In Response to: The Fact That Tom Kruller Responds to Everything!

First off: you left me out of the staff photo! With that aside, let's address the real issue at hand: Tom's latent homosexual urges. Why doesn't he just fish or cut bait, man? I thought he was going to finally kiss Nate ages ago! I guess some people (or "teases," as I like to call them) still haven't heard of following through on romantic endeavors. I set him up for it perfectly, too! Let's look at this, ok?

1. I was the one who wrote that letter to Nate signed Tom, because I knew Tom wouldn't have the guts to do it.

2. I was the one who suggested to Tom that he go sing to Nate the next time Nate had his nightly  balcony reverie - not to mention the fact that I was hiding in a nearby bush DOING ALL OF THE ACTUAL SINGING! I know I told Tom I wouldn't mind, but I mind now that he still hasn't closed the deal. And let's not forget

3. Tom wanted to sing, fucking, "Wave of Mutilation," and I had to argue for (seriously) DAYS with him that there were more romantic songs he could sing, albeit, probably less delightfully esoteric.

Now that I've got to thinking, I guess his urges are more blatant than latent.

Anyway. I talked to Nate about it and, I'll tell you, he was surprised too! He was like, "I leaned in for the kiss when Tom took me to see Cold Creek Manor (which totally rocked, p.s.), but instead he gives me this pat on the arm. A real you're-a-good-sport-type pat. What is this, the goddamned 50s? Show a little more of the Tom I'd like to see!" He then went on to tell me about his favorite parts of Cold Creek Manor.

In conclusion, I left a note from Tom on Nate's doorstep inviting him to dinner, and a note from Nate on Tom's doorstep inviting him to the same dinner. I'm sure they'll find that passion will win this cold war of love. This cold war of very gay love.

And, don't get me wrong, Kingdom Hearts was probably one of the best games to come out in the past five years. In fact, it's probably the best game out for Playstation 2, with the exception of the completely unnecessary "gummi ship" section. That part was about as lame as Tom's lip-synching to "Here Comes Your Man."

Mike Huguenor