Tom Kruller

Okay, here's the rub-*I was born a poor black child, yada yada yada, I move here, meet Alex while attending Abraham Lincoln high school here in beautiful San Jose CA (where my Norcal at???  i can't here you!  oh wait, I am writing this on a computer, as opposed to speaking it to a crowd of hip hop fans...), he starts this website, and inevitably i start writing for him. I won't bore you with the details, but suffice to say, I'm tight.  I want to be a stand-up comedian, i attend DeAnza college, I'm a DJ for KSCU Santa Clara (www.kscu.org), and I am extremely hoping that the gal I'm interested in right now doesn't turn out to be stupid, or annoying, because I've been blind-sided by loneliness before.  Tom Kruller needs girlfriend to reassert rapidly fading heterosexuality!!  Here are some purely non-fiction testimonials:

The Kruller's friends (in unison):
"We are all so very, very lucky."

The Kruller's landscaper:
"Qué?"

The Kruller's past lady-friends:
"We are all so very, very lesbian."

The Kruller's janitor:
"Qué?"

The Kruller's Dad:
"Never wrestle with pigs.  You both get dirty and the pig likes it."

The Kruller Family Doctor:
"The only person in my knowledge whose birth was followed immediately by a loud fart.  And I've helped give birth to over a thousand and four babies.  THAT I KNOW OF!  ZING!  Gosh, I'm funny.  I'm a regular Patch Adams."

The Kruller's REAL father:
"Qué?"

The Kruller's Pediatrist:
"What's a 'me' again?  I know it has something to do with feet, because 'ped' is latin for feet, but what AM i?  Hmm...  And I know i'll think of what i am the second the quotation marks end, too-that's the worst part.  Gosh, i KNOW this..."

The Kruller's Mom who's monopolizing the phone line so that his lady friend can't call, that's right, Tom Kruller lives with his parents, you want to make something of it, well do you????:

"La, la, la-dee-da, blah blah blah, nothing I could be talking about could be this important or
time-consuming, blah blah blah, I should buy Tom a car, bleepity ploob."

*I just learned how to do that little dash thing by holding down option and shift (this is on the mac),
and pressing the little dash button(-).  I learned this in my text book for English, called "Writing with
Style" by John R. Trimble, who's fucking tight-core.  Noiiice!