Here's an IM conversation I had with the REAL Gandhi, via the ethereal plane.  Or some shit like that.

inotus: hey babe.
gandhi0789: 'sup
inotus: so... whatcha up to, mohatma?
gandhi0789: not much. fuckin napoleon wouldn't let me use the comp forEVER.
inotus: serious?
gandhi0789: yeah, totally. he has some girlfriend up in canada, it's totally lame.
inotus: hehe
gandhi0789: yeah, and so he's always on there uploading pics onto his photobucket, or IMing her. me and Henry Ford are always like, WTF? we gotta check our stocks!
inotus: how are your stocks doing, by the way?
gandhi0789: eh, they're okay. my broker keeps tellin me to "stay the course, shit's going to get better," but whatev
inotus: so, i wanted to talk to you about something
gandhi0789: yeah, what is it cuddles?
inotus: well, it's just i don't think i can really do this long distance thing anymore.
gandhi0789: oh.
inotus: it's not you, you're really sweet it's just, i never see you at all.
gandhi0789: i upload pics that i took on bonaparte's cam all the time
inotus: but i just don't think that's really enough
for me.
gandhi0789: it's Marc Antony, isn't it?
inotus: what?
gandhi0789: you know very well what! you've been seeing him behind my back, haven't you!
inotus: you're just making accusations because you're angry
gandhi0789: tell me the truth!
inotus: and so what if i have been seeing Marc? Maybe he treats me like a lady!
gandhi0789: oh, so it's TRUE! so the liberator of the Indian nation from the British Empire wasn't good
enough for you!
inotus: you just... move so fast, i don't think i'm ready for your kind of commitment
gandhi0789: yeah, sure, you'd rather just go sleeping
around with every Roman general who ever fucked Cleopatra, wouldn't you?
inotus: dude, leave her out of this, that is not cool!
gandhi0789: i'm sorry, it's just i need to
inotus: what?
gandhi0789: i need to have this, it's just been so good to be with you i love your blog, i don't even care if transformers are stupid and i love your radio
show, i don't even care that the music is unbearable, and it's on wednesday mornings on 103.3fm, which i hardly even get i just listen to hear your voice.
inotus: i'm sorry but it has to be this way. i'm with
Marc Antony now
gandhi0789: well, tell him he's a lucky man.
inotus: is that all?
gandhi0789: one more thing
inotus: yes?
gandhi0789: do you know rachelle's IM screename?
inotus: oh god!
gandhi0789: what? i just wanted to see how she's doing!

p.s. did you notice the cheap plug for my radio show? 9am-noon on wednesdays, 103.3fm KSCU! i'm a whore for attention!... and also for money.