonnaise and wonderbread sandwich (this was after wonderbread had been invented but before hostess), when his dog Punky Brewster (strangely before the show was even dreamt of) distracted him.  Punky was struggling to dig through a hole in their neighbor's fence, pushing up the dirt with his nose and barking and howling.  Meanwhile, the neighbor, whose yard Punky was trying desperately to permeate, had long loathed the Beavernoodles, partially because of their dog and partially because of their lame ass name, had been scattering bits of tuna- which was believed to be toxic when combined with mayonnaise- in Beavernoodle's sandwich, mixing it in with the thick layer of white goop.  When Beavernoodle returned, dog in tow, he sat down and took a gargantuan bite from his 'mayonaise sandwich.'  Now as we all know, mayonnaise and tuna is only toxic if left outside of a refrigerator for an extended period of time.  The neighbor was not so brilliant and thought the combo spurred black sorcery in the bowels.  Thus the neighbor used canned tuna (yes, Chicken of the Sea was around at the time, but a much smaller corporation) and Beavernoodle found the surprise quite pleasant indeed.  However, he couldn't figure out where the tuna had come from and spent the rest of his life making mayo sandwiches leaving them out for about 20 minutes and then eating them- only to find wonder bread + mayonnaise does not = tuna.

It was not until 146 years later that a young chef by the name of Claude Clemonte Charisella was looking for a special for his well known restaurant VouleVouz that he concocted the tuna sandwich in a fit of passion and brilliance.  Tuna sandwiches are great, especially if you aren't a vegetarian, like me.  They're also great if you like mayonnaise, which I don't particularly enjoy either. 

BUT STILL, I STAND STRONG.  TUNA SANDWICHES ARE THE BEST THINGS EVER

Natha86793: cus theyre good.  THE END

-Lindsey Morrone