Oh, psshaw!

She asked "Aren't you worried about mad-cow disease?" When I finished chewing my Big Texas BBQ burger I replied, "No, for the same reason I don't play the lottery. There's a one in a million chance that it'll happen to me."

Now as I sit on the toilet, ridding myself of this disagreeable food I've eaten, I'm still not worried. Why worry about tender, succulent, juicy, cow meat, when that blow fish crap kills 70 to 100 people guaranteed. And that stuff is legal!

Anyway, red meat is nice.

(EDITORS NOTE: I FULLY AGREE WITH EVERY SENTENCE IN THIS ARTICLE.)