WHAT I THINK ABOUT- it's back and it has scissors for hands.
I love Edward Scissorhands- And NO we aren't getting married or kissing in a tree. God, why don't you grow up a little? But truly this movie always makes me a little weepy at the end and I've seen it many a time. In fact it's on right now.
There's a few things that always kind of get me thinking:
The part with the peas- Oh my god. It's like what do you do? Eddie's struggling to get the slippery bastards in his mouth. But say you were sitting at the table, forking your own food and watching Eddie pathetically lift a single pea at a time with his blades, without ever making it into his mouth. Would you honestly just stand by and watch him; it would be torture for you both. But at the same time, it's emasculating to feed a grown man like a baby. Wouldn't want to embarrass the poor guy he's been through enough already. But no really- what's proper etiquette if you're in that situation? Dear Miss Manners...
And if Eddie does eat food.then what the hell was he eating and drinking in the dungeon on the hill after The Inventor died? Grocery delivery? Doubtful. Where would he get the money to pay for it??
Also, I hate to say it, but when they have the flashbacks of the cookie-making machines in Eddie's inventor's castle, Tim Burton isn't fooling anyone. The machines are just so obviously not making the cookies. I mean they're on that conveyor belt and the flip flopping cookie cutters are just not really even hitting the dough properly. Plus it takes longer than like ten seconds to bake cookies, which is the amount of time they spend on the conveyor belt under the oven-gizmo. Unless it's a special super sonic oven invention.
I've lost sleep over these next 2 questions: What exactly happens with Eddie and that tacky, horny red-headed woman next door when there in that backroom of the salon? It's a little ambiguous. It's also a little ambiguous as to what kind of equipment- if ya know what I mean- Eddie has down there.
Winona Ryder as a blonde. STUH-RANGE. I read somewhere she's naturally dirty blonde. I think she's best as a brunette myself. Also, she wears yellow the entire time except in the dramatic climax Christmas Day, where she wears a white dress. Tim was definitely shooting for some symbolism- like innocence- OH YES HE WAS. That and with the suburban houses all identical and what not and then the ginormous dark gloomy castle on the hillwhat is he trying to say there?
And oh my god, did you all recognize the Breakfast Club/Sixteen Candles- quintessential- geek-boy of the '80s as the COOL JOCK/Winona Ryder's character's boyfriend. It's insanity. Man those casting directors had a good sense of irony. And he has a great line when Eddie gets electrocuted, "I'd give my left nut to see that again."
Do you think the family Eddie stays with are Dems or Repubs?
Nevermind! I figured out what the identical houses and yards etc mean. They're all Communists! Duh! And when they chase Eddie back to his castle they're uprising against THE OTHER (I mean come on- I think we all know Eddie is an enterprise in the making- what with his chopping and haircutting abilities on top of his eccentric but admired style choices-PUHLEASE- that guy was on his way to the top) and also against government institutions like the police because the police can't stop the PEOPLE in their RIOT against Eddie.
So I think the bottom line of this movie is Tim Burton likes Communism but recognizes that there are some crucial flaws which prevent it from ever being realistically actualized. Oh My- Comrade Burton is clever! And Subversive!
But hey everyone- let's not rat Burton out. I mean the last Red Scare and Blacklisting was bad enough- we don't need to start a similar hysteria because of my ingenious revelations. Sure remaking Planet of the Apes wasn't the greatest idea- but you can hardly hate him for it- plus he has redeeming movies like Beetlejuice- damn that was a thrilling endeavor- to back him. So let's just love and let be.
Lindsey Morrone